2.16.2013 LONELY

You are more and more helping me to see the absolute absence of Your love in my heart and in my life.
Oh Lord, is it in man to set about practicing Your love?
is that not impossible Lord?
but You say that things impossible to man are possible with God, do You not?
You say, 'you have not because you ask not'.
Lord, i ask...'GIVE ME YOUR LOVE OR I DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is it not Your will that i love You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, AND my neighbor as myself?
do You not say, 'anything you ask in My name shall be given you'?
i ask this not for myself. i ask this that You would be praised, that Your name, Your true nature,
would be known in a greater way through my small and totlly insignificant life (apart from You).

below i copy two songs written by the brother, now in heaven, who most challenges me and woos me
to You. You were lonely for the right reason. i increasingly believe that i am lonely for the wrong.
in any case i cry out to You to make me like You. all i want is that i am crucified and Christ is seem...
whether i'm lonely or not.
Lord, would You show me the way?

lonely by myself -larry norman       (so long ago the garden)

if i could find someone
who really cared for me
someone to share my love
and keep me company
if i could find someone
i'd let them take control
and in exchange for love
i'd give my very soul.

it's such a lonely life
i almost cry each night
cause fate has put me on the shelf
i get so lonely
so lonely by myself

if i could find someone
who'd really love me right
they'd make my life complete
they'd make my soul shine bright
i've looked around the world
i've walked down every street
still i can't find no one
to give me what i need

it's such a lonely life
i almost cry each night
cause fate has put me,
fate has put me on the shelf
i get so lonely
so lonely by myself
i get so lonely
so lonely
so lonely by myself

who can i turn to
is anybody there
doesn't anybody care
oooohhh doesn't anybody listen
doesn't anybody care


i am a servant - larry norman       (in another land)


i am a servant i am listening for my name
i sit here waiting i've been looking at the game
that i'v been playing
i've been staying much the same
when you are lonely you're the only one to blame

i am a servant i am waiting for Your call
i've been unfaithful so i sit here in the hall
how can You use me when i've never given all
how can You choose me
when You know i'd quickly fall

so You feed my soul, You help me grow
You let me know You love me
i might feel worthless now but i've made a vow
i will humbly bow before Thee
oh please use me i am lonely

i am a servant getting ready for my part
there's been a change
a rearrangement in my heart
at last i'm learning there's no returning once i start
to live's a privilaege, to love is such an art
but i need Your help to start
oh please purify my heart
i am Your servant

Lord, Your love is unparalleled. no human love comes close. I am nourished, secure in Your love,
but give me unending earthly agonizing until Your love is finally flowing freely THROUGH
a crucified me. oh Lord don't let me meet You emptyhanded.