thank God He protected and preserved me through these trials. i knew that God was using the wrath of evil men to accomplish His purposes in me, to break down my self-centredness and my stubbornness. He taught me how to wait on Him, how to patiently endure hardship and how to love the family of God in a more real way. after these tortures i felt just like david described in psalm 102.4,5, 'my heart is blighted and withered like grass; i forget to eat my food. because of my loud groaning i am reduced to skin and bones.
even though the officers and doctor had stabbed me, kicked me, and electrocuted me, they didn't get what they wanted. they were furious. after a few days they devised a new plan. one morning i heard the prison dates open. one of the men in my cell climbed to the window and looked out. he saw a few well dressed PSB officers enter. they ordered the guards,
'bring yun out!
they ordered brother li to wrap my blanket around me and carry me out. a motor tricycle with a sidecar was outside the prison gate, waiting to take me to the nanyang hospital, where a doctor examined me and concluded,
'yun does not have any serious medical problems except that he's badly dehydrated. we must give him an IV, so fluids can enter his body.
a nurse prepared two bottles of saline liquid for the IV. i closed my eyes and heard cameras clicking as the nurse inspected my arm. the doctor told the nurse, 'he's too thin to find a vein, we'll just have to stab the needle into his arm. the doctors and nurses were acting for the reporters and cameramen who'd been called in to witness this staged performance. they still couldn't find my vein so they made me lie down on a bed in the hallway. many people walked past me and despised me.
'all who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads: 'he trusts in the Lord; let the Lord rescue him. let Him deliver him, since he delights in Him psalm 22.7,8
i was a pitiful and dreadful sight. like the apostle paul said,
we have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men...up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world. I corinthians 4.9,13
finally the nurse stabbed the needle into my arm muscle because she was frustrated at not being able to find a vein. the reporters were waiting and the medical staff had grown flustered by the delay. two bottles were emptied into the muscle tissue of my arm. immediately it swelled up and i was in great agony. the doctors and nurses didn't care if i lived or died. they just did the performance for the newspapers to 'prove' that the state had been concerned for me. the authorities were certain i would soon die and wanted to show they had tried to 'help ' me.
i was returned to the prison, where another session awaited me in the interrogation room. i closed my eyes but the officers again forced my eyelids open with their fingers. they played with me and mocked me, but they couldn't make me speak. two officers took me back to my cell. they threw me onto the cement floor, took away my blanket and used two electric batons to electrocute and beat me again.
it was a dark hour for me.
my fellow prisoners had no pity on me this time. earlier that day, while i was being tortured, prison officers had made a speech to my cell mates, telling them,
yun is an evil man,
an anti-government criminal.
he knows he has committed serious crimes, so now he is pretending to be crazy.
but we realize his plan.
he has started a hunger strike to make our government look bad.
but today the hospital has diagnosed no sickness, so from this day on we shall treat him according to his own devices.
you prisoners need to be careful of this counter-revolutionary.
his presence in your cell has brought bad luck to you all.
you should separate yourself from yun and report if you see something bad in him.
whoever does this the best will be rewarded with a more lenient sentence.
in this way the other prisoners (except brother li) were taught to hate me, so that they could be rewarded.
among the other men in my cell were some serving life sentences and others sentenced to between ten and twenty years. they had great hatred in their hearts and the offer of leniency was too much of a reward for them to ignore. from that moment on it was difficult for me just to stay alive in the cell. if not for God's mercy and protection, i would surely have died.
there were now 15 or 16 prisoners in our small cell. they all did their excrement in the same toilet. they took my bedding and soaked it in the human waste. the smell was terrible. the cell leader, who had been appointed by the guards, came and deliberately urinated on my face, and urged the others to do the same. so all the prisoners-except brother li-constantly urinated on me, laughing and mocking me as they did so. this was a great humiliation but i was too weak to protest. i suffered in my heart, but i endured silently.
i thought of the words from I peter 2.23,
when they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.
i also meditated on the promise of Jesus,
blessed are you when
men hate you,
when they exclude you
and insult you
and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.
