it happened this year...it was coming. i could feel it. everytime i went to a high school basketball game and had to listen to that lie '..the land of the free and the home of the brave'...it was getting harder to take. first i stopped 'saluting' the flag with hand over heart, then i could no longer sing those words anymore and if i hear it much more i will not be able to even get up. i don't impune those who have and still are giving their lives in the belief that this is what they should do...i don't impune those who love america and are glad for all the benefits they experience here...it's just a deep and vast visceral reaction...how can i possibly honor in anyway a nation that is floating in moral sewage and has for many years 'mainlined' it to the rest of the world? no longer. i am very ashamed to be an american. the glory that was ours when we feared God is trampled in the dust. we are the great whore of the world...an open pusy wound full of unimaginable filfth before God and the watching world. destroy us quickly oh Lord and raise up a people who will fear, honor and obey You.
i am not a light painter...meaning, i don't like to paint with a light. first of all, i find that on occasion i have a harder time 'seeing' what i am doing with the light on than with it pointed away or turned off. part of this may have to do with the fact that there is something i'm not understanding still about the use of light..i'm not sure. i also do not enjoy, especially in summer, all the heat that comes from the hallogen light. but i often have the experience where i have thot i carefully painted thru a section, turn the light on it and am horrified at all the very obvious misses. in the future it would be wise if i get into the habit of at least training the light on each section after i have painted to make a final check. why i bring this up is that it really speaks to me metaphorically. i think i'm doing ok, maybe even pretty well but then God reproves (this word literally means 'turns the light on') me by His spirit using His word and i see that i am not doing pretty good or even ok. He makes it very plain. He never beats on me but its all right there in front of me to clearly see. i want Him to do this all the time because i need that light shined on my darkness. i thot of david this a.m. where he says in psalm 19, 'keep back Thy servant also from presumptuos sinS. let THEM not have dominion over me. (a presumptuous sin is, according to webster, to do something without right or permission. it is when i know i'm not supposed to step over the line and do so deliberately). but the thing i realized this a.m. was that david had a number of these things in his life. this is the normal state of the christian life. we are all walking around with our fly continually open and need the next guy to give us help. this is not how most 'churches' come across. you walk in and everyone is squeaky clean...perfect! oh to know continually that i am a sinner and that i will be that way until the moment i die. oh the continual thrill of being forgiven and loved and cared for despite the mess i am!!!!!!!! Lord, let me never again return to the awful desert of self-righteousness and not needing You continually.
i keep hearing this guy saying to another guy i love, 'she's the boss!' (referring to the latter's wife). finally i overheard the latter guy saying , 'she's the boss!'. something in me snapped. i don't know if i will have the grace to do this but there and then i decided that i am going to be SILENT NO MORE. silence is consent! why should the devil's 'truth' be broadcast everywhere i go without me, who has the real truth, saying a thing! Lord, help me to respond by word, look, deed etc. to what i am hearing and experiencing wherever i go.
it may be time for me to get a change of eyeglasses. my current pair i have had for the last 4 years since the bike accident. it is leaking all kinds of green stuff onto my upper face (i actually had to daub the bridge of my nose with an epsom salt solution in order to draw all the green out which had totally clogged 3 or 4 pores. was afraid that the same thing would happen there that happened on my neck when the filthy dirty (evidently!) string for my neck-cross clogged a pore with black stuff and a 'goider' the size of a marble was the result!!! that did in the cross. i had been having less and less peace about it sensing it was to attract attention to myself (gross!) rather than to Jesus.) ,and i have been putting up with it but now am starting to get headaches regularly (when i have the glasses on) and so its time...maybe.
vom, june 2010, p.7..abdulmasi, originally a muslim who was befriended by a church in nigeria and, pretending to be saved, he was baptized, joined the young adult group and even became a leader, all the while going to the mosque and praying to allah. after 6 years he went to a youth conference and a pastor preached to those who were living double lives. abdulmasi was convicted and that night the Lord saved him. he had been very active as a muslim even to the point of killing christians. here is a part of his testimony.
after years of being persecuted actively starting the night of his salvation when he was warned by his friends not to go back to the mosque as they were planning to kill him...'abdulmasi continues to minister to muslims. he secretly counsels quranic teachers, mullahs and sheiks who want to become christians. he is a lamb among wolves who has intimate knowledge of the wolf's lair. many men in muslim villages tell him they are christians because of him. a major focus of abdulmasi's ministry is witnessing to persecutors. he even visited the man who planned his son's killing, offering him forgiveness. the man rebuffed him. however, the man's son heard about the exchange on a radio program and later showed up at abdulmasi's home seeking to accept Christ.
"i discovered that LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE...if you want to win muslims to e on your side, YOU HAVE TO LOVE THEM, not WITH the human type of love, but THE LOVE YOU YOURSELF HAVE EXPERIENCED THROUGH CHRIST". instead of treating them as enemies, pity them, because it's not them, its something that is motivating them. because when i was there i did not know what i was doing. i was once a persecutor. now through His grace He has forgiven me. this is God's love. and though we have been persecuted, we are not crushed...we die so that others will live.' (abdulmasi is already a dead man! may God make me one of his tribe!!!!)
a former muslim woman in pakistan who now a follower of Jesus and has a vision to evangelize unreached peoples from other religions (matthew 28.19)...'i have no fear from any fanatic. i am strong in faith. IF GOD WANTS TO USE ME in this area, nobody can stop me'. Lord help my unbelief.
taken from Christ on the jewish road by richard wurmbrand from his experiences of persecution for his faith in Jesus..'we christians were not frightened by communist revolutionism. after all, we ourselves are the descendants of revolutionary movement...we do not reproach the communists for their revolutionism, but for the fact that it has not gone far enough.
the Bible is much more revolutionary than the writings of marx and lenin. on the very first page of the bible, we read that god says to the human beings He has just created, 'have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves on the earth.' genesis 1.28. only notic this: man is to have dominion over all of nature, but not over another human being..
we utterly oppose communist dictatorship and terror. we abhor communist atheism..but..we must show sympathy to the individual communist..no one need abandon Jesus in order to be a revolutionary. he can be a much better revolutionary by remaining with Him. without Jesus, revolutions are destructive and costly in blood. a revolution with Jesus is constructive, changing social conditions peacefully, after sanctifying hearts.'
poop along the way..
6.25 the path of life! you need to believe what the bible says about Jesus, give your life completely to Jesus, mimic Him exactly all the time, proclaim Jesus to everyone, go to where other professed believers in Jesus congregate to 1) worship Jesus in that place and 2) help the others to Jesus as savior AND lord. (key facts to remember about religious people: 1. they ignore what the bible says to do and will not in their everyday life submit to what Jesus wants. 2.they think they are god or are seeking some 'god' by doing what is prescribed by self or another entity. 3. they think they are good. 4.they look at themselves as being better than others. what a laugh! if we could all completely see ourselves we'd be vomiting our of total disgust continually..
animal love is big these days. this is another of the innumerable 'drugs' people use to get by. because they don't have the love of Jesus in their hearts they are always seeking love for themselves rather than demonstrating the love of Jesus to those people around them. in doing the former, they soon realize there is no one who truly loves them and so bump to the animal. romans 1.20f says, 'the invisible things of God from the creation of the world are clearly seen...so that they are without excuse, because that, when they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, neither were they thankful, but became vain in their imaginations and their foolish heart was darkened. professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like...four-footed beasts..' a follower of Jesus is merciful and kind to animals but does not look to them for 'love'. the only love that truly meets the needs of the human heart is the love of Jesus!....listen to romans 5! 'when WE WERE WITHOUT STRENGTH in due time CHRIST DIED FOR THE UNGODLY..GOD DEMONSTRATES HIS LOVE toward us, in that WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US. what a contrast to our great need and Jesus' great love that meets our need!
