hi. i long for heaven. it will be so good to be able to be with Jesus. i remember the days of singing an old hymn which includes the words 'more freedom from earth stains more longings for home' and God, as in innumerable other instances, is answering my prayer by, with each prayer, sowing little tiny seeds within my being that are like little time-elapsed pictures in reality of words addressed to Him...the blessed Answerer of prayer.
just had another instance. as with so many was secretly irritated and judgmental and and determined not to do x in regard to a certain individual. then God showed me a glimpse of all that they are going thru and all that they are suffering...and once again melted my wicked hardened heart...where would i be without His so gentle reproofs. also this am He gave me such a melting and brought some more little truth-seeds to life. all i can say is that He put such a love in my heart toward the people at mision. oh may i have that love for Him that would move me to give my all to Him without any wretched me involved, without measure, beyond my ability.
got a book thru interlibrary loan, spanish vocabulary, an etymological approach by david brodsky today. i hope to absorb as much as possible of it in the next 3 weeks which may be shaping up to be extremely busy and challenging. may God bless and increase my understanding far beyond what would be humanly possible to the end His love may flow thru mouth and life to spanish-speaking people whose lives He leads me next to.
picked up the biography of john birch who was a missionary to and u.s. soldier involved in military intellegence in china. he was killed by the chinese communists in 1945. right now i am experiencing a strong desire to read of people who gave their lives for God. also at night am pecking thru john hus of bohemia who was martyed by the catholic church in the early 1400s.
am also experiencing an uptick of interest in music which had gone absolutely dead. happened to hear some exquisitely beautiful songs about the emptiness of the material, the tang of the spiritual on xtu on the way home a few nights ago..things that were written and sung by people who may not see Jesus as God, as the Way...but things that lavishly poured over my spirit with the refreshment of Jesus!
was moved to inquire about a needed language worker in the indian regions of canada. i am premature, too eagar, not thotful and prayerful enough. may God save me from my impetuosity.
rebuking people is never going to get easy. we all hate to have our darkness shown for what it is. sometimes, though, there is a glint of light and satisfaction in the stupifying darkness and pain involved in relating to others spiritually. just had one this week were God made some beautiful changes in a home. may You continue to rebuke me Lord, with or without human mediation. help me be willing to suffer as You did for speaking truth. just came to verse 24 yesterday in chapter one as i am memorizing colossians and it was so timely and loaded with grace in a time of continual struggle to maintain constant rebuke wherever am impressed it is needed...i paul..rejoice in my sufferings for you and fill up that which is lacking in the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for His body's sake, which is the church...had a blessed brother rebuke my gluttony. would that i were surrounded by a multitude of such rebuking brothers and sisters. may i be such an one to everyone i see sin.
because of the press right now of what i deem God's appointments am starving for time alone with God. one of the few times i was able to just be before Him this week He impressed II cor. 12.10 on me.. a messenger of satan (some indeterminate physical difficulty) was sent to paul to buffet him. he asked if it could be taken away. the Lord answered, 'My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness' and He evidently gave grace (spiritual strength) for paul says, 'most gladly therefore will i rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. therefore I TAKE PLEASURE IN infirmities, reproaches (insults), , in necessities (agonies literally), in persecutions (being pursued with the purpose of destrution), in distresses (literally, narrowings..being squeezed and opposed and limited)'. then he gives the universal spiritual principle in this area: WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN AM I STRONG. may God sow this seed in my heart so that rather than self-protect i dive, naked and flaccid off into the inky black at His command. especially make me embrace, well-pleased, every insult. may it have the charm of a most-desired-one's kiss...that i may be joined with Your suffering!
one of the many spiritual dysfunctions is a deep taproot of what i might call an 'orphan spirit'. i have a deep sense of what seems at times universal rejection. another of the many God-snippets this week is having the deep impression in spirit that with downcast eyes and 'poor, rejected, unworthy me' He gently put His gentle finger under my chin and lovingly raise my eyes up to His beaming-with-love eyes...'You are My son. You are welcomed in, fully accepted, in possession of all I possess'. rich, loved me..
another seed bearing life...sense a life developing within me of full personhood. i'm not just some insignificant blob seeking significance or love or esteem or acceptance from another rotten sinner like myself. i already have them all in You.
by experiencing the pain and humiliation of having a suggestion carelessly dismissed...Lord, may i not do the same to another.
by the ache of being treated more shabbily than the next one..Lord, help me be even with everyone, not 'intimate and chummy' with one and distant and dismissive with another.
from hudson taylor...
'had our Lord appeared on earth as an angel of light, He would doubtless have inspi8red far more awe and reverence and would have collected together even larger multitudes to attend his ministry. but to save man he vecame man, not merely like man, but very man...in language, in costume, in everything unsinful, He made himself one with those he sought to benefit.
had he been born a noble roman, rather than a jew, he would, perhaps, if less loved, have commanded more of a certain kind of respect; and he would assuredly thereby have been spared much indignityto which he was subjected. this, however, was not His aim; He emptied Himself. surely no follower of the meek and lowly Jesus will be likely to conclude that it is 'beneath the dignity of a christian missionary' to seek identification with this poor people, in the hope that he may see them washed, sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God!
i am not peculiar in holding the opinion that the foreign dress and carriage of missionaries - to a certain extent affected by some of their converts and pupils - the foreign appearance of the chapels and, indeed, the foreign air given to everything connected with religion, have very largely hindered the rapid dissemination of the truth among the chinese. but why should such a foreign aspect be given to christianity? the word of god does not require it, nor, i conceive, could sound reason justify it'.
taylor believed 'in the wisdom, as well as the blessedness, of literally obeying the Scriptures' and was prepared to stake his all upon them. note: may God give to me the same blessed modus operandi.
'the believer does not need to wait until he sees the reason of god's afflictive dealings with him ere he is satisfied; he KNOWS that all things work together for good to them that love god; that all God's dealings are those of a loving Father, who only permits that which for the time being is grievous in order to accomplish results that cannot be achieved in any less painful way. the wise and trustful child of God rejoices in tribulation... our heavenly Father delights to trust a trustworthy child with a trial in which he can bring glory to God and tru which he will receive permanent enlargement of heart and blessing for himself and others'.
it is said that there was no attitude he more rejoiced to adopt than that of a trustful child.
true christian life always begins where the life of Christ ended, at the cross..its true development is towards the cradle..
hope you have a good week. love, dad
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