rejoice in that day and
leap for joy,
because your reward in heaven is great. luke 6.22,3
the guards also started to treat the other prisoners more cruelly. in this way the men hated me even more, believing it was my fault their conditions were worsening. every day at a set time the other prisoners were allowed out to exercise in the yard. one afternoon i was also carried to the yard, where the guards instructed the men to throw me into a septic tank where the waste of all the prisoners was collected.
the guards urinated on me and tried to force me to pass waste. but of course i hadn't eaten for so long that this was impossible. i was fading away almost to nothing. at that time i only weighed about ..66 pounds. the guards electrocuted me again and again and forced me to crawl like a dog through the human feces. they kicked me with their steel-capped boots, forcing me to roll over into the excrement. they even used their electric batons to stab me inside my mouth. i cannot easily describe the pain this caused. i though my brain was going to explode. my mind and body shake even today when i think about those experiences. i longed to die to escape the pain.
instead of trying to use my own words to describe how i felt, let me ..quote the words of the psalmist,
many bulls surround me
strong bulls of bashan encircle me.
roaring lions tearing their pray open their mouths wide against me.
i am poured out like water, and
all my bones are out of joint.
my heart has turned to wax
it has melted away within me.
my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and
my tongue sticks to the rood of my mouth;
You lay me in the dust of death. psalm 22.12-5
all the other prisoners witnessed these events. the guards wanted them to mock and humiliate me. some did, but others couldn't handle the scene and wept bitterly....
one morning the time came for the prisoners to go to the toilet and they all lined up. i was so weak that i couldn't stand, so the guards made me lean against the wall.
i recalled the night i was arrested, when brother zhang, brother zhen and the other co-workers had lovingly washed my feet. i remembered the beautiful scarf zhang gave to me saying,
this scarf will keep you warm from the cold.
i felt as if my dear brothers and sisters were always with me, even in prison. i took great comfort as i thought about their sweet fellowship. i still had the scarf brother zhang had given me. i wrapped it around my waist to keep warm. in this way i felt i was still bound together with the believers.
that day i was left alone alongside the wall until sunset. then brother li was told to pick me up and carry me back to the cell. when i entered i found the guards had not finished with me yet. they tore the scarf from around my waist. i had a small porcelain teacup from my family, which i had tied to the scarf. many small blue crosses were painted on the teacup. it had given me strength for a long time. it reminded me of the cross of Jesus and also of my family's love. the prisoners untied the teacup and threw it into the urinal. they also threw my scarf into the human excrement.
i felt such pain and anger struggling with all my strength, i crawled into the waste to retrieve my teacup. the prisoners urinated on my cup and on my hands. i grabbed my teacup and hugged it closely to my chest. i was so angry that they had tried to take away the last remaining earthly possession that was precious to me.
i wanted to strike back at them with my words, but the Lord stopped me and told me,
do not repay anyone evil for evil..do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for god's wrath..do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. romans 12.17,19, 21.
i repented for the way i felt. i started to bless by fellow prisoners especially those who insulted me the worst.
less than two days later, god's wrath fell upon my cell mates and they started to itch from scabies. their skin itched all over, so badly that it drove them crazy. brother li and i were the only prisoners spared. even though i had lain in human waste and been subjected to the vilest unsanitary conditions, the Lord made sure i wasn't affected by this disease.
the guards took every opportunity to watch me for a sign of weakness, but they saw i just lay there on my back and said and did nothing. the prison authorities discovered that brother li had been secretly taking care of me in many ways. he had lovingly prevented the other prisoners from doing more harm to me and had encouraged them to treat me kindly. consequently, brother li was transferred to another cell. now i was alone, without the fellowship of any other believers.
the guards took me and again threw me into the urinal. the prisoners urinated on my face. i wanted to cry out now i felt so alone.
scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; i looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but i found none. psalm 69.20.