6.26 i have a new name for frenzied drivers. one would think that each person out there is under the delusion that they are God and that all other creatures unfortunate enough to find themselves in their way are to either vaporize out of the way, go fast enough to stay out of their way or immediately pull out of their path so they can go on in their fury, unimpeded in any way for even a nanosecond. your reality must conform to theirs as soon as they cross your path. you must think about them constantly as long as you are IN THEIR WAY. etc. they are GNATS. i can tell a gnat right away, even at a great distance. they have a homeing device that causes their two front headlights to affix themselves on my back window sooner or later. i generally move from my normal 5 miles above the speed limit to speed limit as soon as they make their appearance in the distance for i have found that in some cases this, surprisingly will help them behave themselves. but if they are their normal boorish selves i start to gradually slow down. i have had to almost come to a stop at times while the gnat is absolutely going ballistic. i have in this manner left 18 wheelers at 5 mph at the bottom of a mile long uphill stretch, have had garbage thrown at me out the window as passing, etc. but my stubbornness (i am not going to drive along forced to think about this gnat when i want to be in prayer or meditate on scripture!), as well as my didactic bent win out and each time a gnat appears a. they learn a lesson about driving safety and b. i forget they are on my back window..at least those are the goals. if i ever am challenged by a gnat i will communicate that if they insist on immitating a nascar speedway on a public thorofare by driving within one carlength, i will insist in keeping the speed to less than 10 miles an hour (rule of thumb: one car length for each 10 miles per hour speed). maybe this will be the way i go to see Jesus..
6.27 written about pearl buck..'she was an enthusiastic participant in local (chinese) funerals on the hill ouside the walled compound of her (missionary) parents house: large, noisy, convivial affairs where everyone had a good time. pearl joined in as soon as the party got going with people killing cocks, burning paper money and gossiping about foreigners making malaria pills out of babies' eyes. "EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS LIES", I REMARKED PLEASANTLY...there was always a moment (truth-speaking was pearl's typical m.o., evidently!) did they or did they not understand what i had said? they asked each other. they understood, but could not believe they had. the unexpected apparition of a small american girl squatting in the grass and talking intelligibly, unlike other westerners, seemed magical, if not demonic. once an old woman shrieked aloud, convinced she was about to die now that she could understand the language of foreign devils. pearl made the most of the effect she produced and of the endless questions - about her clother, her coloring, her parents, the way they lived and the food they ate - that followed as soon as the mourners got over their shock. she said she first realized there was something wrong with her at new year 1897, when she was four and a half years old, with blue eyes and thick yellow hair that had grown too long to fit inside a new red cap trimmed with gold buddhas. why must we hide it? she asked her chinese nurse, who explained that black was the only normal color for hair and eyes. (it doesn't look human, this hair?)
buck, again...'even the dire process of having her feet bound became heroic in retrospect. wang amah (buck's nurse) explained that her father made her sleep alone in the kitchen outhouse from the age of three so as not to disturb the rest of the family by her crying at night. rarely able to resist pearl's coaxing, she took off the cloth shoes, white stockings and bandages that had to be worn, even in bed, by women with the infinitely disirable 'golden-lily' feet that enforced subjugation as effectively as a ball and chain. pearl inspected the lump of mashed bone and livid discolored flesh made from forcing together the heel and toes under the instep, leaving only the big toe intact. she had witnessed the mothers of her contemporaries crippling their own daughters' feet and even suspected she might have ruined her chances of getting a husband by failing to go through the procedure herself. she watched her nurse put the bindings back on without comment. it was one of her firest lessons in THE POWER OF IMAGINATION TO COVER UP OR CONTAIN AND MAKE BEARABLE THINGS TOO UGLY TO CONFRONT DIRECTLY (a.k.a. ABORTION) it was the same lesson she learned from the body parts (babies left to die from exposure) on the hillside,...
hope you have a good week. love, dad
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
6.27.10 MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER!
am just on the other side of a very intense time of helping a friend and painting a house in philadelphia and am in a state of disarray. the outer life in a whirlwind of intensity, stripped of the 7 daily duties. the inner life bombed out. the future menacing. the Lord very real in the midst of all the chaos.
spent today going thru a book, spanish vocabulary: an etymological approach by david brodsky...an interlibrary loan due today. a kind librarian extended it for 2 more days so i will hopefully be able to finish it and then go back thru solidifying and taking notes on all the good and valuable insights gained. much of his basic schema i find that i have intuitively followed in vocab development so far due to a natural love of etymology but what a feast he has laid. the only way i think the book could have been improved would have been to provide meaning-information on the many, oft-repeated word endings (-isimo would be an example which magnifies whatever root it is attached to, ie. grand-isimo). i do not know enough to know for sure whether that would have a place in a strictly etymological approach, but feel that it would make word recognition much more rapid and widespread. anyway i hope to get this done so i can move to things awaiting.
you already know this is a regular pattern but just to note upfront i am going to blather on about abortion and what i am going to do in response. for all its worth, you might as well skip over it (that is if you've gotten this far :) and go on to the next thing. i've learned that 'talking' and 'going on' about this pressure sort of makes it 'go away' for another little while...
for the first time, over the last few months here, the thot has begun to surface that i might have the opportunity to be the first christian martyr on american soil, in american history. i don't know. possibly there have been others but, if so, have never heard of them. i have thot about how this would be a fitting way to join myself with the over 1 billion human beings that have been consciously murdered...let them consciously murder me outside the womb because i won't stop trying to make it difficult for a woman to murder the person inside her womb. it's obviously a symbolic gesture only but would it not be best to do it in this way?
if some persons go to war against an implacable enemy bent on destroying them how far would they get if every person fighting was not willing to lose his life in destroying the enemy? no! they would be totally destroyed in the attempt to fight and not possibly die in the effort.
the insidious thing about abortion is that no one really believes that the women and those who are supporting/encouraging/'forcing' them and those who are doing the actual murder should be put to death according to law. killing is not an affront to God but premeditated murder is. but no one i know except me believes what God says nor does anyone fear to disregard Him. i do. and i am willing, if need be to fight to the death. i am willing to let them take all my worldly goods. i am willing to refuse to cooperate with them just ignoring God and His commands. the more difficult the better. i want to share in the untold suffering that they inflict.
so how do i proceed? i am to love these enemies because Jesus loves His enemies. even when they are doing their worst against Him He cries to the Father, 'Father! forgive them for they know not what they do'. He says not to take revenge on people who are doing wrong. He says not to resist the evil man but to let him do to you whatever he wants to do without defending yourself and giving him more than what he demands. He tells us not to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good. He says to show mercy (withholding from the evildoer what he deserves in God's sight) with HILARITY (boisterous joy and meriment; rollicking!). so i am to love them by trying to do everything i can to help them while refusing to cooperate with them in the evil they are doing but proclaim God's truth, offer of forgiveness and certainty of eternal judgment.
