11.22.2012 ALLENDER -TO BE TOLD II

chapter 1 - THE TALE TO BE TOLD

READING YOUR LIFE AS GOD HAS WRITTEN IT

'yes, that's so, said sam.
and we shouldn't be here at all, if we'd known more about it before we started.
but i suppose it's often that way.
the brave things in the old tales and songs, mr. frodo:
adventures, as i used to call them.
i used to think that they  were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull, a kind of sport, as you might say.
but that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind.
folk seem to have been  just landed in them, usually-
their paths were laid that way, as you put it'.

that's an accurate description of life.
God is constantly writing our story, but he doesn't send us the next chapter to read in advance.
instead, we all read backward-
finding the meaning  in our stories as we read what God has already written.
life is a story that unfolds in such a way that we can't see very far ahead.
we don't know the final outcome, or even the next plot twist,
until we're in the middle of it.

as say says to frodo in the fellowship of the ring:
'i wonder what sort of tale we've fallen into?

'i  wonder, replied frodo.
but i don't know. and ghat's thee way of a real tale.
take any one that you're fond of.
you may know, or guess, what kind of a tale it is,
happy ending or sad ending,
but the people in it don't know.
and you don't want them to'.

WHAT SORT OF AUTHOR DO YOU HAVE?...you are a story.
you are not merely the possessor and teller of a num er of stories;
you are a well-written, intentional story that is authored by the greatest Writer of all time..

...God is the potter and we are the clay. even the word human-
derived from the latin word humus, meaning 'dirt'- shouts loudly about our origin.
we are dirt.
the name adam (hebrew, 'adama) means 'red', the color of clay.
God shaped, molded and formed us to reveal something about Himself..
He is a being who loves to reveal
and who invites us to join the process of revelation
by calling us to ask, seek, and knock.
God always intended for His children to join Him in completing creation.
we are not inanimate entities that merely reveal glory but living stories that are meant  to create glory.

...both your plot and mine are formed in the circle of relationships into which we were born.
our plot includes the age or unique situation at the time of our birth.
it also involves the tension of the tragedy that is our lot inherited from the fall.
a plot is a thematic merry go round that circles in and out and around the curse of creation and makes movement from the beginning to the end a ride on a roller coaster.
remember, the narrative unfolding of beginning, middle and end does not always march in sequence.

WHAT SORT OF CHARACTERS POPULATE YOUR STORY? WHAT SORT OF PLOT DOES YOUR STORY HAVE?

...in many ways, the plot of our life is the story of humankind.
it is about how we came to be who we are (creation),
how we lost ourselves (the fall),
what it means to discover the name God has written for us (redemption),
and how the ending of our story reflects the great consummation of God's story (His coming).
our plot is an encounter with thee heartache and dreams and desires related to our personal tragedies-
the events of our life that occur between fall and redemption and, ultimately, glorification.

every life is under the curse, a consequence of adam  and eve's turning from God to embrace the delectable lie of evil.
the most dramatic moment in the history of humanity,
other than  the second adam's faithful surrender to the cross,
thrust humanity into the course of sorrow, loss, and harm.
every woman will labor with loneliness;
every man will struggle with futility.
it is write into the plot of the earth.
as a result of adam and eve's folly, we all have been cast east of eden.
we live as aliens who know  we are not at home and
whose plot always involves efforts to rise above the tragedy of our condition.
we are looking for our eden and the intimacy we would have know with our heavenly parent had we not disobeyed.
at the same time, we are trying to make sense of the earthly parents we have been given.
and we are simultaneously trying to understand our time, face, and name.

in other words, we are trying to make sense of our story.

one wise person said anonymously,
'adversity introduces us to ourselves'.

....even when tragedy has nothing to do with physical death, it still involves a form of death in the shattering  of shalom or harmony.
a divorce is a death.
sexual abuse is a death.
betrayal in a relationship
the loss of a job
conflict in a marriage
an auto accident
an illness,
loss of meaning
or hope
or joy-
all are forms of death.
in the bible God makes it clear that rebellion results in death. death lies at the heart of all tragedy and at the core of every personal narrative.