the next morning the other prisoners awoke to find their bodies covered with red welts! they had a condition known as pustule. they couldn't bear the irritations. they scratched their welts until pus oozed out. the afflicted prisoners couldn't sleep or lie down because they were so tormented by their need to itch. the guards came to examine me. they tore off my under garments to see if i had the disease. they thought the disease had originated from me because i'd spent so much time lying in human waste. they found i was the only prisoner free of the affliction! my cell mates left me alone for a while and concentrated on relieving their discomfort. the leader of the cell was the most badly infected. his whole body was covered in spots, even his face. the other prisoners were afraid to go near him. because i was disease free, my cell mates moved my bed from next to the urinal to alongside the cell leader, to increase my chances of catching the parasites from him. it infuriated the prisoners and the guards that i wasn't suffering the same affliction as the others.
one cell mate named yu had watched me closely for many weeks. he came to me and lovingly covered my body with a blanket and was kind to me. he was a God given replacement for brother li. one night yu came over to cover me. i reached out and took hold of his arm. i was so weak that my voice was almost unintelligible. he lowered his head to hear my whisper,
you must receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour. right then, yu silently received the Lord's salvation.
the leader of the cell, who had suffered so much from the disease, hated me even more when he saw i'd escaped the affliction. he took my blanket and used it for himself. in its place, he wrapped me in his own disease ridden blanket, covered in blood, dirt and pus that had ooze from his sores. but the Lord protected me, and i still did not contract the disease.
the devil had attacked and threatened me through many evil men, but the Holy spirit had made me strong in Jesus, even though me outer body was almost totally destroyed. my enemies had all been confounded.
the prisoners discussed among themselves how much longer i would live. some said,
he will die within three days.
others said,
he will surely not even last tonight. i bet you he will die by the morning. if he survives the night i'll give you my mantou. in this way they gambled with each other...
the PBS were unable to extract any confession from my mouth to use against me. they were afraid that if i died they would have to give an account to the provincial authorities, so they were nervous.
the prison arranged for several nurses from the hospital to come. they used a tool to open my mouth and a bottle to force feed soup to me, but i refused to swallow and let it run down onto the floor. photographers were present. they took pictures as 'evidence' the authorities had done everything they could to save me.
when the guards saw that i let the soup run down to the floor they mocked me and said,
yun, we no longer care if you live or die. we couldn't care less. we've done everything possible to help you. you thought your hunger strike would affect out government, but now we hope that you die. when you die, it will be announced as suicide. we'll take your body and cremate it, and we'll be glad to be rid of you, you stubborn man.
during the wave of intense persecution in henan, from the second half of 1983 to june 1984, our church encountered severe difficulties. hundreds of workers were arrested. i thank God that He gave me a mother who prays without ceasing. my mother prayed every morning and evening for the church and the leadership. she and the other believers cried out for God's mercy and revival, because the shepherds had been struck and the sheep were scattered.
in the evening of 1 april 1984, while kneeling in prayer, my mother saw a vision. it was very powerful to her, because at the time she was the midwife in our village. in her vision a young woman was having a difficult time giving birth. because she was malnourished, she was giving birth prematurely at seven months. a tiny baby boy was born. the girl's family and the midwife said,
this baby will not survive.
so they placed the baby in a linen bag and intended to throw it away.
in the vision my mother walked forward and said,
let me have a look inside the bag.
she turned to the girl and assured her,
your baby will not die.
after she spoke, the baby transformed and became me. my mother was shocked and woke from the vision. she was overcome with emotion and cried aloud,
Father God, have mercy on my son!
then a very clear voice spoke to her:
your son will not die.
since the day i was put in prison, may friends and family members not only prayed for me, but they had tried to find out information from the PSB about my condition. no one was allowed to visit me.
they were told there was no chance i would live. some were told i'd been sentenced to death, others that i would receive a life sentence. the news reached the ears of my wife and mother.
deling's sister in law told her,
go home to your mother and marry someone else as soon as possible there's no chance yun will ever come back home to you.
but thankfully the lord helped my dear wife resist these temptations. she decided to stand firm and faithfully committed herself to the Lord.
