'little children, guard yourselves from idols' I john 5.21
this week has been a war against the idol 'ray'.
this is not a person,
for we wrestle not against flesh and blood
but against rulers,
against the powers,
against the world forces of this darkness,
against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places (ephesians 6.12).
it is a 'golden lie'.
it is the temptation to trust something other that God alone.
this last week i have been largely without conscious prayer.
it is like someone flicked a switch.
yet i am not abandoned for God says, '..be content...for He Himself has said,
'I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you'. hebrews 13.5
Hallelujah.
I. decided to go through another section of psalm 119 starting out this morning.
came to vs. 126-8 and could not understand them.
to that point i had gotten nothing.
finally, decided to read spurgeon's treasury of david on this section.
126 'it is time for the Lord to act.
for they have broken Thy law.
127 THEREFORE i love Thy commandments
above gold, yes, above fine gold.
128 THEREFORE i esteem right all Thy precepts concerning everything,
i hate every false way.'
2. the words 'it is time for the Lord to act' v126
became connected with the 'therefore' in v127
(and later, with the 'therefore' in v128).
times were bad.
men were being wicked.
rather than wilt, rather than judge and condemn, rather than fear,
the psalmist decided to take a new resolve:
to be openly and unashamedly and completely on the side of God and His word.
-i LOVE Thy commandments above all else. not only that,
-i esteem RIGHT
ALL Thy precepts
concerning EVERYTHING.
-i HATE EVERY false way.
as a good example always does much to encouraged another,
i was duly encouraged by David's heart choices here
and make the same choices as he.
3. then i turned to my reading of ezekiel SLOWLY AND PRAYERFULLY.
(what are You saying to me Lord?)
today's portion was to be chapters 26-8.
i got to 27.19 (more tonight when i go home)
the three chapters are talking about God's judgment of tyre, a renowned, busy seaport just north of israel.
my mind kept pointing me back to
26.5 'she (tyre) will be a place for the spreading of nets in the midst of the sea..
and she will become spoil for the nations.
and v14 'and I will make you (tyre) a bare rock;
you will be a place for the spreading of nets.
you will be build no more..'
my mind focused on NO MORE. (i have heard that it is still a bare rock)
then i remembered that the Lord had prophesied some similar things that He would do to babylon.
i found them in the book of jeremiah.
25.12 'then it will be when 70 years are completed
(the jews exiled to babylon were released 70 years after arriving there)
I will punish the king of babylon and that nation for their iniquity
(they were destroyed by the medes and the persians)
and the land of the of the chaldeans (babylonians)
and i will make it an EVERLASTING DEVASTATION.
(the site on which babylon stood is still wasteland)
50.39f 'therefore the desert creatures will live there along with the jackals;
the ostriches also will live in it,
and it will NEVER AGAIN BE INHABITED
or dwelt in from generation to generation
as when God overthrew sodom and gomorrah with its neighbors..
no man will live there,
nor will any son of man reside in it.
then i happened to notice the reason given by God for His judgment of babylon
jeremiah 51.7 babylon has been a golden cup in the hand of the Lord
intoxicating all the earth.
the nations have drunk of her wine;
therefore the nations are going mad.
i thought of america where i live, constantly, polluting the whole world with immorality, greed, genocide and war...
i thought of how little i have done because i will not sell out completely to obey God (like david talked of)...and live openly, unashamedly, completely obedient to His words.
i looked back at the reason given by God for His judgment of tyre. in eze. 26.2 He said to ezekiel,
'son of man, because tyre has said concerning jerusalem,
'aha, the gateway of the peoples is broken;
it has opened to me.
i shall be filled,
now that she is laid waste.
i thought of how i assiduously
(constant, unrelenting)
earthly ease and security for myself while untold people around me are a breath away from hell.
why should not i be eternally condemned for focus on self with no real concern for those around me?
4. then i was struck by the vast difference between the above punishments and God's treatment of Israel and Judah in jeremiah 51.5,
'for neither israel nor judah has been forsaken
by his God, the Lord of hosts;
although their land is full of guilt
before the Holy One of israel.
5. at that point i remembered the word 'survivor' as applied to judah, currently under the judgment of God and decided to consult strong's concordance.
the hebrew verb, palet, in one form is used often of david in the psalms with the sense, 'trust (as a fugitive?), deliver (as a fugitive)'
(17.13; 18.2,43,48; 22.4,8; 31.1; 37.40; 40.17; 43.1; 71.2,4; 82.4; 91.14; 144.2)
and in another form is used with the idea of 'escaped one, fugitive'
the first occurrence is in judges where the tribe of benjamin was nearly annihilated by the other tribes. after the fight there were only 400 men left.
the elders of israel said,
'what shall we do for wives for those who are left, since the women are destroyed out of benjamin?
21.17 and they said, 'there must be an inheritance for the SURVIVORS of benjamin, that a tribe may not be blotted out from israel'.
in other words the word is used in the context of 'israel CANNOT perish (any tribe even).
the next is in II kings 19.31 where isaiah gives answer to hezekiah after God has heard his prayer for deliverance in the face of a massive, hostile assyrian army at the gates of jerusalem,
'and the surviving remnant of the house of judah shall again
take root downward and
bear fruit upward.
for out of jerusalem
shall go forth a remnant
and out of mount zion SURVIVORS.
the zeal of the Lord shall perform this. (recounted in isaiah 37.32)
v35f 'then it happened that night that the angel of the Lord went out, and struck 185,000 in the camp of the assyrians; and when men rose early in the morning, behold, all of them were dead. so sennacherib king of assyria departed and...as he was worshipping in the house of nisroch his god, that adrammelech and sharezer killed him with the sword...
next, isaiah 4.2,
'in that day the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious and the fruit of the earth will be the pride and the adornment of the SURVIVORS of israel.'
isaiah 66.18f 'for I know their works and their thoughts;
the time is coming to gather all nations and tongues.
and they shall come and see My glory.
and I will set a sign among them
and will send SURVIVORS from them to the nations..
to the distant coastlands that have neither heard my fame nor seen My glory.
and they will declare My glory to the nations.
then they shall bring all your brethren
from all the nations
as a grain offering to the Lord,
on horses, in chariots, in litters, on mules and on camels,
to My holy mountain Jerusalem....
ezekiel 7.15f (foretelling the destruction of jerusalem by babylon)
'the sword is outside and the plague and the famine are within.
he who is in the field will die by the sword;
famine and the plague will also consume those in the city.
even when their SURVIVORS escape,
they will be on the mountains like doves of the valleys,
ALL OF THE MOURNING
EACH OVER HIS OWN INIQUITY.
all hands will hang limp
and all knees will become like water.
and they will gird themselves with sackcloth,
and shuddering will overwhelm them;
and shame will be on all faces,
and baldness on all their heads.
and they shall fling their silver into the streets
and their gold shall become an abhorrent thing...
they cannot satisfy their appetite,
nor can they fill their stomachs,
for their iniquity has become an occasion of stumbling.
ezekiel 14.20f (foretelling the destruction of jerusalem by babylon)
even though noah, daniel, and job were in its midst..
they could not deliver either their son or their daughter.
they would deliver only themselves by their righteousness.
for thus says the Lord God,
how much more when I send My four severe judgments against jerusalem:
sword, famine, wild beasts, and plague to cut off man and beast from it!
YET, BEHOLD, SURVIVORS
will be left in it (!)
who will be brought out,
both sons and daughters.
behold they are going to come forth to you
(ezekiel and the jews in captivity in babylon)
and you will see their conduct and actions;
then you will be comforted for the calamity
which i have brought against jerusalem
for everything which I have brought upon it.
then they will comfort you
when you see their conduct and actions,
for you will know
that I have not done in vain
whatever i did to it,
declares the Lord God.
this amazing grace of God to the SURVIVORS, both at the past destruction of jerusalem by babylon and in the yet coming deliverance of jerusalem from a whole world gathered together to destroy her once for all..spoken of in the above passages,
is confirmed by the apostle paul in romans 11.25f,
'for i do not want you, brethren, to be uninformed of this mystery,
lest you be wise in your own estimation,
that a partial hardening has happened to (racial) israel
until the fullness of the gentiles has come in
and thus ALL (SURVIVORS of racial) israel will be saved;
just as it is written,
'the deliverer will come from zion,
He will remove ungodliness from jacob.
and this is My covenant with them,
when I take away their sins.