...tension is living in the gap between certainty and uncertainty.
we always begin with what we know and are irresistibly drawn to what we don't know.
we are inveterately curious.
we are wired to grow, and all growth stretches us beyond our comfort level.
...we want danger and excitement, but only as long as they cone with  money back guarantee that everything will work our before the game is finished.

but life isn't like that.
there are no safe risks.
there is no growth that comes with a guarantee of success.
tension is the medium in which we breath every day.

...to understand our story, we need to know our tragedies,
and as we learn them,
we will catch a glimpse of how we currently manage tension.
repetitive patterns have become themes in our lives over time,
themes that impose structure on us even when a surface evaluation would tell us that these themes are nothing more than personal preference or desire.
we are not wholly our own,
nor are we exclusively the result of what has happened to us.
no wonder reading the plot of our lives is so difficult.

yet it is in the plot where we will find meaning.
it also is the only part of our story we can rewrite if the trajectory of our life is not as we desire.
i can't change my tragedies, nor can i really eliminate (fully) the characters in my story,
but i can write a new plot.
to do so requires reengaging the tragedies of my life with new patterns,
thereby developing new or additional  themes
that mark who i am both as a coauthor of my life and an editor of my future.
doing this marks me as a character in a larger story,
a player who furthers the plot development
while living in the real world of tension and tragedy.
to know our plot is the first step in changing it.

WHAT SORT OF ENDING ARE YOU WRITING?

...the ending of my story is how i lived my life toward an aim,
a finish that  is worth both dying for and living for.
if i live my life for me alone,
then my story is as dull as my self absorption,
even if i have survived untold adventures.
but if i live my life for Someone more important than myself
and i have sacrificed,
nobly risked,
been humbled,
learned,
grown and given,
then my life is headed toward a glorious ending.

what makes my life a glorious bestseller is that my plot reveals
not a mere moral  or lesson
but the very person and being of God.
a merely good life reveals little beyond the fact that goodness exists.
but a life that knows its plot, characters, setting, dialogue and themes
will possess a clear and abiding passion that reveals something unique about the author.
a life that is familiar with its story reveals much about the character of God.

i don't believe God is so concerned that we build ministries-
or companies, families, or any other human legacy-
to His glory.
His glory is grown when we simply live out the calling He  has given us.
we give Him much greater glory
when we are aware of our calling,
live intentionally,
and live with passion.
that's how we coauthor our own story.

chapter 2 - WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME?

...dale carnegie developed a multimillion dollar business based on teaching people to
win friends and influence people by saying someone's name a minimum of 3 times during a conversation.
people apparently love to hear their own name.
a famous television sitcom sold the setting and premise for the show with the line,
'you want to go where everybody knows your name..

in the ancient near  east a name confeerred meaning and a future
'to be lived up to or lived down'.
(notes, 'dictionary of biblical imagery, 1998)
a name marked a person with a set of expectations that determined the persons place
in the family and in the world.
today it is rare that parents first study a child in order to give the child a name that fits.
far more often wee pick a family name,
or we choose a name that sounds good and has  a meaning that we like.
the hebrew process of naming was exactly the opposite.
a name was chosen that reflected the unique calling and character of the child.
(note, among others abraham, sarah and jacob had name changes by God later in life.)

...each change in nae points to a day when we will receive an entirely new name. the bible tells us that those who seek God will one day be given  a new name:
'everyone who is victorious will eat of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven.
and I will give to each  one a white stone and on the stone will be engraved
a new name that no one  knows except the one who receives it. revelation 2.17
when i stand before God i will be given a new name...

the passage also reminds us that we are living in a world in between.
we are between two names.
we know our name;
we don't know what our new name will be.
...the result..is that we lose sight of the truth that we're on a journey to live out the story God has written for us...

paradoxically, we're moving toward the discovery of  something we don't yet know but have already received...

the word mores, the latin word that means 'convention', is where we get our word morality.
we settle for the morality of our community,
in order to fit in,
to not be too different, odd or undesirable...