so how do i go about this? do not do anything to protect myself. do not divest myself of all $ and property but let that all be taken away by the government. when i finish the last little bit of painting to fulfill 2010's 10-hour-a-week quota, just go down early the next friday a.m. to the planned parenthood in warminster and lay down in front of the door, refusing to move...as a symbolic action stating that i cannot draw one more breath without saying, by my non-cooperation, i cannot and will no longer participate in a society that allows the murder of its innocents (let alone promote this around the world). when i do this it would be with the idea that this would become my continuing vocation until either, 1. this is stopped or 2. i can no longer take this symbolic, non-violent, non-cooperative action (because of death). you take me to the police station. you fine me. (i cannot pay that fine.) you put me in prison. if i ever get out, i will immediately go to the nearest place that murders babies and slump in front of the door again. if i am hit or attacked in anyway, i will not defend myself. prison will be my home whenever i am not lying in front of the door of a murdering center. if i am taken to court and given a chance to speak i will share these thots and request that i be given the death penalty.
many times i think i must be crazy because not one person in the world has been willing to lose his or her life to take the side of all the slaughtered, murdered little babies. so i think this must be crazy. i must have heard craziness when i used to hear stories about men diving in front of cars, pushing little children out of harm's way and losing their own life. this craziness must have got on me or in me somewhere. it used to be considered courageous and laudable for a person to be willing to give up their life so that other people's lives would not be threatened or destroyed. maybe they still weep when soldiers come home in coffins. but when it comes to murdered babies no one has done one thing yet to try to save them. i must be crazy, but i want to do that.
i think of all the things that i could do with whatever time God has left for me here on earth and nothing comes anywhere close to this importance...not even close. i think of looking into the eyes of Jesus.. how could i be able to at this point? i don't think it possible.
is everyone called to do this? i don't know! i guess sometime soon we will all find out. maybe everyone is crazy and i am the only sane person alive and in some crazy wacky way this crazy thot i have will miraculously awaken everyone else back into sanity.
hope you have a good week. love, dad
spent today going thru a book, spanish vocabulary: an etymological approach by david brodsky...an interlibrary loan due today. a kind librarian extended it for 2 more days so i will hopefully be able to finish it and then go back thru solidifying and taking notes on all the good and valuable insights gained. much of his basic schema i find that i have intuitively followed in vocab development so far due to a natural love of etymology but what a feast he has laid. the only way i think the book could have been improved would have been to provide meaning-information on the many, oft-repeated word endings (-isimo would be an example which magnifies whatever root it is attached to, ie. grand-isimo). i do not know enough to know for sure whether that would have a place in a strictly etymological approach, but feel that it would make word recognition much more rapid and widespread. anyway i hope to get this done so i can move to things awaiting.
you already know this is a regular pattern but just to note upfront i am going to blather on about abortion and what i am going to do in response. for all its worth, you might as well skip over it (that is if you've gotten this far :) and go on to the next thing. i've learned that 'talking' and 'going on' about this pressure sort of makes it 'go away' for another little while...
for the first time, over the last few months here, the thot has begun to surface that i might have the opportunity to be the first christian martyr on american soil, in american history. i don't know. possibly there have been others but, if so, have never heard of them. i have thot about how this would be a fitting way to join myself with the over 1 billion human beings that have been consciously murdered...let them consciously murder me outside the womb because i won't stop trying to make it difficult for a woman to murder the person inside her womb. it's obviously a symbolic gesture only but would it not be best to do it in this way?
if some persons go to war against an implacable enemy bent on destroying them how far would they get if every person fighting was not willing to lose his life in destroying the enemy? no! they would be totally destroyed in the attempt to fight and not possibly die in the effort.
the insidious thing about abortion is that no one really believes that the women and those who are supporting/encouraging/'forcing' them and those who are doing the actual murder should be put to death according to law. killing is not an affront to God but premeditated murder is. but no one i know except me believes what God says nor does anyone fear to disregard Him. i do. and i am willing, if need be to fight to the death. i am willing to let them take all my worldly goods. i am willing to refuse to cooperate with them just ignoring God and His commands. the more difficult the better. i want to share in the untold suffering that they inflict.
so how do i proceed? i am to love these enemies because Jesus loves His enemies. even when they are doing their worst against Him He cries to the Father, 'Father! forgive them for they know not what they do'. He says not to take revenge on people who are doing wrong. He says not to resist the evil man but to let him do to you whatever he wants to do without defending yourself and giving him more than what he demands. He tells us not to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good. He says to show mercy (withholding from the evildoer what he deserves in God's sight) with HILARITY (boisterous joy and meriment; rollicking!). so i am to love them by trying to do everything i can to help them while refusing to cooperate with them in the evil they are doing but proclaim God's truth, offer of forgiveness and certainty of eternal judgment.
so how do i go about this? do not do anything to protect myself. do not divest myself of all $ and property but let that all be taken away by the government. when i finish the last little bit of painting to fulfill 2010's 10-hour-a-week quota, just go down early the next friday a.m. to the planned parenthood in warminster and lay down in front of the door, refusing to move...as a symbolic action stating that i cannot draw one more breath without saying, by my non-cooperation, i cannot and will no longer participate in a society that allows the murder of its innocents (let alone promote this around the world). when i do this it would be with the idea that this would become my continuing vocation until either, 1. this is stopped or 2. i can no longer take this symbolic, non-violent, non-cooperative action (because of death). you take me to the police station. you fine me. (i cannot pay that fine.) you put me in prison. if i ever get out, i will immediately go to the nearest place that murders babies and slump in front of the door again. if i am hit or attacked in anyway, i will not defend myself. prison will be my home whenever i am not lying in front of the door of a murdering center. if i am taken to court and given a chance to speak i will share these thots and request that i be given the death penalty.
many times i think i must be crazy because not one person in the world has been willing to lose his or her life to take the side of all the slaughtered, murdered little babies. so i think this must be crazy. i must have heard craziness when i used to hear stories about men diving in front of cars, pushing little children out of harm's way and losing their own life. this craziness must have got on me or in me somewhere. it used to be considered courageous and laudable for a person to be willing to give up their life so that other people's lives would not be threatened or destroyed. maybe they still weep when soldiers come home in coffins. but when it comes to murdered babies no one has done one thing yet to try to save them. i must be crazy, but i want to do that.
i think of all the things that i could do with whatever time God has left for me here on earth and nothing comes anywhere close to this importance...not even close. i think of looking into the eyes of Jesus.. how could i be able to at this point? i don't think it possible.
is everyone called to do this? i don't know! i guess sometime soon we will all find out. maybe everyone is crazy and i am the only sane person alive and in some crazy wacky way this crazy thot i have will miraculously awaken everyone else back into sanity.
hope you have a good week. love, dad
Sunday, June 20, 2010
4.20.10 MAYYOU LIVE FOREVER!
greetings! one day away from the official start of summer and it is sweltering as if to say, this summer will be a scorcher. i'm just so glad i'm not in hell. i can take any weather here.
this a.m. went to church straight from a talk with my renter bill, who is in the throes of a nearing divorce and all the swirling, devastating emotions and bitter thots that go along with that. bill keeps saying he is waiting for the end of the suffering and we talked about the fact that suffering will be lifelong. we can either take 'drugs' of every sort to dull the worst edge or we can embrace the suffering that is ubiquitous in and around us. almost universally people, no matter what their profession of faith take the former option.