...all one can say is AMAZING GRACE all around,
not one of the jews deserve it,
not one of the gentiles deserve it, especially me..
6.(i have continued to struggle mightily (it doesn't look mighty from within or without) against the subtle, seductive honied strains of the pied pip0eer in my mind promising PROVISION for my needs if i would just bow down and worship the god of 'ray'..if i would just give my life to, if i would just do what he says...)
then my mind went to the words of Jesus in luke 16 with 'many are those who enter' destruction (matthew 7.13) and 'many will seek to enter (the narrow door that leads to heaven) and will not be able' (luke 13.24) playing in my mind. help me come and die Lord!
luke 16.13 (Jesus speaking)
'no servant can serve two masters;
for either he will hate the one and love the other
or else he will hold to the one and despise the other.
you cannot serve God and mammon.
v14 now the pharisees,
who were lovers of money,
were listening to these things
and were scoffing at Him.
v15 and He said TO THEM,
'you are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men,
but God knows your hearts;
for that which is HIGHLY ESTEEMED among men
is DETESTABLE
bdelugma - arousing or meriting intense dislike;
in the sight of God.
V16 the law and the prophets were proclaimed until john (the baptist..just recently)
since then the gospel of the kingdom of God is preached,
and everyone is forcing his way into it.
v17 but it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away
than for one stroke
(a tiny projection from some of the hebrew letters that gave them their unique meaning)
of a letter of the law to fail.
everyone of us has a choice
to serve money and the things it buys
or to serve Jesus Christ.
what He commands He means.
not the smallest part of a letter,
let alone a word,
a sentence
or their meaning
will ever change.
i fear men too much.
men will do anything to avoid confronting their real need before God, crying out to Him and following Him faithfully to the consternation of other men. far better to fear God and see the stink of thinking the way most human beings think.
that means further ostracization and possibly more.
Lord, if i could only see clearly
and clearly covet only Your smile,
only to please You
though i be rejected by all me...
that is my desire...
back full circle to psalm 119.128..i HATE EVERY FALSE WAY.
(kjv for DETESTABLE reads AN ABOMINATION - HATED, loathed intensely)
then my thoughts turned to getting 54 fixed up and sold ASAP...oh Lord i come to You, the God of the impossible. so help me God...I WILL DO IT...
Friday, December 14, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
12.12.2012 HOMOSEXUALITY AND CHANGE: IS IT POSSIBLE?
the following article is in the winter 2012 harvest news, a publication by harvest USA.
HARVEST USA i a faith operated ministry.
most of our work is given freely or at low cost.
we are supported entirely by churches and individuals who are convinced of our mission.
our mission is to partner with and equip the church in bringing the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to transform the lives of those affected by sexual struggles and sin.
proclaiming Christ as Lord to a sexually broken world
equipping the church to minister to sexually broken people
the article is written by david white
'i love children.
i've always wanted a family.
i just can't imagine myself ever getting married.
i mean, how would sex even work
i don't think this is working'.
'frank' shook his head and threw up his hands in exasperation.
a christian man in his 30s, wrestling with same-sex attraction (SSA),
he was beaten down by the relentlessness of his temptation and his seeming inability to change.
like most men and women struggling with SSA,
frank hoped coming to harvest USA would translate into deliverance from his homosexual desires.
for him, defeating SSA meant
eradicating ongoing homosexual temptation and essentially becoming heterosexual.
this is what change means for many people and anything short of that feels like a 'bait and switch'.
first, we need to acknowledge that the ongoing, persistent nature of a struggle with SSA is very hared for those who desire to follow God's word regarding His design for sexuality.
for the vast majority of men and women, it will be a lifelong experience in this fallen world.
it is a unique and, at times, excruciating cross they are called to bear,
but it is not a hopeless journey.
for it is there, in that struggle, that God wants to meet them.
(for a fuller description of how god uses our battles with temptation for our good and His glory,
please see my prior harvest news article, 'suffering with temptation at harvestusa.org;
click on Resources/Articles/Same-Sex Attraction).
conflicting views of change
in our culture there is a cacophony of voices expressing radically divergent perspectives on change.
because the media shouts the loudest,
a growing number of people have adopted the view that SSA is 'inborn and unchangeable'.
after all, no one ever asked to have SSA.
the desires come unbidden and they stubbornly persist.
it is never a conscious choice.
although direct genetic and/or physiological origins have never been scientifically proven,
the spirit of the age insistently asserts that altering sexual orientation
is as futile as trying to change skin color.
it is argued that the very attempt is psychologically harmful,
so california recently made it illegal for therapists to talk to teenagers about the possibility of change.
sadly, even the church's voice has too frequently been unhelpful.
to begin with, homosexuality is often viewed as particularly abhorrent
and far more broken than heterosexual brokenness.
further, some christians act like SSA is simply a chosen 'life style' that can be easily deselected.
perhaps more pervasive is a triumphalist christianity that suggests
any significant sin struggle is easily overcome as long as someone has enough faith.
this is why i tend to cringe at the typical church testimony,
'my life was a mess, but then i got saved and now everything is grand!'
anything short of painless, temptation free, easy obedience
is chalked up to an individual's failure to really believe,
as if our journey in this life is a gentle sunday stroll to heaven.
finally, most people (particularly those who struggle with the issue)
see change as nothing less than the utter eradication of their SSA,
coupled with a big boost in heterosexual desire.
mistakenly, they believe that ultimate change means
a traditional marriage,
children,
a house in the burbs with a white picket fence and
eventually grandchildren.
there is an understandable longing to find relief
from the unwanted attraction and the ongoing temptation,
but this expectation goes far beyond the promises of the bible.
how can we sort through all these dissonant voices?
re-aligning the focus
since freud, our culture has placed an inordinate focus on our sexuality.
so many women wrestle with body image because they are programmed to believe
that sex appeal is one of the most important aspects of their person.
in this environment, it's not surprising that people
build their fundamental identity around their sexuality.
this is not what it means to be human.
the bible gives us two primary categories for identity formation,
tied to the reality that we are body and spirit.
first, we are created as God's 'image bearers', either male or female,
and second, we are either 'in Christ' or not.
perhaps this sounds overly simple, but to be 'in Christ' means
to be an adopted child of God,
an heir to His eternal kingdom.
our identity is completely bound up in Him-
this union with Him is both foundational and of infinitely greater worth
than what our culture proclaims is our sexual 'orientation'.
a biblical anthropology does not recognize 'sexual orintation' as a core identity marker.
this is why i am very concerned by the growing number of Christians who
uphold biblical sexual morality in practice,
but maintain the identity of a 'celibate, gay christian'.
God doesn't want our identity wrapped up in
the broken places of our humanity,
but in the glorious redemption that is ours in Christ!
men and women coming for ministry to harvest USA
are always surprised by how little we talk about sex.
seriously.
why?
for us the issue is not sexual orientation;
we're not in the business of making people 'straight'.
for 30 years, our focus has always been the gospel-
that God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ, not counting our sins against us.
('for the love of Christ controls us,
having concluded this,
that one died for all,
therefore all died;
and He died for all,
that they who live should no longer live for themselves but
for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
therefore from now on we recognize no man according to the flesh;
even though we have known Christ according to the flesh,
yet now we know Him thus no longer.
therefore if any man is in Christ,
he is a new creature;
the old things passed away;
behold, new things have come.
now all these things are from God,
who reconciled us to Himself through Christ,
and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
namely, that God was in Christ
reconciling the world to Himself,
not counting their trespasses against them,
and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ,
as though God were entreating through us;
we beg you on behalf of Christ,
be reconciled to God.
He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf,
that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. II corinthians 5.14-21)
God initiated a relationship with us
and that relationship becomes the defining core of our identity.
the focus on who i am is no longer on my sexual attractions, desires or tendencies
(or anything else for that matter!)
increasingly, it's no on me at all-
my life is radically reoriented around Him.
...God's great love for us in Christ becomes the center of our identity
and the controlling factor in our lives.
in Jesus, we find the 'treasure in the field', the 'pearl of great value'
and everything formerly prized is counted
'as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord'
(see matthew 13. 44.6; philippians 3.8)
at harvest USA, we believe the opposite of homosexuality isn't heterosexuality-
it is holiness.
to be holy means to be set apart for God.
this is what it means that we are reconciled to Him.