..we grow up in a sea of stories told in a way that fits what we want others to  know about us...

chapter 3 -WHAT MAKES A GOOD STORY?

good stories tell about the intersection of desire (subjective expectation) and tragedy (cruel reality). a story begins when our desires collide head on with reality. sometimes reality is impersonal, like a storm theat sets into motion a flash flood that dills nine kids on a bus going to bible camp. but other times the cruelty is volitional. it could involve envious brothers, an unwise father who favors one son over the others, and a talkative, gifted younger brother who shares more about his dreams and desires than he should. good stories demand tragedy, and 'inciting incident'. and inciting incidents will always intensify our desire to listen to what the story is telling us-unless the inciting incident happens in our own story. often, when it occurs in our life, we want the story to be resolved and the problem solved-and quickly! we love stories as long as they happen to someone else.

stories don't give answers, but they do offer perspective. they provide a window through which we can look for patterns of life. peering through the window then leads to more compelling stories and finally deeper wisdom. wisdom ultimately isn't a formula or a conclusion but a way of being in the world that leads to a more truthful and more beautiful good. stories lure us because we sense this good hidden within them...

SHALOM
stories begin with life at peace. such shalom is not merely an absence of tension or the presence of perfect pleasure. it is a deep inner and external harmony when disparate parts flow togeher in a unity that is greater than the sum of the parts. it is like an excellent choir. at the state competition, when the tension and desire to do well are at their height, each member digs deeper and sings with an abandon that in turn stirs the combined whole, including the conductor, to reach even higher. as the piece moves to completion, the harmony intensifies to a level that is beyond what the choir has ever reached before. it is an experience of the fullness and beauty of shalom.

shalom often comes in a moment of tranquillity and innocence. as i wrote the last paragraph, i watched an eight month old child stand in her mother's lap and peer into her mother's eyes. her hands caressed her mothe's cheeks, and as she cooed, her mother echoed her tones. i stopped writing and stared. the moment of innocent, tender play between mother and daughter was captivating. such shalom is simultaneously invigorating and restful. it stirs and calms. it can bring the heart to a rest that may lead to sleep, but it is more likely to draw us to awe and wonder.

we all have moments of shalom. it is the moment we sat on our grandmother's lap and played with her pearl necklace. it is going downstairs on a winter morning and warming our feet against the furnace vent. i recall seeing my pajama pants billow with the flowing heat that made my toes toasty. i remember putting my head on a pillow to read a picture book until my mom called me to a breakfast of pancakes and warm syrup. that was shalom...

a moment of shalom is a taste of life in eden. it is life without sin, tragedy, emptiness or fear. search your own memory for moments of shalom. recall moments of rest, dafety and warmth...

SHALOM SHATTERED

shalom is shattered by sin, by the intrusion of a lie, a distortion of the truth that mars the pleasure of being naked, transparent, trusting and true. shalom is not shattered merely by the presence of something 'not good' because, in the garden of eden, God said that it was 'not good' for man to be alone. apparently, God wanted adam to know loneliness and absence in order to enter the glory of presence and companionship. mere absence is not tragedy, nor is our shalom shattered when we experience loneliness. instead, shattering occurs when ouur dignity is assaulted and death enters to divide and destroy.

consider the so called innocent teasing of childhood. a group of kids gathers around a timid classmate who is overweight:
'fatty pants, fatty pants, you're a big blubber butt!'
such words attack the most tender and raw part of the child's being. such words shatter shalom as sin severs trust and grows shame like a cancer. the result of the shattering is death. in every story, in every life, there are moments of death that take away our name and rename us as strangers, orphans, or widows.

at the moment of being unnamed, we are thrown into our story. we lose the name friend and are given the name reject. our story prior to the point of being unamed is a mild fluctuation between good and evil. it may be a boring or rather empty story, but at least it's safe. then tragedy enters the garden, and we are forever changed as we are cast from the sweet protection of shalom. from that point we embark on a journey that offers only intermittent moments of rest. our life is anything but mild, anything but safe.