at this time my wife received a dream, the very same night my mother received the promise that i wouldn't die. in my wife's dream, she saw herself and my mother visiting me in prison. i was so skinny yet strong in the Lord's grace. i was full of joy and peace. in the dream i gave her a key. i firmly told her,
this key can open every door!
when deling woke up she immediately realized that THE LORD JESUS WANTED HER TO USE PRAYER TO OPEN EVERY DOOR OF DIFFICULTY.
the next morning my mother and wife shared the vision and dream they had received. they were greatly strengthened in their faith. they knelt together and gave thanks to the Lord. they also shared the dream and vision with some of the other believers.
at that time there was just one church leader-brother fong-who was not in prison. he visited my home and PRAYED ALL NIGHT, CRYING OUT TO GOD FOR MERCY AND REVIVAL. the next day he told my family,
it's time to visit yun in prison.
in china people cannot just visit prisoners wherever they like. they can go only when they receive an official invitation from the prison authorities. the very next day my wife deling received an invitation from the prison. this was no surprise to anyone, because my family had already received the invitation from the Lord!
more than 70 days had passed, and i hadn't eaten any food or drunk any water in all that time. since the day i was imprisoned i hadn't received a single word from my family or my church. my cell mates, despite their skin disease, didn't stop torturing me. i nearly believed the words from their mouths that i was going to die. darkness and torment pressed against me. at that time i felt that an angel of the Lord surrounded me with his strength and keep me from dying.
on the 75th day of my fast, around 3 am., a brilliant ligh flooded my cell. in a vision i saw myself riding a bicycle along a road. on the handlebars of the bicycle sat a lovely seven year old boy named xiao shen. i knew this boy before i'd been arrested. both his parents love Jesus. in my vision. xiao shen said,
uncle, let me sing a song for you!
he sang,
Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth, the life. no one comes to the Father except through me. john 14.6
i sang with him, louder and louder. i was full of joy! i felt as free as a bird!
in my vision i saw my body was still lying in the cell, but i was able to see through the prison walls to the outside world. i saw many different people with various skin colours. they cam from numerous nationalities and diverse cultures. some were kneeling and some standing. they all had their hands raised in prayer. i tried to walk out and meet them, but suddenly the scorpions, hornets, snakes and horrible creatures came and attacked me again. i was knocked to the ground. slowly i opened my eyes and found i was cradled in my mother's arms. she held me tightly. my wife, sisters, and brothers were all grasping my hand and weeping out loud. i told them,
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.
then i awoke from my vision.
curing the long fast, my days were full of struggle, miracles, dreams, visions, and revelation from the Lord. i experienced His strength every day. although i had no bible, I MEDITATED ON HIS WORD CONSTANTLY FROM THE SCRIPTURES I HAD MEMORIZED.
although men tried every way possible to destroy me. they did not succeed. now they tried another way. the authorities invited my family to the prison to try to get them to convince me to eat and talk. they intended to listen closely to what i said, hoping to gather a confession or some information they could use against me.
on 6 april 1984, the PSB sent officers to my home, instructing my mother and wife what they should say to persuade me to eat and talk. but the Lord had already warned my mother and wife,
they come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. matthew 7.15
the next morning, at eight oclock on 7 april, my mother, wife, and six other relatives and co-workers arrived at the front gate of the nanyang prison. the gatekeeper made them wait while the guards ordered brother yu to carry me to the interrogation room again. they tried to trick me saying,
yun, this is again your big opportunity. if you'll open your mouth and speak, all of this can be settled once and for all.
when i refused to answer them they again madly beat me with a whip and shocked me with an electric baton. i lost consciousness.
when i came to, i felt a very warm sensation flowing over my body, as if i was lying on a soft bed. i didn't know if i was alive of dead, awake or asleep. i felt warmth against my face as if someone was gently and lovingly caressing me. i though i was having a vision, but when i opened my eyes i saw i was in the arms of my mother! beads of warm tears awakened me and her loving arms tightly comforted me. i saw my mother was in great anguish, as if a knife had cut into her heart.