He is our God, we are His people.
to be a disciple means taking up a cross,
willing to lose my life for His sake,
believing His promise that in so doing i will actually find abundant life.
thus dietrich bonhoeffer wrote,
'when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.
the bible's starting point
ultimately, the 'inborn and unchangeable' claim rests on personal experience, not science.
the arguments goes,
'i never asked for SSA.
i've always felt this way.
it is natural for me.
therefore God made me this way.
but here's rub:
the bible teaches that what is 'natural' to us is broken!
nothing in this world is the way it's supposed to be.
all of us have a sexuality in need of redemption.
what i mean is,
no one goes through life with blinders on,
experiencing a dormant sexuality
until they finally meet that special someone of the opposite gender,
get married,
and then spend the rest of their lives in starry eyed, selfless devotion to that person,
never looking to the left or right.
in a fallen world,
sexuality is bent in innumerable directions,
but ALL of us have a broken sexuality.
my wedding ring is completely foreign to me naturally.
apart from Christ, when i was single i cheated on every woman i dated.
i'm not naturally wired for monogamy-
i needed a radical, supernatural intervention by the Spirit of God
to overcome my 'natural' tendencies and begin living differently.
beginning in genesis 3 and running straight through to revelation,
the bible assumes that our 'natural' state is broken and anti-God,
meaning we live for self, not Him.
this is the natural 'orientation' for all humanity-
to live self determinative, autonomous lives apart from God.
this means who we are naturally is not God given!
our feelings, our attractions, the worldviews we develop as we are shaped by life,
can't be trusted.
thus the very starting point of pro-gay theology is completely unbiblical.
as c.s. lewis wrote,
'fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement;
he is a rebel who must lay down his arms.
in our pluralistic society, many choose to reject the bible's doctrine of man,
but for any who want to call their faith christian,
our broken natural state,
our utter inability to change ourselves
and our desperate need for God's supernatural intervention
is the only starting point for understanding what is wrong with us
(and the world at large!)
this is where change begins.
a biblical view of change
the hope of the gospel is that God does what is impossible for us:
He gives us a new heart that understands our need for His grace
and embraces Christ by faith.
this new heart is what enables us to obey.
and, as we looked at above,
obedience begins to flow from affection for God
in response to His love for us.
although the new heart we are given when we come to Christ by faith is 'instantaneous',
the outworking in our lives is a lifelong process.
and the truth is that temptation, struggle and loss
will be a life long reality,
not just for the SSA struggler,
but for everyone who lives in this fallen world.
so to speak of change biblically means
in Christ we now have the ability to obey God
and align our life to His will and design.
transformation means
i am no longer a slave to my desires.
by His Spirit, God empowers us to obey-
in the face of ongoing temptation and the tug of our flesh.
listen to how paul describes this battle;
'for the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit,
and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh,
for these are opposed to each other,
to keep you from doing the things you want to do. galatians 5.17
as we live in relationship with Him,
and equally important,
as we live authentically
(not false; genuine; real)
with others in the community of Christ,
the Spirit of God reins us in and even though we 'want' to continue pursuing sinful activities,
as we surrender to Him,
His hand restrains us in love.
because He knows what is best for us.
living in obedience is the demonstration that we know Christ
(my little children,
i am writing these things to you
that you may not sin.
and if anyone sins,
we have an advocate with the Father,
Jesus Christ the righteous;
and He Himself is the propitiation
(satisfaction of God's wrath) for our sins;
and not for ours only,
but also for those of the whole world.
and by this we know that we have come to know Him,
if we keep His commandments.
the one who says,
'i have come to know Him',
and does not keep His commandments,
is a liar,
and the truth is not in him;
but whoever keeps His word,
in him the love of God has truly been perfected.
by this we know that we are in Him... I john 2.1-5)
in our wisdom
change looks like the removal of SSA,
but God's purposes are powerfully at work in our suffering with temptation
(see my aforementioned article).
His promise is that there will always be away out of temptation
so we are able to endure it I corinthians 10.13.
God doesn't magically transport us out of the mess;
rather, like shadrach, meshach and abednego,
we need to pass through the fire,
but with a promise;
He is with us and we won't be consumed.
(..'when you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
when you walk through the fire,
you will not be scorched
nor will the flame burn you...
do not fear, for I am with you...see isaiah 43.1-7)
looking to the one who empowers change
will it be like this forever?
absolutely not!
(there'll be more on that on our blog..(truthandmercy.wordpress.com)
i realize that the thought of living with lifelong temptation,
with sexual attractions and pulls that you wish you didn't have,
can at times feel crushing,
but believe me,
it gets better.
temptation may persist,
but that doesn't mean it will be at the same intensity all the time.
i always tell people,
if there's a predator after you,
it makes a HUGE difference if it's a lion..or a gnat.
one will destroy your life;
the other is a nuisance.
the more you walk in obedience,
the more temptation will become less life-dominating
(more the 'nuisnce' and less the destructive threat.)
as you live according to His word,
seek the support of others in the body of Christ-
(note: or if you find no one,
get very close to the one who said,
'come unto to Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
take My yoke upon you and learn from Me
for I am gentle and humble in heart;
and you shall find rest for your souls.
for My yoke is easy and My burden is light. matthew 11.28-30
..fill every moment talking to Him, complaining to Him, praising and thanking Him, asking Him to give you guidance and beholding His beauty
...memorizing and meditating on His word
...agonizing to obey His commands,
especially to make disciples and to proclaim the good news of His loving death and powerful resurrection to make forgiveness and eternal life possible to everyone who will turn from their sins to Him as Lord and savior.)
which is absolutely essential for any change oriented movement.
as you intentionally turn from your idols
you begin to see reality more clearly.
you begin to see the hooks connected to the idols
that draw you in your struggle
away from obedience to Christ
(idols of
comfort,
pleasure,
avoidance of pain,
the need for relationship at any price,
to name a few.)
and you learn to identify them and avoid them.
more importantly, you begin to experience 'abundant life'
in your relationship with God and others;
relationships with others that can be deep, enriching and need not be sexualized.
in following Christ, many men and women
have experienced a lessening of SSA desires and attractions over time,
but some have not.
some have experienced growth in heterosexual desires
(especially with regard to a specific person of the opposite sex
that they love or are married to),
but some have never experienced a change in sexual desires.
the essence of the fruit of change
is the Spirit led ability to resist and turn from temptation to past desires
and we believe anyone in Christ can grow along that trajectory.
(the curve described by the path of a propelled object?)
will there be times of failure?
yes, as there is with anyone dealing with other deeply rooted issues,
like anger, overeating and various addictions and so on.
as i grieved the loss of my first wife,
facing the overwhelming challenge of being a single parent to twin teen girls,
God met me in my grief, loneliness and sexual longing as He never had before.
at one point, reading thought the gospel of matthew, two passages spoke to me.
FIRST, when Jesus was telling about His return,
He mentioned that He didn't know when that day will be-
only the Father knows.
consider that:
for 2000 years Jesus has been waiting,
perhaps patiently asking with each new morning,
'Father, is it today?
He has been waiting a LONG time.
this is not to diminish your time of waiting.
i'm not saying Jesus has it worse,
so buck up.
what i want you to see is that He knows what it takes to wait.
He knows exactly the grace you need as you are 'waiting' on Him, '
not just for the future when He returns,
but now, every day, trusting in Him
as He works change and growth in your life according to His timing.
SECOND, at the last supper,
He passed the cup
saying i would be the last time He would partake of the fruit of the vine
until He drank it with us in the kingdom.
He left us the supper and told us to feast frequently,
remembering Him until He returns,
but He Himself is fasting.
He is depicted in scripture as our victorious King,
ruling the universe by the word of His power,
but He is a patiently waiting and fasting King.
He is patient,
but eagerly looking forward to sitting down at the wedding feast with you and i..
HARVEST USA i a faith operated ministry.
most of our work is given freely or at low cost.
we are supported entirely by churches and individuals who are convinced of our mission.
our mission is to partner with and equip the church in bringing the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to transform the lives of those affected by sexual struggles and sin.
proclaiming Christ as Lord to a sexually broken world
equipping the church to minister to sexually broken people
the article is written by david white
'i love children.
i've always wanted a family.
i just can't imagine myself ever getting married.
i mean, how would sex even work
i don't think this is working'.
