oh Lord, work in me so i no longer assent to 'correct doctrine' but do what You say. i like john wesley hunger for REALITY, not just words. it seems like i'm 'living'. i hunger to be truly crucified with Christ so that it is no longer i who live but Christ who lives in, and is experienced by me...so that others see Him not me.
below taken from sussana wesley by charles ludwig..
160.2 while john and charles were attendig oxford, the morals of the students were extrememly low. drinking, gambling, idleness, and loose living were common. both john ancd charles rebelled at this. charles wrote: diligence led me into serious thinking. i went to the weekly sacrament and persuaded two or three young students to accompany me and to observe the method of study prescribed by the statutes of the uiversity. this gave me the harmless name of METHODIST.
soon, this little group increased until it had as many as 25 members. from susanna, charles had learned the value of method; and, now that hed had founded this group which was soon to be known as the holy club, methods became part of their system. each minute of day had its purpose. there was a certain time for prayer, fasting, studying the bible, distributing alms, visiting prisoners, group discussions, taking communion, and so on.
i was because of these methods, members of the holy club were sneered at as being methodists. and it was because charles wesley had founded the holy club that he is revered as being the first methodist.
while john and charles continued at oxford, susanna kept up a steady correspondence with them. she encouraged them, discussed fine points in theology, and gave advice. she rejoiced when they were ordained priests in the church of england. but she refused to insist that they follow this course. that tsk, she felt, was the work of the Holy Spirit.
169.last...on october 14, 1735, john and charles took a boat from gravesend in ordderto embark for georgia. that afternoon they boarded the simmonds. although their mother was absent, her influence was still with them. the idea of method which they had learned from her had become part of the fiber of their lives. they had agreed to be engaged in private prayer each morning from 4 till 5; to study the bible together from 5 till 7; to breakfast from 7 till 8; from 8 until 9 to have public prayers; and to continue on in this manner until they retired for the ight between 9 and 10. it was a hectic schedule.
during their third month at sea, the simmonds was caught in a terrible storm. john recorded the event in his journal.
'at noon our third storm began. at 4 it was more violent that before. the winds roared about us. the ship not only rocked...with the utmost violence, but shook and jarred with so unequal, grating motion, that one could not but with great difficulty keep one's hold of anything, nor stand a moment without it. every ten minutes came a chock from the stern or side of the shi, which one would think would dash the planks to pieces.
'at 7 i went to the germans (they were called moravians and were on their way to georgia). i had long before observed the great seriousness of their behavior. of their humility tey had given me continual proof. and every day had given them occasion of showing a meekness which no injury could remove. if they were pushed, struck, or thrown down, they rose again and went away; but no complaint wsas found in their mouth. there was now an opportunity of trying whether they were delivered from the spirit of fear, as well as from that of pride, anger and revenge. in the midst of the psalm wherewith their service began, the sea broke over, split the main sail in pieces, covdered the ship and poured in between the decks, as if the great deep had already swallowed us up. a terrible screaming began among the english.
the moravians calmly sung on.
i asked one of them afterwards, '(were) you not afraid?
he answered, 'i thank God, no.
i asked, 'but were not your women and children afraid?
he replied, mildly, 'no;p our women and children are not afraid to die.
the storm stopped at noon.
but the turmoil in wesley's heart did not stop.
again and again he questioned himself,
'WHAT IS IT THAT THESE MORAVIAN BRETHREN HAVE THAT I DO NOT HAVE?
could it be, he wondered, that there is more to christianityh than the mere reading of prayers and the quoting of scripture?
...after almost 4 months on the ocean, the simmonds reached the savannah river on february 5, 1736. both john and charles were utterly wearied by their trip. still, both remained intrigued by the Christ like lives of the moravians.
approaching mr. spangenberg, one of the moravian pastors, john questioned him about the serenity or his people. in reply, the pastor said,
'my brothr, i must first ask you one or two questions.
HAVE YOU THE WITNESS WITHIN YOURSELF?
does the Sprit of God bear witness with your spirit that you are a child of God?
mumbed by the question, john remained silent.
then spangenberg had another question.
'DO YOU KNOW JESUS CHRIST?
'i know that He is the saviour of the world, replied john after a pause.
