11.1.2013 DUCT-TAPE DISCIPLES by carol arends

in the last few months God has, amazingly,
brought a number of men into my life.
it started a while ago
as i was led to start 'throwing pebbles' from time to time
into the lives of other men who i sensed might be open to
really seeking to be challenged in and grow in their faith
to the point that they were becoming more and more Christlike
in what they thought, spoke and did...
to the point of being open and honest about sins they were struggling with,
to the point of being desperate for Christ.
for the last few years this impulse has been on and off.
'on' when the desire for such was rekindled,
'off' when discouragement set in once again
because of little to no response..
finding little or no apparent kindred desire in any one else i knew.
but these last few months...!
God seems to be blowing the door of apathy off its hinges.
the first was a man named mark, recently saved and seeking a mentor.
it is our relationship that is shaping me
as i seek to learn what it is to be a friend
in christianity today, november, 2013, p31

what really sticks when leading a (note: person, no!...a) FRIEND to Christ

pascale honore loves watching her sons tackle the australian surf.
a woman not easily intimidated,
she would join her boys in the waves
were it not for a 1995 car accident that left her paraplegic.
bound to a wheelchair, surfing was not an option
-until one of her sons' friends had an idea.

tyron swan, 23, is a strong and skillful surfer.
'i could duct tape you to my back and surf, he said to pascale, 50.
pascale didn't see why he couldn't and armed with several roles of tape,
they set out to test their plan.

pascale 'can't find the words to explain'
what it's like to move through the ocean,
to feel like she's 'part of the water' after years of immobility.
for his part, tyron notes that surfing with an extra 88 pound taped to his body
is 'a pretty good challenge'.
but his nonchalance can't mask the significance of his gift.
'it's changed her life in a way, he admits.

..a powerful metaphor for spiritual friendship.
is there any more vivid embodiment of 'bearing one another's burdens gal. 6.2
than a sturdy tyron rising up on his surfboard with a ginning pascale on his back?
is there any richer example of the way trust can make possible
things once thought impossible?
when we use words like evangelism and discipleship,
are we not daring to dream that we who have already experienced
the waves of God's mercy might somehow lead a friend or two into the water?

..wherever the duct tape surfing documentary is posted,
there is space for viewers to leave comments.
several folds have asked about having a company make a professional grade harness,
eliminating the need for the reams of silver tape

(note: takes a lot of time and effort and output to be a friend
(ie. the duct taping and unducttaping!) 
not to speak of the strength, cost, potential for injury and pain involved)
tyron cuts off with a fishing knife after every outing.

'pascale was sent a number of harnesses to try but realized that duct tape is the best
as ty needs her in a certain position (note: skin close)
, explains mark tipple, the film director.
'too low and he's off balance,
or if she's too high, he can't raise his head while paddling and can't see.
for now, duct tape is the best!

where prefabricated solutions have failed,
duct tape lets pascale and tyron
customize, adapt and fit themselves together as needed.
here is where my mind makes the leap back to spiritual friendships.
there are many evangelism and discipleship programs available,
chock full of great ideas.
but i am learning,
in my halting attempts at SPIRITUAL FRIENDSHIPS,
that no one believes, disbelieves, questions or grows in exactly the same manner.
THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO SHARE THE FAITH
OR INVITE SOMEONE DEEPER INTO IT.
while programs give us ideas,
successful spiritual friendships
are built upon ADAPTIVE, RESPONSIVE, TRUSTING relationships
as unique as the people who inhabit them.

as a teenager, i spent several weeks going through a life changing discipleship program
with my youth pastor's wife, pam mitchell.
although i'm grateful for the material we worked through,
i can't remember anything about the curriculum we used.
WHAT I REMEMBER, above all, IS OUR FRIENDSHIP
-the way i could trust pam completely with my hurts and hopes.
as she lived out the scriptures we were exploring,
i longed to swim where she swam
-to follow her as she followed Christ (I corinthians 11.1)

there is a give and take to discipleship,
a discovery of how a would be mentor's strengths and experiences align with
a friend's questions and quandaries.
spiritual friendship should be as much listening as leading,
as much discovery as discourse.
forcing that friendship into preconceived patterns
will almost certainly sink it.

and so, whether i am the mentor or mentee (or, often, both),
i am trying to embrace something like duct tape discipleship.
it's stickier, and messier, than some of the prefabricated solutions.
but it takes an approach as adaptable
-and tenacious-
as duct tape to be the kind of friend who dives in deep and,
like the proverb says, 'sticks closer than a brother' (18.24)