'frank' shook his head and threw up his hands in exasperation.
a christian man in his 30s, wrestling with same-sex attraction (SSA),
he was beaten down by the relentlessness of his temptation and his seeming inability to change.
like most men and women struggling with SSA,
frank hoped coming to harvest USA would translate into deliverance from his homosexual desires.
for him, defeating SSA meant
eradicating ongoing homosexual temptation and essentially becoming heterosexual.
this is what change means for many people and anything short of that feels like a 'bait and switch'.
first, we need to acknowledge that the ongoing, persistent nature of a struggle with SSA is very hared for those who desire to follow God's word regarding His design for sexuality.
for the vast majority of men and women, it will be a lifelong experience in this fallen world.
it is a unique and, at times, excruciating cross they are called to bear,
but it is not a hopeless journey.
for it is there, in that struggle, that God wants to meet them.
(for a fuller description of how god uses our battles with temptation for our good and His glory,
please see my prior harvest news article, 'suffering with temptation at harvestusa.org;
click on Resources/Articles/Same-Sex Attraction).
conflicting views of change
in our culture there is a cacophony of voices expressing radically divergent perspectives on change.
because the media shouts the loudest,
a growing number of people have adopted the view that SSA is 'inborn and unchangeable'.
after all, no one ever asked to have SSA.
the desires come unbidden and they stubbornly persist.
it is never a conscious choice.
although direct genetic and/or physiological origins have never been scientifically proven,
the spirit of the age insistently asserts that altering sexual orientation
is as futile as trying to change skin color.
it is argued that the very attempt is psychologically harmful,
so california recently made it illegal for therapists to talk to teenagers about the possibility of change.
sadly, even the church's voice has too frequently been unhelpful.
to begin with, homosexuality is often viewed as particularly abhorrent
and far more broken than heterosexual brokenness.
further, some christians act like SSA is simply a chosen 'life style' that can be easily deselected.
perhaps more pervasive is a triumphalist christianity that suggests
any significant sin struggle is easily overcome as long as someone has enough faith.
this is why i tend to cringe at the typical church testimony,
'my life was a mess, but then i got saved and now everything is grand!'
anything short of painless, temptation free, easy obedience
is chalked up to an individual's failure to really believe,
as if our journey in this life is a gentle sunday stroll to heaven.
finally, most people (particularly those who struggle with the issue)
see change as nothing less than the utter eradication of their SSA,
coupled with a big boost in heterosexual desire.
mistakenly, they believe that ultimate change means
a traditional marriage,
children,
a house in the burbs with a white picket fence and
eventually grandchildren.
there is an understandable longing to find relief
from the unwanted attraction and the ongoing temptation,
but this expectation goes far beyond the promises of the bible.
how can we sort through all these dissonant voices?
re-aligning the focus
since freud, our culture has placed an inordinate focus on our sexuality.
so many women wrestle with body image because they are programmed to believe
that sex appeal is one of the most important aspects of their person.
in this environment, it's not surprising that people
build their fundamental identity around their sexuality.
this is not what it means to be human.
the bible gives us two primary categories for identity formation,
tied to the reality that we are body and spirit.
first, we are created as God's 'image bearers', either male or female,
and second, we are either 'in Christ' or not.
perhaps this sounds overly simple, but to be 'in Christ' means
to be an adopted child of God,
an heir to His eternal kingdom.
our identity is completely bound up in Him-
this union with Him is both foundational and of infinitely greater worth
than what our culture proclaims is our sexual 'orientation'.
a biblical anthropology does not recognize 'sexual orintation' as a core identity marker.
this is why i am very concerned by the growing number of Christians who
uphold biblical sexual morality in practice,
but maintain the identity of a 'celibate, gay christian'.
God doesn't want our identity wrapped up in
the broken places of our humanity,
but in the glorious redemption that is ours in Christ!
men and women coming for ministry to harvest USA
are always surprised by how little we talk about sex.
seriously.
why?
for us the issue is not sexual orientation;
we're not in the business of making people 'straight'.
for 30 years, our focus has always been the gospel-
that God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ, not counting our sins against us.
('for the love of Christ controls us,
having concluded this,
that one died for all,
therefore all died;
and He died for all,
that they who live should no longer live for themselves but
for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
therefore from now on we recognize no man according to the flesh;
even though we have known Christ according to the flesh,
yet now we know Him thus no longer.
therefore if any man is in Christ,
he is a new creature;
the old things passed away;
behold, new things have come.
now all these things are from God,
who reconciled us to Himself through Christ,
and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
namely, that God was in Christ
reconciling the world to Himself,
not counting their trespasses against them,
and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ,
as though God were entreating through us;
we beg you on behalf of Christ,
be reconciled to God.
He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf,
that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. II corinthians 5.14-21)
God initiated a relationship with us
and that relationship becomes the defining core of our identity.
the focus on who i am is no longer on my sexual attractions, desires or tendencies
(or anything else for that matter!)
increasingly, it's no on me at all-
my life is radically reoriented around Him.
...God's great love for us in Christ becomes the center of our identity
and the controlling factor in our lives.
in Jesus, we find the 'treasure in the field', the 'pearl of great value'
and everything formerly prized is counted
'as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord'
(see matthew 13. 44.6; philippians 3.8)
at harvest USA, we believe the opposite of homosexuality isn't heterosexuality-
it is holiness.
to be holy means to be set apart for God.
this is what it means that we are reconciled to Him.
He is our God, we are His people.
to be a disciple means taking up a cross,
willing to lose my life for His sake,
believing His promise that in so doing i will actually find abundant life.
thus dietrich bonhoeffer wrote,
'when Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.
the bible's starting point
ultimately, the 'inborn and unchangeable' claim rests on personal experience, not science.
the arguments goes,
'i never asked for SSA.
i've always felt this way.
it is natural for me.
therefore God made me this way.
but here's rub:
the bible teaches that what is 'natural' to us is broken!
nothing in this world is the way it's supposed to be.
all of us have a sexuality in need of redemption.
what i mean is,
no one goes through life with blinders on,
experiencing a dormant sexuality
until they finally meet that special someone of the opposite gender,
get married,
and then spend the rest of their lives in starry eyed, selfless devotion to that person,
never looking to the left or right.
in a fallen world,
sexuality is bent in innumerable directions,
but ALL of us have a broken sexuality.
my wedding ring is completely foreign to me naturally.
apart from Christ, when i was single i cheated on every woman i dated.
i'm not naturally wired for monogamy-
i needed a radical, supernatural intervention by the Spirit of God
to overcome my 'natural' tendencies and begin living differently.
beginning in genesis 3 and running straight through to revelation,
the bible assumes that our 'natural' state is broken and anti-God,
meaning we live for self, not Him.
this is the natural 'orientation' for all humanity-
to live self determinative, autonomous lives apart from God.
this means who we are naturally is not God given!
our feelings, our attractions, the worldviews we develop as we are shaped by life,
can't be trusted.
thus the very starting point of pro-gay theology is completely unbiblical.
as c.s. lewis wrote,
'fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement;
he is a rebel who must lay down his arms.
in our pluralistic society, many choose to reject the bible's doctrine of man,
but for any who want to call their faith christian,
our broken natural state,
our utter inability to change ourselves
and our desperate need for God's supernatural intervention
is the only starting point for understanding what is wrong with us
(and the world at large!)
this is where change begins.
a biblical view of change
the hope of the gospel is that God does what is impossible for us:
He gives us a new heart that understands our need for His grace
and embraces Christ by faith.
this new heart is what enables us to obey.
and, as we looked at above,
obedience begins to flow from affection for God
in response to His love for us.
although the new heart we are given when we come to Christ by faith is 'instantaneous',
the outworking in our lives is a lifelong process.
and the truth is that temptation, struggle and loss
will be a life long reality,
not just for the SSA struggler,
but for everyone who lives in this fallen world.
so to speak of change biblically means
in Christ we now have the ability to obey God
and align our life to His will and design.
transformation means
i am no longer a slave to my desires.
by His Spirit, God empowers us to obey-
in the face of ongoing temptation and the tug of our flesh.
listen to how paul describes this battle;
'for the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit,
and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh,
for these are opposed to each other,
to keep you from doing the things you want to do. galatians 5.17
as we live in relationship with Him,
and equally important,
as we live authentically
(not false; genuine; real)
with others in the community of Christ,
the Spirit of God reins us in and even though we 'want' to continue pursuing sinful activities,
as we surrender to Him,
His hand restrains us in love.
because He knows what is best for us.
living in obedience is the demonstration that we know Christ
(my little children,
i am writing these things to you
that you may not sin.
and if anyone sins,
we have an advocate with the Father,
Jesus Christ the righteous;
and He Himself is the propitiation
(satisfaction of God's wrath) for our sins;
and not for ours only,
but also for those of the whole world.
and by this we know that we have come to know Him,
if we keep His commandments.
the one who says,
'i have come to know Him',
and does not keep His commandments,
is a liar,
and the truth is not in him;
but whoever keeps His word,
in him the love of God has truly been perfected.
by this we know that we are in Him... I john 2.1-5)
in our wisdom
change looks like the removal of SSA,
but God's purposes are powerfully at work in our suffering with temptation
(see my aforementioned article).