'true, replied the german,
''but do you know that He has saved YOU?
the pastor's emphasis on YOU startled john.
didn't the man know that he had and oxford degree,
that he was a fellow of lincoldn college,
an ordained priest,
the son of an ordained priest,
an ardent student of the bible,
a missionary,
and that he had served as a curate?
and didn't he know that he had been baptized as an infant,
that he had been raised in the church,
and that his parents were godly people?
finally, john wesley gulped,
'i hope...He..died to save me.
but his words had a doubtful ring in them.
neither john nor charles was happy in georgia...
neither john nor charles had been converted to the moravian faith. but each had been definitely influenced. moreover, peter bohler, another moravian, had kept in contact with them in london. realizing that he would preach faith, john was puzzled;
for he himself, had very little faith.
approaching peter, he asked,
'but what can i preach?
peter replied:
'PREACH FAITH TIL YOU HAVE IT;
AND THEN BECAUSE YOU HAVE IT,
YOU WILL PREACH FAITH.
john followed his friend's advice. but this led to problems, as indicated by his journal.
tues. 9. i preached at great st. helen's..on
'he spared not His own son, but delivered Him up for us all.
my heart was now so enlarged to declare the love of God to all that were oppressed by the devil,
that i did not wonder in the least when i was afterward told,
'sir, you must preach here no more.
sun. 14. i preached in the morning at st. ann's aldersgate; and in the afternoon at the savoy chapel, free salvation in the blood of Christ. i was quickly apprized that at st. ann's, likewise, i am to preach no more.
and so it went. the pulpit was closed to him at st. john's, wapping,at st. bennett's, at paul's-warf, and other places. charles, too, was ignored.
with almost every door bolted in front of them, charles and john (and sussana with them) were dismayed and heartbroken. neither charles nor john knew that an amazing breakthrough which would transform england was less than two weeks away.
kezzyhad a breakthrough experience in which she realized that Christ had come to earth to die for her sins. her feeling of assurance was so profound and so visible that charles was inspired to write one of his greatest hymns:
love divine, all love excelling
joy of heaven, to earth come down.
fix in us Thy humble dwelling
all Thy faithful mercies crown
following kezzy's 'conversion', charles had his own encounter with the Lord. his was in a rowhouse-number 12-in little britain, a short street that right angles from aldersgate. his conversion was on may 21 and was the result of a 'poor ignorant mechanic who knew nothing but Christ'.
three days later, feeling that he had never really been converted,
(note: this testimony is very meaningful to me..it 'speaks' deeply to me because it has many parallels to mine..
you don't know Christ because of your family.
you don't know Christ because of what you understand mentally.
you don't know Christ because of what you have done.
you don't know Christ because you believe the bible.)
john wesley concentrated on studying the new testament. to his amazement, he learned that the conversion experience was almost always an instantaneous one. troubled, he continued to consult with bohler, and then with bohler's friends. finally convinced that simple faith was the answer, he resolved in his own words to renounce
'all dependence in whole or in part, upon my own works or righteousness.
but pray as he would, nothing seemed to happen.
then about 5 in the morning on wednesday, may 24, 1738, he opened his greek new testament to II peter 1.4. there, he read:
'whereby are given unto us exceedingly great and precious promises; that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature.
afterwards, just as he left the house, he read the words of Jesus:
'thou art not far from the kingdom of god mark 12.34.
in the afternoon he was invited by a friend to attend a service in the nearby st. paul's cathedral.
curiously, the anthem was psalm 130. backgrounded by music of henry purcell, former organist of westminster abbey, the words were:
'out of the deep have i called unto Thee, o Lord; Lord, hear my voice.
john listened intently, for that anthem fitted his need as closely as a glove fits a hand. what happened after that? turning to his journal we read:
'in the evening i went very unwillingly to a society in aldersgate street, where one was reading luther's preface to the epistle to the romans. about a quarter till nine, while he was describing the change which God works in the heart through faith in Christ,
i felt my heart strangely warmed,
i felt that i did trust Christ,
Christ alone for salvation:
and an assurance was given me,
that He had taken away MY sins,
even MINE,
and saved ME from the law of sin and death.
assured of personal salvation through Christ, john and charles began to have a crowded ministry. soon, both were preaching many times each day. and when the churches were bolted against them, they preached in the streets, in the fields, at public gatherings. at first, they attracted a few, then hundreds, then thousands, then tens of thousands. george whitefield suggested field preaching. john was horrified. then he remembered how his mother had led services in the kitchen and how transforming those services had been. thus encouraged, he took the plunge and was soon observing gutters in the coal miners' faces as their tears washed away the dust.
(note: how is it possible to truly, i mean 'rightly', 'actually', 'savingly', know Christ and not tell every person you meet about them...to not speak the truth of God as it bears upon each person whether they say they are 'saved' or not? how is it possible. larry norman in sweet sweet song of salvation says,
when you know a pretty story, you don't let it go unsaid,
you tell it to your children as you tuck them into bed
and when you know a wonderful secret
you tell it to you friends,
tell them that a lifetime with Jesus is like a street that never ends.
it seems, well it just seems almost impossible to truly know the gospel without having to speak of it to everyone.
..and i carefully, guardedly, partially, fearfully (what will they do to me if they don't like it or don't believe it?)
at times, more likely when there are other 'christians' around for 'moral support'..
WHAT HORRIFIC GARBAGE
I MUST NOT TRULY HAVE JESUS IN MY HEART YET or i would continue the abominable, shameful, disgraceful way i am now living 'for' Him.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment