6.30.09 DO I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT?

do the following accurately describe me?

1. if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. I timothy 6.8
2. owe no man anything. romans 13.8
3. everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house upon the rock..and the rain descended and the floods came and the winds blew and burst against that house and yet it did not fall for it had been founded upon the rock. matthew 7.24-5 (oh Lord would You give me a new heart..put a new spirit within me..remove the heart of stone from my flesh..give me a heart of flesh..put Your Spirit within me..cause me to walk in Your statutes..and be careful to observe Your ordinances! right now i am so cast down in spirit..have so little faith..look at these words as lifeless things. oh breathe Your life into me Lord.)

Lord, You say that if i have food and covering that i should be content with that. You go on..'but those who WANT TO GET RICH (have more than what is absolutely necessary for life?) fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction' I timothy 6.9. that's where i am now Lord. oh Lord, i long to be free. would You create within a heart that simply trusts and obeys Your word?

but i don't want to be rich. i am rich and desperately want to stay that way. i don't want to be utterly dependent upon You. please change my heart and cause me to observe You ordinances to the rich..'instruct THOSE WHO ARE RICH in this present world:
1. NOT TO BE CONCEITED...a compound word - high + minded..superior to others. do i think of myself as better than others? i'm sure i'm saturated with such thot. help me, on my part, to 'be of the same mind toward one another, do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. (or in my case, with those who i view as thinking themselves better than me) do not be wise in your own estimation. romans 12.16
2. OR TO FIX THEIR HOPE ON THE UNCERTAINTY OF RICHES. oh Lord CHANGE my heart to not put any trust in $ or things that equal $ or on men who can give me $ or on my ability to get $.
3. BUT ON GOD oh Lord help me to entrust myself completely to Your provision!!!!!! help me look only to You WHO RICHLY SUPPLIES US WITH ALL THINGS TO ENJOY.
4. help me DO GOOD, to make myself useful (do You show me a need someone has? do i seek Your guidance as to how to meet that need?) to those i come in contact with..to seek to do what will truly help and benefit them in such a way that seeing my good works they may glorify You, my Father in heaven.
5. BE RICH IN GOOD WORKS reaping the benefit of what You have moved me to do for did You not say it is more blessed to give than to receive?
6. TO BE GENEROUS this is a neat word, three parts (when the vowel sound is long i will capitalize) transliterated U-meta-dotUs. U means good, well..meta is with and then comes the verb to give...so, literally goodwithgiving and has the idea in it of giving in such a way that i may be with those i am giving to and they may be with me. hospitality? fixing a broken door rather than sending a check? asking their help and then blessing them in some way that will meet their need that You have revealed?...i don't know...please teach me what You are getting at here.
7. AND READY TO SHARE..the common word for fellowship, koynOnia, one of the key things that should mark the relationship between people in the Church. here it seems to be used more generally. possibly You are saying that when i give it should not be in a detached way but in a very deep, 'attached' way..going rather than sending a check...i don't know Lord. i'm groping for Your heart. You didn't send some substitute miracle worker but came into a hostile world as a vulnerable one who could do no harm but only good. i remember Your focus is first on the Church..'while we have opportunity, let us do good to all men and especially to those who are of the household of the faith ' galatians 6.10
8. STORING UP FOR THEMSELVES THE TREASURE OF A GOOD FOUNDATION FOR THE FUTURE, SO THAT THEY MAY TAKE HOLD OF THAT WHICH IS LIFE INDEED. 'good foundation' has the idea of excellent stock for the time to come, a solid and stable possession, a capital sum invested and thus laid up for the future.