His promise is that there will always be away out of temptation
so we are able to endure it I corinthians 10.13.
God doesn't magically transport us out of the mess;
rather, like shadrach, meshach and abednego,
we need to pass through the fire,
but with a promise;
He is with us and we won't be consumed.
(..'when you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
when you walk through the fire,
you will not be scorched
nor will the flame burn you...
do not fear, for I am with you...see isaiah 43.1-7)
looking to the one who empowers change
will it be like this forever?
absolutely not!
(there'll be more on that on our blog..(truthandmercy.wordpress.com)
i realize that the thought of living with lifelong temptation,
with sexual attractions and pulls that you wish you didn't have,
can at times feel crushing,
but believe me,
it gets better.
temptation may persist,
but that doesn't mean it will be at the same intensity all the time.
i always tell people,
if there's a predator after you,
it makes a HUGE difference if it's a lion..or a gnat.
one will destroy your life;
the other is a nuisance.
the more you walk in obedience,
the more temptation will become less life-dominating
(more the 'nuisnce' and less the destructive threat.)
as you live according to His word,
seek the support of others in the body of Christ-
(note: or if you find no one,
get very close to the one who said,
'come unto to Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
take My yoke upon you and learn from Me
for I am gentle and humble in heart;
and you shall find rest for your souls.
for My yoke is easy and My burden is light. matthew 11.28-30
..fill every moment talking to Him, complaining to Him, praising and thanking Him, asking Him to give you guidance and beholding His beauty
...memorizing and meditating on His word
...agonizing to obey His commands,
especially to make disciples and to proclaim the good news of His loving death and powerful resurrection to make forgiveness and eternal life possible to everyone who will turn from their sins to Him as Lord and savior.)
which is absolutely essential for any change oriented movement.
as you intentionally turn from your idols
you begin to see reality more clearly.
you begin to see the hooks connected to the idols
that draw you in your struggle
away from obedience to Christ
(idols of
comfort,
pleasure,
avoidance of pain,
the need for relationship at any price,
to name a few.)
and you learn to identify them and avoid them.
more importantly, you begin to experience 'abundant life'
in your relationship with God and others;
relationships with others that can be deep, enriching and need not be sexualized.
in following Christ, many men and women
have experienced a lessening of SSA desires and attractions over time,
but some have not.
some have experienced growth in heterosexual desires
(especially with regard to a specific person of the opposite sex
that they love or are married to),
but some have never experienced a change in sexual desires.
the essence of the fruit of change
is the Spirit led ability to resist and turn from temptation to past desires
and we believe anyone in Christ can grow along that trajectory.
(the curve described by the path of a propelled object?)
will there be times of failure?
yes, as there is with anyone dealing with other deeply rooted issues,
like anger, overeating and various addictions and so on.
as i grieved the loss of my first wife,
facing the overwhelming challenge of being a single parent to twin teen girls,
God met me in my grief, loneliness and sexual longing as He never had before.
at one point, reading thought the gospel of matthew, two passages spoke to me.
FIRST, when Jesus was telling about His return,
He mentioned that He didn't know when that day will be-
only the Father knows.
consider that:
for 2000 years Jesus has been waiting,
perhaps patiently asking with each new morning,
'Father, is it today?
He has been waiting a LONG time.
this is not to diminish your time of waiting.
i'm not saying Jesus has it worse,
so buck up.
what i want you to see is that He knows what it takes to wait.
He knows exactly the grace you need as you are 'waiting' on Him, '
not just for the future when He returns,
but now, every day, trusting in Him
as He works change and growth in your life according to His timing.
SECOND, at the last supper,
He passed the cup
saying i would be the last time He would partake of the fruit of the vine
until He drank it with us in the kingdom.
He left us the supper and told us to feast frequently,
remembering Him until He returns,
but He Himself is fasting.
He is depicted in scripture as our victorious King,
ruling the universe by the word of His power,
but He is a patiently waiting and fasting King.
He is patient,
but eagerly looking forward to sitting down at the wedding feast with you and i..
Saturday, December 8, 2012
12.8.2012 PSALM 18.26 WITH THE CROOKED WHOU DOST SHOW THYSELF ASTUTE
this psalm of david here quotes II samuel 22.27,
the context of the chapter is shown in
v1 'and david spoke the words of this song to the Lord in the day that the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the had of saul.
the remaining 50 verses are his song.
the immediate context of the verse considered is
v24 'i was also blameless toward Him,
and i kept myself from my iniquity.
therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
according to my cleanness before His eyes.
with the kind Thou dost show Thyself kind,
with the blameless Thou dost show Thyself blameless;
with the pure Thou dost show Thyself pure,
and with the perverted Thou dost show Thyself astute.'
this truism we hear repeated in
galatians 6.8 for the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption,
but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life.
in both passages God is said to be astute. the hebrew word for this, pathal, has the meaning of twisted. the english definition of the word is,
of keen penetration or discernment; clever, cunning; ingenious shrewd...synonyms: smart, quick, perceptive
the man God is dealing with is called 'perverted' (nas) in II samuel and 'crooked' in psalm 18,
but both are a different hebrew word, iqquesh, having the meaning 'twisted' with a twist you will learn below and will see that God is better at 'twisting' than man.
delitzsch writes of the II samuel verse...that God shows Himself perverse towards the perverse, by giving him up to his perverseness and references romans 1.28,
'and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer,
God gave them over to a depraved mind,
to do those things which are not proper..
matthew henry's commentary on this verse says,
'those who turn aside to crooked ways He will
'lead forth with the workers of iniquity'
as He says in another place.
with the froward (willfully contrary; not easily managed)
He will wrestle
and those with whom God wrestles are sure to be foiled.
woe unto him that strives with his Maker!
God will walk contrary to those who walk contrary to Him
and be displeased with those who are displeased with Him.
as for the haughty,
His eyes are upon them,
marking them out, as it were to be brought down;
for He resists the proud.
for psalm 18.26 henry references leviticus 26
v21 if then, you act with hostility against Me
and are unwilling to obey Me,
I will increase the plague on you seven times according to your sins.
v23f..if by these things you are not turned to Me,
but act with hostility against Me,
then I will act with hostility against you:
and I, even I,
will strike you seven times for your sins.
below is from spurgeon's treasury of david on psalm 18.26..
the sinner's frowardness is sinful and rebellious and the only sense in which the term can be applied to the Most Holy God is that of judicial opposition and sternness, in which the judge of all the earth WILL ACT AT CROSS PURPOSES with the offender, and let him see that all things are not to be made subservient to wicked whims and wilful fancies.
calvin very forcibly says,
'this brutish and monstrous stupidity in men compels God to invent new modes of expression, and as it were to cloth himself with a different character. there is a similar sentence in leviticus 26. 21-4 (henry above), where God says,
'and if ye walk contrary unto (or perversely with) Me,
then will I also walk contrary unto (or perversely or roughly or at random with) you'.
as if He had said that their obstinacy and stubbornness would make Him on His part forget His accustomed forbearance and gentleness, and cast Himself recklessly or at random against them.
we see then what the stubborn at length gain by their obduracy;
it is this,
that God hardens Himself still more to break them in pieces,
and if they are of stone, He causes them to feel that He has the hardness of iron.'
the jewish tradition was that the manna tasted according to each man's mouth;
certainly God shows Himself to each individual according to his character. spurgeon
but doth the Lord take colour from everyone He meets or change His temper as the com0pany changes?
that's the weakness of sinful man:
he cannot do so with whom there is no variablenes nor shadow of changing.
God is pure and upright with the unclean and hypocritical, as well as with the pure and upright
and His actions show Him to be so.
God shows Himself froward with the froward when He deals with him as He hath said He will deal with the froward-
deny them and reject them.
