am just on the other side of a very intense time of helping a friend and painting a house in philadelphia and am in a state of disarray. the outer life in a whirlwind of intensity, stripped of the 7 daily duties. the inner life bombed out. the future menacing. the Lord very real in the midst of all the chaos.
spent today going thru a book, spanish vocabulary: an etymological approach by david brodsky...an interlibrary loan due today. a kind librarian extended it for 2 more days so i will hopefully be able to finish it and then go back thru solidifying and taking notes on all the good and valuable insights gained. much of his basic schema i find that i have intuitively followed in vocab development so far due to a natural love of etymology but what a feast he has laid. the only way i think the book could have been improved would have been to provide meaning-information on the many, oft-repeated word endings (-isimo would be an example which magnifies whatever root it is attached to, ie. grand-isimo). i do not know enough to know for sure whether that would have a place in a strictly etymological approach, but feel that it would make word recognition much more rapid and widespread. anyway i hope to get this done so i can move to things awaiting.
you already know this is a regular pattern but just to note upfront i am going to blather on about abortion and what i am going to do in response. for all its worth, you might as well skip over it (that is if you've gotten this far :) and go on to the next thing. i've learned that 'talking' and 'going on' about this pressure sort of makes it 'go away' for another little while...
for the first time, over the last few months here, the thot has begun to surface that i might have the opportunity to be the first christian martyr on american soil, in american history. i don't know. possibly there have been others but, if so, have never heard of them. i have thot about how this would be a fitting way to join myself with the over 1 billion human beings that have been consciously murdered...let them consciously murder me outside the womb because i won't stop trying to make it difficult for a woman to murder the person inside her womb. it's obviously a symbolic gesture only but would it not be best to do it in this way?
if some persons go to war against an implacable enemy bent on destroying them how far would they get if every person fighting was not willing to lose his life in destroying the enemy? no! they would be totally destroyed in the attempt to fight and not possibly die in the effort.
the insidious thing about abortion is that no one really believes that the women and those who are supporting/encouraging/'forcing' them and those who are doing the actual murder should be put to death according to law. killing is not an affront to God but premeditated murder is. but no one i know except me believes what God says nor does anyone fear to disregard Him. i do. and i am willing, if need be to fight to the death. i am willing to let them take all my worldly goods. i am willing to refuse to cooperate with them just ignoring God and His commands. the more difficult the better. i want to share in the untold suffering that they inflict.
so how do i proceed? i am to love these enemies because Jesus loves His enemies. even when they are doing their worst against Him He cries to the Father, 'Father! forgive them for they know not what they do'. He says not to take revenge on people who are doing wrong. He says not to resist the evil man but to let him do to you whatever he wants to do without defending yourself and giving him more than what he demands. He tells us not to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good. He says to show mercy (withholding from the evildoer what he deserves in God's sight) with HILARITY (boisterous joy and meriment; rollicking!). so i am to love them by trying to do everything i can to help them while refusing to cooperate with them in the evil they are doing but proclaim God's truth, offer of forgiveness and certainty of eternal judgment.
so how do i go about this? do not do anything to protect myself. do not divest myself of all $ and property but let that all be taken away by the government. when i finish the last little bit of painting to fulfill 2010's 10-hour-a-week quota, just go down early the next friday a.m. to the planned parenthood in warminster and lay down in front of the door, refusing to move...as a symbolic action stating that i cannot draw one more breath without saying, by my non-cooperation, i cannot and will no longer participate in a society that allows the murder of its innocents (let alone promote this around the world). when i do this it would be with the idea that this would become my continuing vocation until either, 1. this is stopped or 2. i can no longer take this symbolic, non-violent, non-cooperative action (because of death). you take me to the police station. you fine me. (i cannot pay that fine.) you put me in prison. if i ever get out, i will immediately go to the nearest place that murders babies and slump in front of the door again. if i am hit or attacked in anyway, i will not defend myself. prison will be my home whenever i am not lying in front of the door of a murdering center. if i am taken to court and given a chance to speak i will share these thots and request that i be given the death penalty.
many times i think i must be crazy because not one person in the world has been willing to lose his or her life to take the side of all the slaughtered, murdered little babies. so i think this must be crazy. i must have heard craziness when i used to hear stories about men diving in front of cars, pushing little children out of harm's way and losing their own life. this craziness must have got on me or in me somewhere. it used to be considered courageous and laudable for a person to be willing to give up their life so that other people's lives would not be threatened or destroyed. maybe they still weep when soldiers come home in coffins. but when it comes to murdered babies no one has done one thing yet to try to save them. i must be crazy, but i want to do that.
i think of all the things that i could do with whatever time God has left for me here on earth and nothing comes anywhere close to this importance...not even close. i think of looking into the eyes of Jesus.. how could i be able to at this point? i don't think it possible.
is everyone called to do this? i don't know! i guess sometime soon we will all find out. maybe everyone is crazy and i am the only sane person alive and in some crazy wacky way this crazy thot i have will miraculously awaken everyone else back into sanity.
hope you have a good week. love, dad
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