joseph's life followed this pattern. he was relatively happy until he went to find his brothers. apparently, he wasn't used to being out in the rough and tumble world, but for some reason he was allowed to travel. his short trip became the starting point of a long and agonizing journey to an inhospitable foreign land.

obviously sshalom had been shattered long before this event, because joseph's brothers already hated him. but once the opportunity arose for them to punish hem, joseph's life journey truly began. tragedy always moves our story forward in a way that shalom could never accomplish.

josph's encounter with tragedy removed him from his father's benvolent provision. he went from most likely to succeed into shackled slavery. such a reversal of fortune, the shattering of shalom, takes away our idntity, reverses our expectations, and steals from us the security of our name. no longer was joseph favored son. he was now powerless slave.

listen to your own memory of times when you wer unnamed or destabilized by a shattering experience. some moments are monstrous, such as death dealing incidents of sexual abuse. or these moments can be as subtle and common as being mocked on a playground. in either case, the shattering moves us from a place of shalom to a place that is harsh and unrelenting. the shattering brins us a keen awareness that we are alone and in danger. we are on our own.

this is a pivotal point of our story. we need to name those moments and identify their settings, characters, dialogue and impact. doing this requires enormous honesty and courage, but it moves us more deeply into the plot of our life where we can once again imagine and pursue shalom.

SHALOM SOUGHT  once we are evicted from the shalom of eden, we must figure out how to get food, where we are going to sleep and how we will make our way in the world. it's inconceivable to consider what adam and eve felt during their first night east of eden. life in the wild, surrounded by the formidable darkness, would require a radical new choice:
will i trust in God's goodness to protect me and provide for my needs or will i trust in myself?

the search for shalom is infused with the fundamental question of meaning"
is life as random, opointless and absurd as it seems?
or is it ordained, purposeful and meaningful?
what will win-the abundant indications of randomness or our desire for more than we can see?
the fact that we tell stories that are given menaing by structure implies an awareness that life is not essentially random. life surely has meaning, no matter who obscure or confusing.

the search for that meaning is give stucture by HONESTY, DESIRE, and RISK.

HONESTY IS NAMING THAT WE ARE NO LONGER IN EDEN.
our shalom has been compromised; we've been cast out of eden. but an amazing number of us never begin this journey because we won't fully admit that we have been exiled, orphaned and widowed. we want to believe we are still citizens and heirs, not aliens and fatherless children. but the story we are to live and write doesn't truly begin until we face what we have lost and then turn to see the horizon of uncertainty ahead. our story will gain momentum and depth only to the degree that we honestly embrace both loss and fear.

DESIRE BRIDGES OUR PAST AND OUR FUTURE
desire takes form through our dreams. for joseph, dreaming literally plunged him into his plight. telling his brothers that he saw them bowing down to him in a dream fueled their conspiracy to seell him into slavery.

but later, josph's dreaming reversed the shattering of his shalom. he was called from prison to report to pharaoh what God had been telling him about egypt's future in a dream. we're in the presence of a good story when the flaw that shatters shalom is also the doorway to redemption. that is, joseph's being exiled (the shattering) led to his relationship with pharaoh (his redemption). whether it be our won flaw or the sin of others, God uses the raw material of sin to create the edifice of His redeemed glory.
your plight is also your redemption.
the bible assumes that its stories are also our story. abraham, the father of faith, is sent of into exile. he's a settled man with a comfortable life, but God makes him an alien in a foreign land. like abraham, we will be called by God to leave our place of comfort. isaac, the son of laughter, is redeemed from death by God's provision, and we will know God's provision as well. jacob, the son of isaac, takes redemption into his own hands and ends up being an alien like his grandfather.

we are abraham, isaac and jacob. their stories are a paradigm of our own. each of us is called, redeemed and exiled-again and again. along the way, we are called to make choices consistent with the character we are called to play. our story evolves as we face the tough decisions that come our way.

joseph was forced to make a series of agonizing choices. he was a slave serving in a position of trust when potiphar's wife invited him into her bed chamber. he could choose to have illicit sex with the wife of one of the most powerful men in egypt. but instead of choosing pleasure, he fled her grasp. this was the right choice, of course, but joseph's integrity got him into trouble. potiphar's wife accused him of rape, and he was sent to jail. no matter that the accusation was false. joseph went to prison nonetheless.