we talked about God's description of suffering as He reveals it thru the words of paul when he writes in the second letter to the corinthian church, 'we are troubled on every side..perplexed..persecuted..cast down..always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus..for we which lie are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. so then death worketh in us, but life in you...for all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might..redound to the glory of God. for which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. for our LIGHT AFFLICTION, which IS BUT FOR A MOMENT worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we look not at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal (TEMPORARY), but the things which are not seen are eternal'. (4.8f) we talked about how we constantly, in the flesh disagree with what God says. in this case He clearly says to each one of us thru the words of paul, 'don't be upset with pain in your life. no matter how intense it gets, remember, it is light and only for a moment!' (as long as you live physically here on earth you have the ability to call on Me and be rescued from pain that will not only be unendurable but without end) but, yet we keep disagreeing with Truth, for every word that comes from God's mouth is true and everything that contradicts what He says is a lie. so, bill...steve...when you allow the idea, 'this pain i am experiencing is without end, is too heavy to bear' we are in essence calling God a liar.
we considered together the words of paul, just before he was beheaded by nero, to his young 'son', timothy, in the faith...'STIR UP the gift of God, which is in thee (use every ability I have given you to the nth degree for Me every moment you are here..no matter how much pain it entails!)..for God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but BE THOU PARTAKER OF THE AFFICTIONS OF THE GOSPEL...' then after a brief prayer together for help, bill and i stumbled off into another day of pain trying to hold our Father's hand and trust...
i missed 'church' last sunday due to a pressing ministry need in the a.m. and from a wayward, weary heart in the p.m. when i walked in this a.m. so many said 'i missed you' that my cynical heart that attributes such statements to banal religiosity was almost ready to believe it genuine. then they had a special meal for the fathers after meeting and juan, as usual, told me in english what was planned and said, 'are you going to be there?' what could i say...well, the meal yielded a good deal of halting, gaping 'conversation' , a few shared jokes, some good cooking and i went away with a somewhat warmed heart. they even gave each of us a 'gift pack'. mine had smelly shaving cream (real fancykind with a name i couldn't pronounce) and a pair of dress socks (which since i have so many socks i haven't near worn out yet will hopefully find their way to one who truly needs them via the church 'pantry' which distributes item to such) stuffed inside yet another coffee cup (i think i'll keep that and get rid of another as a momento of the special time we had together today. every time gets better and they are most patient with my huge gaps.
i was given a special communication entitled 'bepop' which, though endearing in itself signals the need for a short etymology concerning the name given me just before Silas the First (Grandchild)'s first birthday last year. i had been asked repeatedly by others what i wanted to be called. i didn't know. i briefly surveyed names the flesh felt were humbly fitting such an one as i, such as ohgreatexaltedGRANDfather, etc. but none really hit home as truly fitting one such as i. as i was making a set of three building blocks for silas i had what mom always called a 'brain storm' where it came to me in a flash..pebapadoodle! that was my given name. that was who i am.
let me break the name down into its root and parts.
just as my first name is stephen, the greek word, stephanos, meaning crown is - i am convinced by faith - my real, true nature...
(excursis.. i, in my wicked, sin-filled nature am on the very other end of the spectrum from royalty but BY GOD'S UNIMAGINABLE GRACE He, the king of kings, has made me His son and as such, heir -with Jesus - of all He owns (everything!) i still haven't got my my around who i really am yet but, by faith, He says He will wipe away all my tears, that He has pardoned all my wicked iniquities and deliberate transgressions agains His will...so i trust and wait for the moment when crudcake is remade into stephanos, heir of all things..)
...so the root of pebapadoodle, BABA, comes from the heart of fatherness. what is a father but one who gives life (along with mother), sustains and provides for life and then when the child is independent continues a never ending model of how to live. the divine bapa does all three absolutely perfectly, human fathers who receive any wisdom from Him, imperfectly and stumblingly. this name, bapa, like stephanos marks the ideal of divine fatherhood which should be the continual aspiration and model for every human. earthly progenitors, in the area of modeling can go in at least three paths. some may always have been and remain the perfect model. if this happens it can only happen appearingly for if all were revealed every person falls short of being the way God intended...perfectly like Him. but appearingly, it does happen and even that is a wonderful thing. the second way is to totally fail...meaning to not only fail but to stop trying not to fail. this is a tragedy but it happens... the third is to keep trying, no matter how many times one fails, to do better. the closer to trying to do this, to the very best of one's ability, the better, but in the last analysis there is something to be said for one who never stops, who never gives up. so i, a total failure in every area, am determined not to give up. may God enable me to in this sense BE bapa to those who follow.
the first part, the prefix 'pe' is short for 'pee' as it might occur in the word 'pee wee'. this points out the inescapable fact that i am, seen apart from God's grace disgusting. i think that if the greatest known believer called himself a wretched man many years after meeting Jesus then it is fitting that all the rest of us come somewhere below that description and should keep reminding ourselves (others do not need to be reminded of this. simply watching each other's lives is reminder enough!) of this...especially the prouder ones like myself. so i am first and foremost peewee paine. the word connotes excrement of the liquid nature and is used in england for a cent piece...'of small or little value in itself' might come closest to the core significance.
the final part, the prefix 'doodle' is a reminder of old yankee doodle. before the revolutionary war a british army surgeon penned the first verse of this ditty song (170 verses in all have been found from who knows how many 'authors') when the conscripted americans showed up for armed duty with the british during the french and indian war (1750s) in their mocassins and coonskin hats. what started out as a mockery from the british was taken on by the americans as one of their own theme songs (about themselves) during the time of their armed revolutionary conflict against the british. (here we are, dum dums in your eyes, and we will show you something you did not reckon as possible from us! this ending, 'doodle', is a like personal message to all who hate, despise and discount me...'you haven't seen the end yet'...
hope you have a good week. love, dad
this a.m. went to church straight from a talk with my renter bill, who is in the throes of a nearing divorce and all the swirling, devastating emotions and bitter thots that go along with that. bill keeps saying he is waiting for the end of the suffering and we talked about the fact that suffering will be lifelong. we can either take 'drugs' of every sort to dull the worst edge or we can embrace the suffering that is ubiquitous in and around us. almost universally people, no matter what their profession of faith take the former option.
we talked about God's description of suffering as He reveals it thru the words of paul when he writes in the second letter to the corinthian church, 'we are troubled on every side..perplexed..persecuted..cast down..always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus..for we which lie are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. so then death worketh in us, but life in you...for all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might..redound to the glory of God. for which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. for our LIGHT AFFLICTION, which IS BUT FOR A MOMENT worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we look not at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal (TEMPORARY), but the things which are not seen are eternal'. (4.8f) we talked about how we constantly, in the flesh disagree with what God says. in this case He clearly says to each one of us thru the words of paul, 'don't be upset with pain in your life. no matter how intense it gets, remember, it is light and only for a moment!' (as long as you live physically here on earth you have the ability to call on Me and be rescued from pain that will not only be unendurable but without end) but, yet we keep disagreeing with Truth, for every word that comes from God's mouth is true and everything that contradicts what He says is a lie. so, bill...steve...when you allow the idea, 'this pain i am experiencing is without end, is too heavy to bear' we are in essence calling God a liar.
we considered together the words of paul, just before he was beheaded by nero, to his young 'son', timothy, in the faith...'STIR UP the gift of God, which is in thee (use every ability I have given you to the nth degree for Me every moment you are here..no matter how much pain it entails!)..for God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but BE THOU PARTAKER OF THE AFFICTIONS OF THE GOSPEL...' then after a brief prayer together for help, bill and i stumbled off into another day of pain trying to hold our Father's hand and trust...