God shows Himself pure with the pure, when He deals with them as He hath said He will-
hear them and accept them.
though there be nothing in purity and sincerity which deserveth mercy,
yet we cannot expect mercy without them.
our comforts are not grounded upon our graces,
but our comforts are the fruits or consequences of our graces. joseph caryl
here, as in the first promise, the two combatants stand contrasted-
the seed of the woman and the serpent-
the benignantly bountiful., perfect, pure One,
and the froward one, whose works He came to destroy,
and who made it his great business to circumvent Him whom he feared.
the literal meaning of the word is 'tortuous' or 'crooked'
and both the ideas of perversity and cunning which the figure naturally suggests, are very applicable to
'that old serpent the devil',
from the concluding part of the sentence, i think there is no doubt that it is the latter idea that is intended to be conveyed.
God cannot deal perversely with any one;
but He outwits the wise and takes the cunning in their own craftiness. john brown
(note: I corinthians 3.18-20)
the hebrew word in the root signifieth
to wrest or writhe a thing,
or to wrest or turn a thing,
as wrestlers do their bodies.
hence by a trope,
(any literary device, such as metaphor, that consists in the use of words other than their literal sense)
it is translated often to wrestle,
because a cunning man in wrestling,
turneth and windeth his body,
and works himself in and out every way,
to get an advantage of his adversary
any way;
therefore your cunning headed men,
your crafty men,
are fitly presented under this word;
they are like wrestlers who turn and wind themselves in and out, and lie for all advantages;
or as we speak, they 'lie at catch'.
a man knows not where to have them
or what they mean when they speak plainest or swear solemnest;
when we think we wee their faces, we see by their vizards;
(a mask for disguise or protection)
all their promises and performances too are under a disguise....
and this word is applied to the Lord Himself,
'with the froward Thou wilt shew Thyself froward';
that is, if men will be winding and turning,
and thinking to catch others, or over reach the Lord Himself
with tricks and turnings of wit.
the lord will meet and answer them in their own kind;
He can turn as fast as they,
He can meet and answer them in their won kind;
He can turn as fast as they,
He can put Himself into such intricate labyrinths of infinite wisdom and sacred craft,
as shall entangle and ensnare the most cunning wrestler or tumbler of them all.
He will cretize the cretans (?), supplant the supplanters of His people. joseph caryl
it is a similitude taken from wrestlers and noteth a writhing of one's self against an sdversary.
..deuteronomy 32.5 'they are a perverse and crooked generation',
the same two words that are her in this text;
the latter importeth that they wriggled and writhed after the manner of wrestlers that wave up and down and wind the other way, when one thinks to have him here or there. but all will not serve their turn to save them from punishment.
God will be sure to meet with them,
his word will lay hold on them,
and their sin shall find them out. john trapp
'
the context of the chapter is shown in
v1 'and david spoke the words of this song to the Lord in the day that the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the had of saul.
the remaining 50 verses are his song.
the immediate context of the verse considered is
v24 'i was also blameless toward Him,
and i kept myself from my iniquity.
therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
according to my cleanness before His eyes.
with the kind Thou dost show Thyself kind,
with the blameless Thou dost show Thyself blameless;
with the pure Thou dost show Thyself pure,
and with the perverted Thou dost show Thyself astute.'
this truism we hear repeated in
galatians 6.8 for the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption,
but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life.
in both passages God is said to be astute. the hebrew word for this, pathal, has the meaning of twisted. the english definition of the word is,
of keen penetration or discernment; clever, cunning; ingenious shrewd...synonyms: smart, quick, perceptive
the man God is dealing with is called 'perverted' (nas) in II samuel and 'crooked' in psalm 18,
but both are a different hebrew word, iqquesh, having the meaning 'twisted' with a twist you will learn below and will see that God is better at 'twisting' than man.
delitzsch writes of the II samuel verse...that God shows Himself perverse towards the perverse, by giving him up to his perverseness and references romans 1.28,
'and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer,
God gave them over to a depraved mind,
to do those things which are not proper..
matthew henry's commentary on this verse says,
'those who turn aside to crooked ways He will
'lead forth with the workers of iniquity'
as He says in another place.
with the froward (willfully contrary; not easily managed)
He will wrestle
and those with whom God wrestles are sure to be foiled.
woe unto him that strives with his Maker!
God will walk contrary to those who walk contrary to Him
and be displeased with those who are displeased with Him.
as for the haughty,
His eyes are upon them,
marking them out, as it were to be brought down;
for He resists the proud.
for psalm 18.26 henry references leviticus 26
v21 if then, you act with hostility against Me
and are unwilling to obey Me,
I will increase the plague on you seven times according to your sins.
v23f..if by these things you are not turned to Me,
but act with hostility against Me,
then I will act with hostility against you:
and I, even I,
will strike you seven times for your sins.
below is from spurgeon's treasury of david on psalm 18.26..
the sinner's frowardness is sinful and rebellious and the only sense in which the term can be applied to the Most Holy God is that of judicial opposition and sternness, in which the judge of all the earth WILL ACT AT CROSS PURPOSES with the offender, and let him see that all things are not to be made subservient to wicked whims and wilful fancies.
calvin very forcibly says,
'this brutish and monstrous stupidity in men compels God to invent new modes of expression, and as it were to cloth himself with a different character. there is a similar sentence in leviticus 26. 21-4 (henry above), where God says,
'and if ye walk contrary unto (or perversely with) Me,
then will I also walk contrary unto (or perversely or roughly or at random with) you'.
as if He had said that their obstinacy and stubbornness would make Him on His part forget His accustomed forbearance and gentleness, and cast Himself recklessly or at random against them.
we see then what the stubborn at length gain by their obduracy;
it is this,
that God hardens Himself still more to break them in pieces,
and if they are of stone, He causes them to feel that He has the hardness of iron.'
the jewish tradition was that the manna tasted according to each man's mouth;
certainly God shows Himself to each individual according to his character. spurgeon
but doth the Lord take colour from everyone He meets or change His temper as the com0pany changes?
that's the weakness of sinful man:
he cannot do so with whom there is no variablenes nor shadow of changing.
God is pure and upright with the unclean and hypocritical, as well as with the pure and upright
and His actions show Him to be so.
God shows Himself froward with the froward when He deals with him as He hath said He will deal with the froward-
deny them and reject them.
God shows Himself pure with the pure, when He deals with them as He hath said He will-
hear them and accept them.
though there be nothing in purity and sincerity which deserveth mercy,
yet we cannot expect mercy without them.
our comforts are not grounded upon our graces,
but our comforts are the fruits or consequences of our graces. joseph caryl
here, as in the first promise, the two combatants stand contrasted-
the seed of the woman and the serpent-
the benignantly bountiful., perfect, pure One,
and the froward one, whose works He came to destroy,
and who made it his great business to circumvent Him whom he feared.
the literal meaning of the word is 'tortuous' or 'crooked'
and both the ideas of perversity and cunning which the figure naturally suggests, are very applicable to
'that old serpent the devil',
from the concluding part of the sentence, i think there is no doubt that it is the latter idea that is intended to be conveyed.
God cannot deal perversely with any one;
but He outwits the wise and takes the cunning in their own craftiness. john brown
(note: I corinthians 3.18-20)
the hebrew word in the root signifieth
to wrest or writhe a thing,
or to wrest or turn a thing,
as wrestlers do their bodies.
hence by a trope,
(any literary device, such as metaphor, that consists in the use of words other than their literal sense)
it is translated often to wrestle,
because a cunning man in wrestling,
turneth and windeth his body,
and works himself in and out every way,
to get an advantage of his adversary
any way;
therefore your cunning headed men,
your crafty men,
are fitly presented under this word;
they are like wrestlers who turn and wind themselves in and out, and lie for all advantages;
or as we speak, they 'lie at catch'.
a man knows not where to have them
or what they mean when they speak plainest or swear solemnest;
when we think we wee their faces, we see by their vizards;
(a mask for disguise or protection)
all their promises and performances too are under a disguise....
and this word is applied to the Lord Himself,
'with the froward Thou wilt shew Thyself froward';
that is, if men will be winding and turning,
and thinking to catch others, or over reach the Lord Himself
with tricks and turnings of wit.
the lord will meet and answer them in their own kind;
He can turn as fast as they,
He can meet and answer them in their won kind;
He can turn as fast as they,
He can put Himself into such intricate labyrinths of infinite wisdom and sacred craft,
as shall entangle and ensnare the most cunning wrestler or tumbler of them all.
He will cretize the cretans (?), supplant the supplanters of His people. joseph caryl
it is a similitude taken from wrestlers and noteth a writhing of one's self against an sdversary.
