i have wondered much about david's adultery with bathsheba and subsequent murder of uriah her husband when david's clever scheme to try and get out of what he had done and pass his baby off as uriah's...
-wasn't he ashamed to know that others knew what he did...the one who had danced before the Lord as the ark came up to its resting place in jerusalem?
-how could he face people?
-how did he rationalize what he had done?
-how did it take a year for the prophet nathan to put the finger on david?
...and many other wonderings.
how would i react if i was the man who had done this? i don't even want to think about it.
king-godly-adulterer-murderer-a public disgrace? i just don't know how or what i would do.
he wrote psalm 51 after nathan to express a bit of what his thoughts were.
if he hadn't been freed from outward religiosity before this...he was now.
v16-17 for Thou desirest not sacrifice; else would i give it:
Thou delightest not in burn offering.the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit
a broken and a contrite (lit. crushed) heart, o God, Thou wilt not despise.
david was inwardly broken and crushed (more intense?) over his now acknowledged sin against God,
bathsheba and uriah.
this brought him into a whole new experience with God...it would seem.
i abhor my self righteous perspective...the parading of Self with little to no shame.
i long for
the continuing realization of God's mercy, love and forgiveness
a continual broken and crushed heart before the Lord
as He (oh may He!) continually unfolds and reveals the indescribable wickedness of my heart.
may these two graces move me to DO what He says
to BE a slave with no rights, no life of my own.
may He utterly break and shatter and crush Me until
there is only He
Christ LIVE in me i pray.
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