i missed 'church' last sunday due to a pressing ministry need in the a.m. and from a wayward, weary heart in the p.m. when i walked in this a.m. so many said 'i missed you' that my cynical heart that attributes such statements to banal religiosity was almost ready to believe it genuine. then they had a special meal for the fathers after meeting and juan, as usual, told me in english what was planned and said, 'are you going to be there?' what could i say...well, the meal yielded a good deal of halting, gaping 'conversation' , a few shared jokes, some good cooking and i went away with a somewhat warmed heart. they even gave each of us a 'gift pack'. mine had smelly shaving cream (real fancykind with a name i couldn't pronounce) and a pair of dress socks (which since i have so many socks i haven't near worn out yet will hopefully find their way to one who truly needs them via the church 'pantry' which distributes item to such) stuffed inside yet another coffee cup (i think i'll keep that and get rid of another as a momento of the special time we had together today. every time gets better and they are most patient with my huge gaps.
i was given a special communication entitled 'bepop' which, though endearing in itself signals the need for a short etymology concerning the name given me just before Silas the First (Grandchild)'s first birthday last year. i had been asked repeatedly by others what i wanted to be called. i didn't know. i briefly surveyed names the flesh felt were humbly fitting such an one as i, such as ohgreatexaltedGRANDfather, etc. but none really hit home as truly fitting one such as i. as i was making a set of three building blocks for silas i had what mom always called a 'brain storm' where it came to me in a flash..pebapadoodle! that was my given name. that was who i am.
let me break the name down into its root and parts.
just as my first name is stephen, the greek word, stephanos, meaning crown is - i am convinced by faith - my real, true nature...
(excursis.. i, in my wicked, sin-filled nature am on the very other end of the spectrum from royalty but BY GOD'S UNIMAGINABLE GRACE He, the king of kings, has made me His son and as such, heir -with Jesus - of all He owns (everything!) i still haven't got my my around who i really am yet but, by faith, He says He will wipe away all my tears, that He has pardoned all my wicked iniquities and deliberate transgressions agains His will...so i trust and wait for the moment when crudcake is remade into stephanos, heir of all things..)
...so the root of pebapadoodle, BABA, comes from the heart of fatherness. what is a father but one who gives life (along with mother), sustains and provides for life and then when the child is independent continues a never ending model of how to live. the divine bapa does all three absolutely perfectly, human fathers who receive any wisdom from Him, imperfectly and stumblingly. this name, bapa, like stephanos marks the ideal of divine fatherhood which should be the continual aspiration and model for every human. earthly progenitors, in the area of modeling can go in at least three paths. some may always have been and remain the perfect model. if this happens it can only happen appearingly for if all were revealed every person falls short of being the way God intended...perfectly like Him. but appearingly, it does happen and even that is a wonderful thing. the second way is to totally fail...meaning to not only fail but to stop trying not to fail. this is a tragedy but it happens... the third is to keep trying, no matter how many times one fails, to do better. the closer to trying to do this, to the very best of one's ability, the better, but in the last analysis there is something to be said for one who never stops, who never gives up. so i, a total failure in every area, am determined not to give up. may God enable me to in this sense BE bapa to those who follow.
the first part, the prefix 'pe' is short for 'pee' as it might occur in the word 'pee wee'. this points out the inescapable fact that i am, seen apart from God's grace disgusting. i think that if the greatest known believer called himself a wretched man many years after meeting Jesus then it is fitting that all the rest of us come somewhere below that description and should keep reminding ourselves (others do not need to be reminded of this. simply watching each other's lives is reminder enough!) of this...especially the prouder ones like myself. so i am first and foremost peewee paine. the word connotes excrement of the liquid nature and is used in england for a cent piece...'of small or little value in itself' might come closest to the core significance.
the final part, the prefix 'doodle' is a reminder of old yankee doodle. before the revolutionary war a british army surgeon penned the first verse of this ditty song (170 verses in all have been found from who knows how many 'authors') when the conscripted americans showed up for armed duty with the british during the french and indian war (1750s) in their mocassins and coonskin hats. what started out as a mockery from the british was taken on by the americans as one of their own theme songs (about themselves) during the time of their armed revolutionary conflict against the british. (here we are, dum dums in your eyes, and we will show you something you did not reckon as possible from us! this ending, 'doodle', is a like personal message to all who hate, despise and discount me...'you haven't seen the end yet'...
hope you have a good week. love, dad
Monday, June 14, 2010
6.14.10 MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER!
greetings in Jesus' precious name!
bred in the bone? janie b. cheaney worldmag, 6.19.10, p.26
..'the moral life of babies, appearing in the new york times magazine last month, outlines extensive study by yale university researchers into the degree that right and wrong is recognized by children as young as a few months. surprisingly or not, overwhelming evidence points to a sense or morality either inborn or developing very early.
the study involved babies being exposed to mini-dramas, both live and on film. two puppets or two shapes were shown either helping or hindering a third character, with the babies encouraged afterward to respond. the youngest subjects were capable of nothing but watching, so their response was measured by how long they looked. but 9- to 12-month-olds could register approval or disapproval in a variety of ways, including punishing the bad actors when they had an opportunity. 'in the enc, writes professor paul bloom, we found that 6- to 10- month-old-infants (in a given study) overwhelmingly preferred the helpful individual to the hindering individual. this wasn't a subtle statistical trend; just about all the babies reached for the good guy'.
reading the story of john birch. a believer in Jesus who was first a missionary in china just before world war II and then was a secret agent for the u.s. military who set up a network behind enemy lines in japanese-occupied china which enabled many downed u.s. pilots to escape capture and death. he was murdered by chinese communists a few days after the war in the east ended in august 1945 as he a 3 others were seeking to exit china. this was covered up by the u.s. state department.
when a child my father strongly supported the john birch society and my political philosophy was much formed by them. they were nearly universally vilified and anyone who was involved with them was generally considered a nut case. my father knew from personal experience that the things john birch had reported about communism and its influence even in the u.s. were true. my father exposed the communist connections of methodist bishop oxnam (sp?) who was in charge of all the u.s. chaplains at the time. dad was, at the time, a chaplain in korea during the korean conflict and oxnam had him removed from his chaplaincy and brought to the military facility at valley forge for the mentally insane and detained there a fair amount of time before finally being released. this is all i know but has been highly formative in who i am and possibly will yet be instrumental in what i will do.
it is interesting, though, about birch. i always thot he was alive while i was growing up in the 1950s and was the founder of the john birch society. however, i now find out, the society - begun after his death - was named in his honor because he typified the extent of power the communists had within the u.s. government. he was a man of great personal courage and tremendous ability, having single-handedly mobilized, in enemy territory a rescue system that saved many downed u.s. pilots from capture and/or death and from all current witnesses who knew and worked with him was universally loved and esteemed by everyone, chinese and american, who had known and worked with and for him. yet, instead of receiving a hero's recognition and many different medals for valor and courage., his death, the circumstances of his death and his contributions were all completely suppressed.