..deuteronomy 32.5 'they are a perverse and crooked generation',
the same two words that are her in this text;
the latter importeth that they wriggled and writhed after the manner of wrestlers that wave up and down and wind the other way, when one thinks to have him here or there. but all will not serve their turn to save them from punishment.
God will be sure to meet with them,
his word will lay hold on them,
and their sin shall find them out. john trapp
'
12.8.2012 FRANCIS CHAN'S 'MULTIPLY: DISCIPLES MAKING DISCIPLES
below taken from an interview by mark galli in december 2012 christianity today on chan's new book..
what are you hoping to accomplish in your new book?
i try to explain the most important things a believer needs to know. it's an attempt to teach the basics of what i fee needs to be passed on to new believers..
unlike many other discipleship manuals, yours does not begin by explaining about how to pray..etc..instead, you begin by talking about the importance of church..
in our culture, people have a very low view of church
(note- if i read him right he's talking about acts 2.42 practice which i personally know nothing of and have not yet experienced in my life (if this take is correct may chan's tribe of believer increase!..seems everyone is 'doing the church program' rather that being obedient to the word in a costly way, experiencing persecution as the norm of every day life and being intimately and regularly involved in the lives of other such 'practicing' believers..)
and i didn't want readers to forget the church. for a person to be truly discipled and growing in their faith, they need more than one person discipling them. they need to see the gifts of the body; that's how God created it and intended it...this is how He is going to reach the world.
your book is also not topical but mostly a journey through the bible, where you let the biblical narrative shape the content of chapters.
one weakness in the chu4rch is that we can make things too formulaic, with a blanket statement for every situation about what you do. i want to help people understand how
to study the scriptures with other people,
to give them an over view of scripture
and assume that by understanding the scriptures better, the Holy Spirit will bring to mind the right stories, the right teachings...
you say that every disciple needs to disciple others. if discipling is essentially teaching-in word and example-why is it everyone's job, and not just those with the gift of teaching..
there is a gift of teaching..that's not what we're talking about.
it has more to do with, for example,the older women teaching the younger women.
parents are supposed to instruct their kids.
it doesn't mean that necessarily have that gift of teaching
the teaching in the great commisision is about obedience to Jesus.
it's not necessarily,
'now let me teach you what this means in the greek.
its,
let me teach you how to obey this.
so often we teach these great lessons but we don't push it to the point of obedience.
and satan loves that because we're deceiving ourselves.
the teaching i'm talking about is like walking alongside someone
rebuking, exhorting and getting them to the point where they realize they
need to repent
or they're living in disobedience.
in places, you say the church's mission is for the sake of the world;
the church exists to help us each fulfill that mission.
but revelation 4-where the church in heaven gathers in joyful worship of god-suggests that the church is not a means to an end, but the end.
so is the church a means or an end for you?
i definitely don't think it's an either/or.
i really do believe it has to be both.
i know that there's no direct command to go plant churches.
there is a command to make disciples.
as we make disciples, churches form..together they form a body.
if i had to lean one way, it really seems like you start with the mission
and then the church forms,
and then the church continues the mission.
sometimes we get so focused on creating a gathering the mission becomes optional.
that hurts the church.
for example, in the gatherings i have in san francisco, everyone knows that we're on a mission because that's such a big part of what we do.
our gatherings involve the mission. we gather and go out and gather back again.
it creates an incredible sense of unity, because these people i consider my brothers and sisters, because they're serving along side me. i've seen how the mission really makes the church so beautiful because the mission is so central.
...when you read the scriptures, the verses that grab you run along the lines of
'go and make disciples' and
'sell all you have.
others are most taken with verse like
'come to Me, all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest' and
'your sins are forgiven'.
do you ever wonder why you are taken with the former more than the latter?
we, i wouldn't say the latter don't engage me, because there are times when they do. i just preached on the faithfulness of God, and i was bawling my eyes out.
i was memorizing ephesians and got to chapter two and i was just screaming out to God when it says,
'but God, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which He loved us...
it's like, aaah!
but i try to consider my audience and what they hear all the time.
i see Christ doing that;
He preaches one way to the pharisees and another way to the woman caught in adultery.
i speak primarily to an american audience involved in a consumer driven culture.
right now i'm speaking to a lot of drug addicts and people whom the world has discarded, people who just feel like they're of no worth. my message is very different to them. it's
'you are of worth. you've been lied to and you bought into the lie. it led to death. but here's the truth. the truth will set you free. you are the ones who are going to change the world. you're the very ones God would choose.
in every congregation, there's going to be both kinds of listeners. but to generalized, in my perception, the majority is unruly and rebellious. look at the different barna stats on how many people claim to be christian and yet their lifestyle is absolutely no different from the rest of the world. so that's what i tend to attack, rather than believing people are too diligent and that they are way too works oriented.
...if francis chan were to die tonight, what would be one thing you'd regret at 'being called home' sooner than later?
i'm pretty happy with my life, but there are still some fears in me.
i'm still a coward when it comes to sharing my faith.
i've gotten better, but as far as character, that would be the one thing that stands out to me.
I DON'T LOVE PEOPLE AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO
(note: ME NEITHER AND I'M NOT CONCERNED ENOUGH TO SEEK THE LORD CONTINUALLY THROUGH PRAYER AND FASTING UNTIL HIS LOVE IS IN, AND FLOWING OUT OF, ME.)
..i'm just not as bold as i should be at times.
and so i wish i could grow in those character qualities.
(note: or be filled with the Holy Spirit
acts 2.4 'and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak...as the Spirit was giving them utterance (margin, 'the ability to speak out.
2.14 but peter taking his stand with the eleven, raise his voice and declared to them...v41 so then, those who had received his word were baptized (same day) and there were added that day about three thousand souls.
4.8 then peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them,
'rulers and elders of the people...v13 now as they observed the confidence of peter and john and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were marveling and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus..
v18 and when they had summoned them, they commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. but peter and john answered and said to them,
'whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God you be the judge;
for we cannot stop speaking what we have seen and heard..
v23 and when they had been released, they went to their own companions, and reported all that the chief priests and the elders had said to them.
and when they heard this, they lifted their voices to God with one accord and said...
'and now Lord,
take note of their threats and
grant that Thy bond servants may speak Thy word with all confidence,
while Thou dost extend Thy hand to heal, and signs and wonders take place through the name of Thy holy servant Jesus.
and when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and began to speak the word of God with boldness....)
what are you hoping to accomplish in your new book?
i try to explain the most important things a believer needs to know. it's an attempt to teach the basics of what i fee needs to be passed on to new believers..
unlike many other discipleship manuals, yours does not begin by explaining about how to pray..etc..instead, you begin by talking about the importance of church..
in our culture, people have a very low view of church
(note- if i read him right he's talking about acts 2.42 practice which i personally know nothing of and have not yet experienced in my life (if this take is correct may chan's tribe of believer increase!..seems everyone is 'doing the church program' rather that being obedient to the word in a costly way, experiencing persecution as the norm of every day life and being intimately and regularly involved in the lives of other such 'practicing' believers..)
and i didn't want readers to forget the church. for a person to be truly discipled and growing in their faith, they need more than one person discipling them. they need to see the gifts of the body; that's how God created it and intended it...this is how He is going to reach the world.
your book is also not topical but mostly a journey through the bible, where you let the biblical narrative shape the content of chapters.
one weakness in the chu4rch is that we can make things too formulaic, with a blanket statement for every situation about what you do. i want to help people understand how
to study the scriptures with other people,
to give them an over view of scripture
and assume that by understanding the scriptures better, the Holy Spirit will bring to mind the right stories, the right teachings...
you say that every disciple needs to disciple others. if discipling is essentially teaching-in word and example-why is it everyone's job, and not just those with the gift of teaching..
there is a gift of teaching..that's not what we're talking about.
it has more to do with, for example,the older women teaching the younger women.
parents are supposed to instruct their kids.
it doesn't mean that necessarily have that gift of teaching
the teaching in the great commisision is about obedience to Jesus.
it's not necessarily,
'now let me teach you what this means in the greek.
its,
let me teach you how to obey this.
so often we teach these great lessons but we don't push it to the point of obedience.
and satan loves that because we're deceiving ourselves.
the teaching i'm talking about is like walking alongside someone
rebuking, exhorting and getting them to the point where they realize they
need to repent
or they're living in disobedience.
in places, you say the church's mission is for the sake of the world;
the church exists to help us each fulfill that mission.
but revelation 4-where the church in heaven gathers in joyful worship of god-suggests that the church is not a means to an end, but the end.
so is the church a means or an end for you?
i definitely don't think it's an either/or.
i really do believe it has to be both.
i know that there's no direct command to go plant churches.
there is a command to make disciples.
as we make disciples, churches form..together they form a body.
if i had to lean one way, it really seems like you start with the mission
and then the church forms,
and then the church continues the mission.
sometimes we get so focused on creating a gathering the mission becomes optional.
that hurts the church.
for example, in the gatherings i have in san francisco, everyone knows that we're on a mission because that's such a big part of what we do.
our gatherings involve the mission. we gather and go out and gather back again.
it creates an incredible sense of unity, because these people i consider my brothers and sisters, because they're serving along side me. i've seen how the mission really makes the church so beautiful because the mission is so central.