deling stood beside her. she couldn't believe her eyes at my physical condition my wife spoke to my sister and said,
i tell you, this is not him. this is definitely not my husband!
i was just a pile of skin and bones. much of my hair had fallen out from being beaten and kicked. my ears had shrivelled. i had grown an unkempt beard and had messy hair. the patches of hair that remained were knotted together from my won dried blood. my whole appearance had changed because of the electric shock therapy...
my mother knew it was me after she identified my birthmark. she wept aloud and cried,
this is my son! Lord, have mercy on us!
when my wife realized this tiny human frame in front of her truly was her husband she almost fainted
suddenly the Lord increased my strength. a great power came over me. it's difficult to explain, but i felt as if my spirit had become one with my heavenly Father. the Lord commanded,
speak! this is your time!
when i was about to open my mouth to speak, my sister's hand closed it she knew the guards were listening. she knew i hadn't tasted food or water for more than 70 days, and was afraid i would receive more torture if i spoke.
i pushed my sister's hand away and cried out,
do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. psalm 146.3
it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. psalm 118.9
in the meantime i tightly gripped the hands of brother fong and fixed my gaze on him. i told him.
brother, riches and honour cannot corrupt us.
threats and violence cannot affect us.
poverty and obscurity cannot divert our path.
be strong in God and look only upon the Lord Jesus Christ. my heavenly Father already told me you would come to visit me today.
the prison officers and guards didn't understand what was happening or what i was talking about. everyone was weeping and wailing. when i tried to speak again my sister placed her hand over my mouth. i felt as if a great fire was locked in my bones, wanting to get out. i held my mother's hand and told her,
mother, your son is hungry!
mother, your son is thirsty! mother, the autumn has ended and the cold winter has come. why didn't you send any clothes to me?
she wiped my tears and said,
dear son, it's not because your mother doesn't love you. we sent you many clothes and things to eat, but none of them reached your hands. we asked other people to send you clothes and food, but the prison guards took them away too.
my family didn't understand that i wasn't referring to physical hunger and thirst. one of our co-workers heard me say i was hungry and thirsty, so she ran out of the prison to the nearest shop to buy some food and drink. i couldn't stop crying. i spoke again,
mother, i'm not hungry for earthly bread and water
i'm hungry for the souls of men.
mother, preach the gospel and save people, that is the only food that satisfies.
i cried out,
My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work.
do you not say, 'four months more and then the harvest?
I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields!
they are ripe for harvest. john 4.34-5.
with tears in my eyes i said,
i've been fasting 74 days. this morning before dawn the Lord showed me in a vision that i would meet with you all.
dear mother, i was nearly beaten to death.
if i die, i will die, but i will remain faithful to the Lord.
mother, did you bring the meat and blood of the Lamb?
the sister returned from the shop with some crackers and a bottle of grape juice. when i saw this, i broke one cracker, blessed it and handed it to my wife, mother, brother fong, and the other co-workers and relatives. from my broken heart i said,
this is the Lord's body, broken for you, eat this in remembrance of Him.
i then poured out some of the grape juice,
this cup is the blood of the Lord that was shed for us.
everyone bowed their heads and solemnly received the Lord's supper...
i cried out loudly and held my loved ones.
i said,
mother, today may be the last time i take the Lord's supper with you.
i turned and kissed my wife.
i told everyone,
my dear wife, mother, brothers and sisters, i will see you all in heaven.
everyone burst into tears.
my oldest sister hugged me and asked,
how can you leave your old mother and your young wife, to die for your own sake?
besides, your wife is pregnant. how can you be so cruel to her?
my mother pleaded,
son, your wife needs you.
your mother needs you.
God's family needs you.
she lowered her voice and whispered in my ear,
listen to your mother. God has told me that you will not die. you must be strong and stay alive.
under the Lord's protection we finished sharing with each other.the prison authorities seemed puzzled and confused. they heard our words but didn't understand what was happening. i told my family,
please fast and pray for me.
I NEVER BECAME A JUDAS.
I NEVER DENIED THE LORD OR HIS PEOPLE.
then the officers returned to normal, as if they were waking from a dream. they banged their fists on the table and shouted,
what are you talking about? enough! get out!
the guards were ordered to take me back to my cell. my mother, wife and sister held onto me and wouldn't let me go, as the guards dragged me away.
my mother would rather have died than leave me in the hands of evil men, but they tore me from her like a pack of wolves attacking a defenceless sheep. even in front of my family they beat me and ripped me away, pushing my elderly mother to the floor. they all wept bitterly, not knowing if they would ever see me again. with a loud clang they slammed the iron prison gate. even through the gate i could hear my mother crying out,
son, remember your mother's words. you must stay alive! stay alive for God!
i shouted back,
mother, preach the gospel! ask the churches to fast and pray for me!
the guard slapped my face and took me back to my cell.
after i was carried back to my cell, the guard kicked me and shouted, how dare you speak and eat today after you have been quiet for so long! i will skin you alive! you wait and see! he slammed the iron door shut as he left the cell.
the cell leader insulted me, you are a fake! you pretended to be dying every day. i'm alive and well in prison even though i've killed and raped women. you came to the prison because you believe in Jesus and you're dying like a sick dog.
one of the other prisoners was a muslim. he snarled at me, how dare you preach Jesus against our nation's laws? you deserve to die. the heavenly law will judge pigs like you!
all the prisoners knew i was very weak and needed to be carried everywhere i went. they hadn't heard me say one word for many weeks, but when i heard these insults the Holy Spirit came upon me. i stood to my feet, much to their amazement and proclaimed in a loud voice:
fellow prisoners, i have a message from my Lord. please listen carefully!
everyone was astonished that i could stand and speak with such power and authority i was just a bag of bones. they had been placing bets on when i would die, but now i was standing before them speaking with a loud voice! i told them,
friends, God sent me here especially for your sake.
the day i entered this cell i told you i'm a pastor who believes in Jesus.
the first night i sang to you and shared Jesus' salvation with you all.
you have all closely watched me and you know i haven't taken a single grain of rice or one drop of water for 74 days.
i ask you, over several thousand years of history, who has ever seen anyone do this for 74 days and live?
don't you realize this miracle is a demonstration of God's mighty power and his protection over me?
now my Lord has allowed me to stand before you to let you know that Jesus is the true and living God.
how dare you continue in your sin, doing evil things!
friends, when the judgment day comes how do you plane to escape hell?
only Jesus can forgive you!
this day the Lord has mercy on you and offers you an opportunity to repent and receive forgiveness of your sins. all of you should
kneel down before Jesus Christ,
confess your sins,
and ask God to forgive you.
how else will you escape the punishment of hell?
after i spoke it was as though a bomb dropped on the men! they couldn't help themselves. the cell leader was the first to come and fall on his knees. he cried out,
yun, what must i do to be saved?
the other prisoners also knelt down, including the muslim. they cried out in a loud voice,
what must we do to be saved?
how can we be forgiven by God?
every one of those sin hardened men received the Lord Jesus Christ, repenting of their sins with many tears. they also felt guilty for the way they had treated me. i forgave them in the same way that joseph forgave his brothers. i encouraged them by saying,
you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. genesis 50.20
because we didn't have much water available, i used a few drops to baptise each one of them.
a prison guard in the hallway outside our cell heard the commotion and rushed to the door. he stood rooted to the floor for several minutes without saying a word, totally amazed at what he witnessed.
the entire atmosphere in the cell was drastically transformed. these sin hardened men now had new tender hearts. their language and behaviour totally changed. previously hatred and selfishness reigned in cell number two.
now , joy and peace reigned.
for days the men walked around with tears in their eyes, amazed at how the Lord had poured out His mercy on them. when they wer allowed into the yard they took every opportunity to share the gospel with prisoners from the other cells, in this way the gospel was preached thoughout the prison and many repented and believed in the Lord!
by God's grace He now gave me a new job: to disciple the new believers in the prison!
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