one of the many deep running veins within my inner world that keeps reemerging is that i am to at some point deliberately refuse to continue to support the legalized genocide now rampant worldwide. there are many factors that account for this but it's taproot is the 1960s sexual revolution in the u.s. that has created the ground as well as providing the ongoing nurture for wanton destruction of human life in the service of personal pleasure. worldwide all go on day-by-day acting as though it is acceptable to go on with one's own life in a time when an ongoing genocide of over 1 billion totally innocent people is happening. the emporer's new clothing is not just an interesting story for children but represents real life psychology: every human being has the capacity to totally ignore the occurance something that is totally unacceptable 1. because everyone else seems to be ignoring it too (so it must not really be that bad!), 2. more importantly, to acknowledge it for what it actually is will mean that, a. they will not be able to ignore it anymore but will have to do something about it, and b. that in so doing they will be 'going against' every other living person around...meaning, they are all alone.
currently i know of only a handful of people who have opposed this genocide by violent means which means they have taken vengeance or judgment for this wickedness into their own hands. there are now less than 20 people worldwide - who i have heard of - who have done this. i met a man who wrote to these people and provides an outlet for their voices to reach beyond prison walls in the form of a newsletter skyp (stop killing young people). when i subscribed and started receiving this there were somewhat under 100 subscribers. at the time i was wrestling fitfully with whether this was legitimate for me, as a believer in Jesus Christ, to do myself. it did not take long in reading all that was printed there to see that clearly this was not an option. i saw first that taking personal revenge for wrong doing is not an option. 'do not take your own revenge beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God. for vengeance is Mine. I will repay sayeth the Lord'.
at that time i came to the conclusion that there were only three other options in the face of raw evil, two as a part of a community and one as an individual. as a part of a community there can be the removal of elected officials who support raw evil (in this case, abortion) and putting in their place those who will make this a punishable, illegal offense. it is obvious that this is not happening and, barring developments unseen presently will not happen in the near future.
the second community-based option is called interposition where a local populace -state, county, municipal (!) decides that a certain thing, though generally considered legal is morally intolerable there and their government thus declares that, in this case, no abortions can happen within the confines of their authority (statewide, countywide, municipalwide). this is something that has its roots in the original way that the u.s. was created...as a federation of states - each one totally sovereign from the rest. this has been used throughout the history of the u.s. especially by the southern states leading to the civil war. the civil war, though normally seen as 'good' because slavery was officially ended, was at the same time something that was destructive to political liberty, increasing the encroachment of centralized power we experience today. it would seem that it is two late, historically, for this to take place in the u.s. at this time even if such a unified group of people against abortion could be found. if such a group (statewide, countywide, municipalwide) did emerge i believe their liberty to do so would be violently crushed for the u.s., i believe is no longer, fundamentally, a free nation.
therefore, at this time, that leaves - in my own thinking, i say - only the individual option. we are all, as stated before in the emporers'-new-clothes fantasy, involved in the rationalization of evil here, i believe. the form this reasoning takes with me as a believer in Jesus and the bible is this: i cannot take the law into my own hands. God has instituted governmental authority (romans 13) and therefore i cannot take that authority into my own hands. if everyone did this it would be anarchy. moreover v.2 says clearly 'therefore do not resist authority. for he who resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God and they who have opposed will receive greater condemnation'. so no matter how much government-supported, legal evil is going on around me i must not oppose that and i must continue to support the government and the evil it supports with my taxes. there is a path provided here in the stance: i respect your governmental authority over me but i can no longer support you in this area. i will not resist you but i will not support you either. therefore, do to me as you must, for you are the authority given me by God but i cannot be complicit any longer in this evil. the three hebrew children not bowing before nebuchadnezzar's idol, and peter and john not refraining from proclaiming Jesus would be two examples...as you can see my paroxysms continue...prison keeps calling. may God lead me rightly.
have a good week, love, dad
bred in the bone? janie b. cheaney worldmag, 6.19.10, p.26
..'the moral life of babies, appearing in the new york times magazine last month, outlines extensive study by yale university researchers into the degree that right and wrong is recognized by children as young as a few months. surprisingly or not, overwhelming evidence points to a sense or morality either inborn or developing very early.
the study involved babies being exposed to mini-dramas, both live and on film. two puppets or two shapes were shown either helping or hindering a third character, with the babies encouraged afterward to respond. the youngest subjects were capable of nothing but watching, so their response was measured by how long they looked. but 9- to 12-month-olds could register approval or disapproval in a variety of ways, including punishing the bad actors when they had an opportunity. 'in the enc, writes professor paul bloom, we found that 6- to 10- month-old-infants (in a given study) overwhelmingly preferred the helpful individual to the hindering individual. this wasn't a subtle statistical trend; just about all the babies reached for the good guy'.
reading the story of john birch. a believer in Jesus who was first a missionary in china just before world war II and then was a secret agent for the u.s. military who set up a network behind enemy lines in japanese-occupied china which enabled many downed u.s. pilots to escape capture and death. he was murdered by chinese communists a few days after the war in the east ended in august 1945 as he a 3 others were seeking to exit china. this was covered up by the u.s. state department.
when a child my father strongly supported the john birch society and my political philosophy was much formed by them. they were nearly universally vilified and anyone who was involved with them was generally considered a nut case. my father knew from personal experience that the things john birch had reported about communism and its influence even in the u.s. were true. my father exposed the communist connections of methodist bishop oxnam (sp?) who was in charge of all the u.s. chaplains at the time. dad was, at the time, a chaplain in korea during the korean conflict and oxnam had him removed from his chaplaincy and brought to the military facility at valley forge for the mentally insane and detained there a fair amount of time before finally being released. this is all i know but has been highly formative in who i am and possibly will yet be instrumental in what i will do.
it is interesting, though, about birch. i always thot he was alive while i was growing up in the 1950s and was the founder of the john birch society. however, i now find out, the society - begun after his death - was named in his honor because he typified the extent of power the communists had within the u.s. government. he was a man of great personal courage and tremendous ability, having single-handedly mobilized, in enemy territory a rescue system that saved many downed u.s. pilots from capture and/or death and from all current witnesses who knew and worked with him was universally loved and esteemed by everyone, chinese and american, who had known and worked with and for him. yet, instead of receiving a hero's recognition and many different medals for valor and courage., his death, the circumstances of his death and his contributions were all completely suppressed.
one of the many deep running veins within my inner world that keeps reemerging is that i am to at some point deliberately refuse to continue to support the legalized genocide now rampant worldwide. there are many factors that account for this but it's taproot is the 1960s sexual revolution in the u.s. that has created the ground as well as providing the ongoing nurture for wanton destruction of human life in the service of personal pleasure. worldwide all go on day-by-day acting as though it is acceptable to go on with one's own life in a time when an ongoing genocide of over 1 billion totally innocent people is happening. the emporer's new clothing is not just an interesting story for children but represents real life psychology: every human being has the capacity to totally ignore the occurance something that is totally unacceptable 1. because everyone else seems to be ignoring it too (so it must not really be that bad!), 2. more importantly, to acknowledge it for what it actually is will mean that, a. they will not be able to ignore it anymore but will have to do something about it, and b. that in so doing they will be 'going against' every other living person around...meaning, they are all alone.
currently i know of only a handful of people who have opposed this genocide by violent means which means they have taken vengeance or judgment for this wickedness into their own hands. there are now less than 20 people worldwide - who i have heard of - who have done this. i met a man who wrote to these people and provides an outlet for their voices to reach beyond prison walls in the form of a newsletter skyp (stop killing young people). when i subscribed and started receiving this there were somewhat under 100 subscribers. at the time i was wrestling fitfully with whether this was legitimate for me, as a believer in Jesus Christ, to do myself. it did not take long in reading all that was printed there to see that clearly this was not an option. i saw first that taking personal revenge for wrong doing is not an option. 'do not take your own revenge beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God. for vengeance is Mine. I will repay sayeth the Lord'.
