2.7.2013 CONSECRATION VII

on 1.30 i was joggled off the course i have been on for almost a year now of 'reading the bible through in a year'. made it as far as luke 12.1. for the last 9 days the progress has been to the last verse of chapter 17. so only 6 chapters in 9 days. it seems that the concept that had been growing in my heart to take up the practice of regularly greeting other 'believers in Jesus' with,
SO WHAT HAS GOD BEEN SAYING TO YOU,
in a strangely wonderful, but twisted way, has born fruit in the would be questioner.

the notebook i began that morning,
which has now reached a number of pages,
bears the heading,
WHAT IS JESUS SAYING TO ME?
since right now i am mostly reading His reported words.
the strong impression
i don't know how long this will last
was that of moving away from the practice of
reading through the daily assigned (3/5 on sunday) chapters
slowly, meditatively
to reading through only as quickly as
i am able to actually understand what He is saying
to the ones who first heard
and to every disciple who would ever hear or read them afterwards.
(not as if he were just saying and doing in some kind of vacuum
but in such a way that expected me to respond personally and appropriately
to what He said or did...as if i were personally present).

i must candidly say that my time with the Lord has moved to a different place
than it has ever occupied before.
it seems a very good thing.
but how i am totally 'snowed under' by it.
it's not at all the idea of
ok, He did/said this, so now i am saying/doing this.
the reading has rather turned a time of reading a book
into a daily encounter with a person.
it is poignant (keen/strong in mental appeal; affecting/moving the emotions)
i ask God to make it more.
i ask that He make this daily time absolutely transformative.
that i would become another person because of it.
that i, though a wretched sinner in fact,
would somehow be changed to waft abroad His beauty
in mysterious fragrance to His glory.
ie. no one would talk at all of me, only of God because of what i said and did
...just like they did when Jesus was here.

my times during this period have lengthened out considerably.
quite honestly i am reluctant to leave.
but i know that God' enemy, the devil
can transform Himself into a messenger of light.
i can lead a monastic existence never being away from the word or prayer,
i can speak with the tongue of men and of angels,
i can cast out devils and do many seeming wondrous works in His name.
and still hear those awful words
'depart from Me, you that work iniquity'.
what He has clearly been leading me to do,
ie. GET 54 READY. THEN SELL IT.
i find ingenious ways to avoid.
no matter how 'good seeming'
anything done to avoid obedience is
defacto (in fact, in reality)
sin.

last two days,
like chewing glass,
i have been enabled to
'chop its head off'
at one hour.

but, oh, i find it surpassingly sweet to spend the half hour bible time part!
i have hope that God will use this to my good and His glory.