had a new experience yesterday. was coming over to the library to write you and all the sudden had a check in spirit. decided to cast a lot and it said 'no'. i went home. needless to say, i was not happy at all. why? I LIKE TO 'TALK' TO YOU. God is trying to move to the place where what He wants comes first before what i want, no matter how 'good' it may seem. ouch! that really cuts cross grain to my flesh. to be quite honest, i was in quite a little funk and did not have to happy an evening. everytime i deny my flesh i find it extremely powerful. try it the next time you are really looking forward to doing something you want. deliberately don't do it and see what you experience. even worse is if you NEVER do it. that hurts and tends to create general interior mayhem.
just motored through quite a number of emails...most of them of a political nature...i checked them and then pressed the 'report spam' button. i hadn't been here since last sunday so there were a bunch and i moved them out of my life with a click. wow, that was satisfying. the lot i cast, 'should i continue to be involved in political issues?' clear cut a major time thing and source of much lack of peace by coming up 'no'. great! i no longer have to bear all the world's problems on my wafer-thin little shoulders. i know if that's the total end. i have a peace about casting lot on certain things that may come up in the future. if i repeatedly get 'no' them i might discontinue all such queries. i just sense that the 'no' received on the general question was an answer to prayer for guidance, for deliverance from the frenatia of the last eight months or so.
i am now wondering about the source of all that. the period was characterized by a marked lack of peace. my sense is that when there is a lack of peace there is unclear direction from God. if i was more mature spiritually i probably would have ceased all writing, all political activity and waited on the Lord. 'i wait for the Lord. my soul doth wait and in His word do i hope. my soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning, i say, more than they that watch for the morning!' this may be a favorite verse but it has yet to take hold as a part of my life. i am an action oriented, impetus person. hard to break ingrained patterns. the Lord seems to have given me eight months of anxiety in order to begin helping me to move away from 'what comes natural'. it is interesting that from time to time, 'fret not thyself because of evildoers' would come to me. my response was to pray that i wouldn't fret. it did not occur to ask the Lord, 'what about this fretting? it's obviously not Your will. what's going on? what's the block that seems to make it impossible not to fret? and wait for direction.
among a number of things i've been impressed by, the most powerful is the statement, 'do not resist him who does evil' (matthew 6:39) . as i meditated on that the first reaction was that it seemed absurd, especially when applied, say, to abortion. (by the way, as you perhaps are already well aware, not only am i a work in progress but so is my thinking as i seek to understand exactly what God is saying to me on particular issues.) ...here i am evidently instructed not only not to resist evil people but in not resisting seek to also bless them, if possible, in the process. it goes on in this vein when saying, 'if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. and whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. give to him who asks of you and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you'. it comes to me that maybe one purpose of God in these 'insane' instructions might be to provide the world with an example of His miraculous power to totally provide, protect or release from this life the one who wholly trusts in Him.
but getting back to abortion or say, a government that steals private property with impunity..or..or..or. the list can seem very long these days to a person of my persuations about what is right and wrong....how do i understand isaiah 1.17 about defending the orphan etc. well, evidently i am instructed to defend the orphan as best i can without resisting..and, if possible, blessing, those who are responsible. wow. it still GRATES BADLY. but now i am becoming increasingly convinced that it grates my flesh and not the One who instructs me how to live. i am praying to truly submit myself completely to the One 'whose ways are higher than mine'... and i am experiencing genuine peace in a growing way as i leave injustice to Him who will judge. now i need to do all i can, or more accurately that which He desires, in the narrowed scope He allows me.
hope you have a good week. love, dad
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