and joseph's story increases in intensity. earlier in his life his pride had caused him to be dumped into the pit; later his integrity got him into deeper trouble.

in joseph's story, the Storyteller is telling us something about life and about our own story. he is showing us that life is not predictable. the simple equation
'do good and good will come to you, but do bad and you will pay the price' doesn't hold.
it is more accurate to say,
'do good or do bad, but in either case disaster awaits'.
the search for shalom, for example, took joseph to prison where he was face to face with two men whose fates couldn't be more different from each other's. joseph again told the truth boldly. and just at the point when you think his agony was finally over, it began again. instead of being rescued from prison, joseph was left in chains. two long years passed before one of joseph's former cellmates-the one whose dream had been interpreted favorably-remembered joseph and mentioned to pharaoh his ability to interpret dreams.

joseph no doubt lamented his situation, but God is not bound by time, nor is our story. we desperately want our situation solved. we want resolution. but God unfolds the plot in His own time. it is in our months or years of waiting that our story comes to maturity. it is over a lifetime of stories that he turns our desire toward Him.

desire lies at the heart of who God made us to be, who we are at our core. desire is both our greatest frailty and the mark of our highest beauty. our desire completes us as we become one with our lover, and it separates us from Him and brings death as it wars against His will. desire is life and it is death.

desire is also at the core of an honest story and it is the core tension of all life. if we choose to read our story, then we are choosing to enter a wild and woolly process of writing and editing our life to embrace both loss and fear, dreams dashed as well as dreams enlivened by resurrected desire.

RISK REQUIRES BLEEDING FOR OUR DREAMS

a dream without suffering is little more than a fantasy. risk, the third element that gives structure to our search, involves bleeding. too many people are missing their story because they're watching the stories of others...
fantasy often involves legitimate desire...such daydreams are highly revelatory, but what they lack is blood.fantasy becomes a life dream when i'm willing to plunge into the cold water of reality..such action-such living-only takes a willingness to bleed.
so listen to the converging stories of the present. there is most likely just a handful of stories standing front and center in your life. they involve either loss and uncertainty or great opportunity and risk. whether the story takes place in the arena of business, family, friendships, enemies, love, service or play, you can be assured that the inciting events call for you to sacrifice your comfort and ease in order for your story to move forward. it's easy to ignore such inciting events. just turn on the television or crack open a trashy novel. it's easy to flee your story.

but if we honestly name the passionate desires of our heart, and if we risk seeing those desires come to be, the plot of our life story will begin to move with greater intentionality. yet the only way we can keep walking on that path is to allow ourself moments to rest and celebrate the temporary climax of a story in a denouement.

DENOUEMENT

a denouement is not a complete or fully resolved ending but a satisfying closure to a story. it means in french
'an untying, a relaxing of a knot of complexity'.
denouement is the rest that comes when all the disparate plot lines of a story, gnarled and taut, have been untied and an order has come about that brings a new moment of shalom....

tragedy mars shalom, but denouement invites us to remember our innocence and dream of a day of even greater redemption. denouement is an ending that serves as the prelude for a new beginning; there is always the next turn in the road. a new story begins the moment the old one ends. but a denouement is a respite that calls us to stop the journey for a brief interlude-
to eat, drink, sing, dance, and tell our story to others...

YOUR STORY UNFOLDS

..every life is a story with a unique meaning, about a person who bears a unique name, and which shares a common structure with every other story. according to this structure, we all will journey through countless moments of shalom, shattering, and searching that bring us to a sweet season of rest and celebration. we don't just have stories;
we are a story.
it is our responsibility to know our story so we can live it out more intentionally and boldly for the great story, the gospel.
God writes our story not just for our own enlightenment and insight,
but to enlighten others and
to reveal His own story through our story.

we are to read our past to gain a greater sense of how to write our life in the present. the more we take responsibility to write our present to honor the past, the greater the number of stories there will be in the future that are lived for His glory. ..