at that time i came to the conclusion that there were only three other options in the face of raw evil, two as a part of a community and one as an individual. as a part of a community there can be the removal of elected officials who support raw evil (in this case, abortion) and putting in their place those who will make this a punishable, illegal offense. it is obvious that this is not happening and, barring developments unseen presently will not happen in the near future.
the second community-based option is called interposition where a local populace -state, county, municipal (!) decides that a certain thing, though generally considered legal is morally intolerable there and their government thus declares that, in this case, no abortions can happen within the confines of their authority (statewide, countywide, municipalwide). this is something that has its roots in the original way that the u.s. was created...as a federation of states - each one totally sovereign from the rest. this has been used throughout the history of the u.s. especially by the southern states leading to the civil war. the civil war, though normally seen as 'good' because slavery was officially ended, was at the same time something that was destructive to political liberty, increasing the encroachment of centralized power we experience today. it would seem that it is two late, historically, for this to take place in the u.s. at this time even if such a unified group of people against abortion could be found. if such a group (statewide, countywide, municipalwide) did emerge i believe their liberty to do so would be violently crushed for the u.s., i believe is no longer, fundamentally, a free nation.
therefore, at this time, that leaves - in my own thinking, i say - only the individual option. we are all, as stated before in the emporers'-new-clothes fantasy, involved in the rationalization of evil here, i believe. the form this reasoning takes with me as a believer in Jesus and the bible is this: i cannot take the law into my own hands. God has instituted governmental authority (romans 13) and therefore i cannot take that authority into my own hands. if everyone did this it would be anarchy. moreover v.2 says clearly 'therefore do not resist authority. for he who resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God and they who have opposed will receive greater condemnation'. so no matter how much government-supported, legal evil is going on around me i must not oppose that and i must continue to support the government and the evil it supports with my taxes. there is a path provided here in the stance: i respect your governmental authority over me but i can no longer support you in this area. i will not resist you but i will not support you either. therefore, do to me as you must, for you are the authority given me by God but i cannot be complicit any longer in this evil. the three hebrew children not bowing before nebuchadnezzar's idol, and peter and john not refraining from proclaiming Jesus would be two examples...as you can see my paroxysms continue...prison keeps calling. may God lead me rightly.
have a good week, love, dad
Sunday, June 6, 2010
6.6.10 MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER!
hi. i long for heaven. it will be so good to be able to be with Jesus. i remember the days of singing an old hymn which includes the words 'more freedom from earth stains more longings for home' and God, as in innumerable other instances, is answering my prayer by, with each prayer, sowing little tiny seeds within my being that are like little time-elapsed pictures in reality of words addressed to Him...the blessed Answerer of prayer.
just had another instance. as with so many was secretly irritated and judgmental and and determined not to do x in regard to a certain individual. then God showed me a glimpse of all that they are going thru and all that they are suffering...and once again melted my wicked hardened heart...where would i be without His so gentle reproofs. also this am He gave me such a melting and brought some more little truth-seeds to life. all i can say is that He put such a love in my heart toward the people at mision. oh may i have that love for Him that would move me to give my all to Him without any wretched me involved, without measure, beyond my ability.
got a book thru interlibrary loan, spanish vocabulary, an etymological approach by david brodsky today. i hope to absorb as much as possible of it in the next 3 weeks which may be shaping up to be extremely busy and challenging. may God bless and increase my understanding far beyond what would be humanly possible to the end His love may flow thru mouth and life to spanish-speaking people whose lives He leads me next to.
picked up the biography of john birch who was a missionary to and u.s. soldier involved in military intellegence in china. he was killed by the chinese communists in 1945. right now i am experiencing a strong desire to read of people who gave their lives for God. also at night am pecking thru john hus of bohemia who was martyed by the catholic church in the early 1400s.
am also experiencing an uptick of interest in music which had gone absolutely dead. happened to hear some exquisitely beautiful songs about the emptiness of the material, the tang of the spiritual on xtu on the way home a few nights ago..things that were written and sung by people who may not see Jesus as God, as the Way...but things that lavishly poured over my spirit with the refreshment of Jesus!
was moved to inquire about a needed language worker in the indian regions of canada. i am premature, too eagar, not thotful and prayerful enough. may God save me from my impetuosity.
rebuking people is never going to get easy. we all hate to have our darkness shown for what it is. sometimes, though, there is a glint of light and satisfaction in the stupifying darkness and pain involved in relating to others spiritually. just had one this week were God made some beautiful changes in a home. may You continue to rebuke me Lord, with or without human mediation. help me be willing to suffer as You did for speaking truth. just came to verse 24 yesterday in chapter one as i am memorizing colossians and it was so timely and loaded with grace in a time of continual struggle to maintain constant rebuke wherever am impressed it is needed...i paul..rejoice in my sufferings for you and fill up that which is lacking in the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for His body's sake, which is the church...had a blessed brother rebuke my gluttony. would that i were surrounded by a multitude of such rebuking brothers and sisters. may i be such an one to everyone i see sin.
because of the press right now of what i deem God's appointments am starving for time alone with God. one of the few times i was able to just be before Him this week He impressed II cor. 12.10 on me.. a messenger of satan (some indeterminate physical difficulty) was sent to paul to buffet him. he asked if it could be taken away. the Lord answered, 'My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness' and He evidently gave grace (spiritual strength) for paul says, 'most gladly therefore will i rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. therefore I TAKE PLEASURE IN infirmities, reproaches (insults), , in necessities (agonies literally), in persecutions (being pursued with the purpose of destrution), in distresses (literally, narrowings..being squeezed and opposed and limited)'. then he gives the universal spiritual principle in this area: WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN AM I STRONG. may God sow this seed in my heart so that rather than self-protect i dive, naked and flaccid off into the inky black at His command. especially make me embrace, well-pleased, every insult. may it have the charm of a most-desired-one's kiss...that i may be joined with Your suffering!
one of the many spiritual dysfunctions is a deep taproot of what i might call an 'orphan spirit'. i have a deep sense of what seems at times universal rejection. another of the many God-snippets this week is having the deep impression in spirit that with downcast eyes and 'poor, rejected, unworthy me' He gently put His gentle finger under my chin and lovingly raise my eyes up to His beaming-with-love eyes...'You are My son. You are welcomed in, fully accepted, in possession of all I possess'. rich, loved me..
another seed bearing life...sense a life developing within me of full personhood. i'm not just some insignificant blob seeking significance or love or esteem or acceptance from another rotten sinner like myself. i already have them all in You.
by experiencing the pain and humiliation of having a suggestion carelessly dismissed...Lord, may i not do the same to another.
by the ache of being treated more shabbily than the next one..Lord, help me be even with everyone, not 'intimate and chummy' with one and distant and dismissive with another.
from hudson taylor...
'had our Lord appeared on earth as an angel of light, He would doubtless have inspi8red far more awe and reverence and would have collected together even larger multitudes to attend his ministry. but to save man he vecame man, not merely like man, but very man...in language, in costume, in everything unsinful, He made himself one with those he sought to benefit.
had he been born a noble roman, rather than a jew, he would, perhaps, if less loved, have commanded more of a certain kind of respect; and he would assuredly thereby have been spared much indignityto which he was subjected. this, however, was not His aim; He emptied Himself. surely no follower of the meek and lowly Jesus will be likely to conclude that it is 'beneath the dignity of a christian missionary' to seek identification with this poor people, in the hope that he may see them washed, sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God!
i am not peculiar in holding the opinion that the foreign dress and carriage of missionaries - to a certain extent affected by some of their converts and pupils - the foreign appearance of the chapels and, indeed, the foreign air given to everything connected with religion, have very largely hindered the rapid dissemination of the truth among the chinese. but why should such a foreign aspect be given to christianity? the word of god does not require it, nor, i conceive, could sound reason justify it'.
taylor believed 'in the wisdom, as well as the blessedness, of literally obeying the Scriptures' and was prepared to stake his all upon them. note: may God give to me the same blessed modus operandi.
'the believer does not need to wait until he sees the reason of god's afflictive dealings with him ere he is satisfied; he KNOWS that all things work together for good to them that love god; that all God's dealings are those of a loving Father, who only permits that which for the time being is grievous in order to accomplish results that cannot be achieved in any less painful way. the wise and trustful child of God rejoices in tribulation... our heavenly Father delights to trust a trustworthy child with a trial in which he can bring glory to God and tru which he will receive permanent enlargement of heart and blessing for himself and others'.
it is said that there was no attitude he more rejoiced to adopt than that of a trustful child.
true christian life always begins where the life of Christ ended, at the cross..its true development is towards the cradle..
hope you have a good week. love, dad
just had another instance. as with so many was secretly irritated and judgmental and and determined not to do x in regard to a certain individual. then God showed me a glimpse of all that they are going thru and all that they are suffering...and once again melted my wicked hardened heart...where would i be without His so gentle reproofs. also this am He gave me such a melting and brought some more little truth-seeds to life. all i can say is that He put such a love in my heart toward the people at mision. oh may i have that love for Him that would move me to give my all to Him without any wretched me involved, without measure, beyond my ability.
got a book thru interlibrary loan, spanish vocabulary, an etymological approach by david brodsky today. i hope to absorb as much as possible of it in the next 3 weeks which may be shaping up to be extremely busy and challenging. may God bless and increase my understanding far beyond what would be humanly possible to the end His love may flow thru mouth and life to spanish-speaking people whose lives He leads me next to.
picked up the biography of john birch who was a missionary to and u.s. soldier involved in military intellegence in china. he was killed by the chinese communists in 1945. right now i am experiencing a strong desire to read of people who gave their lives for God. also at night am pecking thru john hus of bohemia who was martyed by the catholic church in the early 1400s.
am also experiencing an uptick of interest in music which had gone absolutely dead. happened to hear some exquisitely beautiful songs about the emptiness of the material, the tang of the spiritual on xtu on the way home a few nights ago..things that were written and sung by people who may not see Jesus as God, as the Way...but things that lavishly poured over my spirit with the refreshment of Jesus!
was moved to inquire about a needed language worker in the indian regions of canada. i am premature, too eagar, not thotful and prayerful enough. may God save me from my impetuosity.
rebuking people is never going to get easy. we all hate to have our darkness shown for what it is. sometimes, though, there is a glint of light and satisfaction in the stupifying darkness and pain involved in relating to others spiritually. just had one this week were God made some beautiful changes in a home. may You continue to rebuke me Lord, with or without human mediation. help me be willing to suffer as You did for speaking truth. just came to verse 24 yesterday in chapter one as i am memorizing colossians and it was so timely and loaded with grace in a time of continual struggle to maintain constant rebuke wherever am impressed it is needed...i paul..rejoice in my sufferings for you and fill up that which is lacking in the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for His body's sake, which is the church...had a blessed brother rebuke my gluttony. would that i were surrounded by a multitude of such rebuking brothers and sisters. may i be such an one to everyone i see sin.
because of the press right now of what i deem God's appointments am starving for time alone with God. one of the few times i was able to just be before Him this week He impressed II cor. 12.10 on me.. a messenger of satan (some indeterminate physical difficulty) was sent to paul to buffet him. he asked if it could be taken away. the Lord answered, 'My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness' and He evidently gave grace (spiritual strength) for paul says, 'most gladly therefore will i rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. therefore I TAKE PLEASURE IN infirmities, reproaches (insults), , in necessities (agonies literally), in persecutions (being pursued with the purpose of destrution), in distresses (literally, narrowings..being squeezed and opposed and limited)'. then he gives the universal spiritual principle in this area: WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN AM I STRONG. may God sow this seed in my heart so that rather than self-protect i dive, naked and flaccid off into the inky black at His command. especially make me embrace, well-pleased, every insult. may it have the charm of a most-desired-one's kiss...that i may be joined with Your suffering!
one of the many spiritual dysfunctions is a deep taproot of what i might call an 'orphan spirit'. i have a deep sense of what seems at times universal rejection. another of the many God-snippets this week is having the deep impression in spirit that with downcast eyes and 'poor, rejected, unworthy me' He gently put His gentle finger under my chin and lovingly raise my eyes up to His beaming-with-love eyes...'You are My son. You are welcomed in, fully accepted, in possession of all I possess'. rich, loved me..
another seed bearing life...sense a life developing within me of full personhood. i'm not just some insignificant blob seeking significance or love or esteem or acceptance from another rotten sinner like myself. i already have them all in You.
by experiencing the pain and humiliation of having a suggestion carelessly dismissed...Lord, may i not do the same to another.
by the ache of being treated more shabbily than the next one..Lord, help me be even with everyone, not 'intimate and chummy' with one and distant and dismissive with another.
from hudson taylor...
'had our Lord appeared on earth as an angel of light, He would doubtless have inspi8red far more awe and reverence and would have collected together even larger multitudes to attend his ministry. but to save man he vecame man, not merely like man, but very man...in language, in costume, in everything unsinful, He made himself one with those he sought to benefit.
had he been born a noble roman, rather than a jew, he would, perhaps, if less loved, have commanded more of a certain kind of respect; and he would assuredly thereby have been spared much indignityto which he was subjected. this, however, was not His aim; He emptied Himself. surely no follower of the meek and lowly Jesus will be likely to conclude that it is 'beneath the dignity of a christian missionary' to seek identification with this poor people, in the hope that he may see them washed, sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God!
i am not peculiar in holding the opinion that the foreign dress and carriage of missionaries - to a certain extent affected by some of their converts and pupils - the foreign appearance of the chapels and, indeed, the foreign air given to everything connected with religion, have very largely hindered the rapid dissemination of the truth among the chinese. but why should such a foreign aspect be given to christianity? the word of god does not require it, nor, i conceive, could sound reason justify it'.
taylor believed 'in the wisdom, as well as the blessedness, of literally obeying the Scriptures' and was prepared to stake his all upon them. note: may God give to me the same blessed modus operandi.
'the believer does not need to wait until he sees the reason of god's afflictive dealings with him ere he is satisfied; he KNOWS that all things work together for good to them that love god; that all God's dealings are those of a loving Father, who only permits that which for the time being is grievous in order to accomplish results that cannot be achieved in any less painful way. the wise and trustful child of God rejoices in tribulation... our heavenly Father delights to trust a trustworthy child with a trial in which he can bring glory to God and tru which he will receive permanent enlargement of heart and blessing for himself and others'.
it is said that there was no attitude he more rejoiced to adopt than that of a trustful child.
true christian life always begins where the life of Christ ended, at the cross..its true development is towards the cradle..
hope you have a good week. love, dad
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