...when you read the scriptures, the verses that grab you run along the lines of
'go and make disciples' and
'sell all you have.
others are most taken with verse like
'come to Me, all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest' and
'your sins are forgiven'.
do you ever wonder why you are taken with the former more than the latter?
we, i wouldn't say the latter don't engage me, because there are times when they do. i just preached on the faithfulness of God, and i was bawling my eyes out.
i was memorizing ephesians and got to chapter two and i was just screaming out to God when it says,
'but God, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which He loved us...
it's like, aaah!
but i try to consider my audience and what they hear all the time.
i see Christ doing that;
He preaches one way to the pharisees and another way to the woman caught in adultery.
i speak primarily to an american audience involved in a consumer driven culture.
right now i'm speaking to a lot of drug addicts and people whom the world has discarded, people who just feel like they're of no worth. my message is very different to them. it's
'you are of worth. you've been lied to and you bought into the lie. it led to death. but here's the truth. the truth will set you free. you are the ones who are going to change the world. you're the very ones God would choose.
in every congregation, there's going to be both kinds of listeners. but to generalized, in my perception, the majority is unruly and rebellious. look at the different barna stats on how many people claim to be christian and yet their lifestyle is absolutely no different from the rest of the world. so that's what i tend to attack, rather than believing people are too diligent and that they are way too works oriented.
...if francis chan were to die tonight, what would be one thing you'd regret at 'being called home' sooner than later?
i'm pretty happy with my life, but there are still some fears in me.
i'm still a coward when it comes to sharing my faith.
i've gotten better, but as far as character, that would be the one thing that stands out to me.
I DON'T LOVE PEOPLE AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO
(note: ME NEITHER AND I'M NOT CONCERNED ENOUGH TO SEEK THE LORD CONTINUALLY THROUGH PRAYER AND FASTING UNTIL HIS LOVE IS IN, AND FLOWING OUT OF, ME.)
..i'm just not as bold as i should be at times.
and so i wish i could grow in those character qualities.
(note: or be filled with the Holy Spirit
acts 2.4 'and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak...as the Spirit was giving them utterance (margin, 'the ability to speak out.
2.14 but peter taking his stand with the eleven, raise his voice and declared to them...v41 so then, those who had received his word were baptized (same day) and there were added that day about three thousand souls.
4.8 then peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them,
'rulers and elders of the people...v13 now as they observed the confidence of peter and john and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were marveling and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus..
v18 and when they had summoned them, they commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. but peter and john answered and said to them,
'whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God you be the judge;
for we cannot stop speaking what we have seen and heard..
v23 and when they had been released, they went to their own companions, and reported all that the chief priests and the elders had said to them.
and when they heard this, they lifted their voices to God with one accord and said...
'and now Lord,
take note of their threats and
grant that Thy bond servants may speak Thy word with all confidence,
while Thou dost extend Thy hand to heal, and signs and wonders take place through the name of Thy holy servant Jesus.
and when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and began to speak the word of God with boldness....)
Monday, December 3, 2012
12.3.2012 ALLENDER - TO BE TOLD III
...READING, WRITING AND ARITHMETIC-OR MORE ACCURATELY, MULTIPLICATION (matthew 28.18-20)-SUMMARIZE OUR HIGHEST CALLING.
CHAPTER 4 - LISTENING TO WHAT MOVES YOU
we read and write our stories for the sake of others and for God's glory.
our stories are not our own.
our stories are not to be read and written merely for our own benefit.
my story is your story and all our stories are for God.
therefore, i am to read, write, edit, tell and celebrate your story as much as my own.
that is the multiplication of story...
61.1 a yes or a no reflects what we value most and determines the end toward which we will move.
all decisions are guided by our projection of ourselves into the future, called our IDEAL SELF.
we each see ourselves as being a certain kind of person with a specific set of values, beliefs and dreams.
in practice, however, we often are not what we want to be but instead end up choosing what others expect us to be.
this is called our OUGHT SELF.
avoid it.
none of us will ever reach the ideal, but we can escape the ought in order to become what's called the
REAL SELF.
the real self is the one that lives honestly and ably in the middle between the ideal and the ought....
passion is what makes us feel most alive. for one person it is reading flannery o'connor, and for another it is watching one's stock portfolio grow. it is not wrong to love literature or to want to make money on investments or to have a passion for both. our ideal image of ourself is inextricably tied to our deepest passion. we will not know our true self unless we can name the passions that are tied to our ideal self...
-what we do is what we really value.
-what we value enough to do tells others what we really believe.
-what we really believe shapes what we will become...
..we always choose what we value most, even when our choice does us harm.
we won't change our behavior until we first recognize what we value most deeply
and then honestly face how our passions reinforce what we really believe.
we can change our beliefs,
but doing so won't alter our behavior until our beliefs transform our values.
we can change what we do, but the changes won't last if our values and convictions are not transformed.
each of us can begin the process of transformation by wrestling with there questions:
-what moves me most deeply?
-what do i most enjoy doing?
-where do i find the greatest pleasure and joy?
what is it about this activity, idea, or person that brings me such a sense of life?..
our ideals often get suffocated by the expectations of others...
the word character originally referred to a stylus or a tool that makes a groove in a piece of wood.
a character came to mean whatever is marked or cut by a stylus,
the pattern that an artist has carved into the raw material.
likewise, initially we are marked by the most dominant and influential people in our life.
however, their marking can't fully form us without our participation.
in fact, we adopt others' expectations of us by making them our own.
ultimately, though, our role is cut by God.
our parents may have a huge hand in shaping our character as we either conform to or defy their desire.
however, God orchestrates all of the influences in our life to blend a symphony of themes that
reflects His purposes...
so we live out a role, or we live according to a set of expectations of who we are and how we will engage with others. the role we play is both given and found. i had the role of being the translator or the messenger between my mother and father. my father was a profoundly uncommunicative man. he would often say to me.
'go calm your mom down. she's upset with something i've done and she needs to talk.
it was my job to provide her with 'perspective' after she described the quarrel they'd just had.
here was the problem:
the perspective i offered might get dad off the hook, but it would make my mom feel guilty and unloved.
on the other hand, if i chose to side with my mom, then i had to convince my dad of the legitimacy of her hurt
it was a no win world , so i found solace in books and, even more, in the staggering power and glory of words. i words i found a yes. in fact it was a divine yes that brought comfort and offered the hope of transformation. in the midst of words, i found my deepest sense of pleasure and passion. where we find our passion-and the things that stoke that passion-will eventually become part of our character...
our role in our family of origin was given to us more than it was chosen by us. but we honed and perfected it as a means to save our families and in turn preserve ourselves. the role we are given is often predictable and well defined, but we seldom act it out in a mechanical fashion. instead we customize the role to our way of being.
so which is it that really moves us-the ideal self or the ought self? the answer is..we live in a state of constant compromise between the two. we sacrifice what is ideal for what is required and vice versa. most of the time it is nearly impossible to discern which self most deeply moves us...
..regarding the real self...
if you want to find wisdom about life, it's often best to read some of the great writing found in children's stories. exactly what does it mean to be real?
margery williams tells us in the velveteen rabbit;
'what is REAL? asked the rabbit one day.
'does it mean having that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?
real isn't how you are made, said the skin horse.
it's a thing that happens to you. when a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.
does it hurt?
sometimes. for he was always truthful.
when you are Real, you don't mind being hurt.
does it happen all at once, like being wound up or bit by bit?
it doesn't happen all at once.
YOU BECOME. (my caps)
it takes a long time.
that's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily,
or who have sharp edges,
or who have to be carefully dept.
generally,
by the time you are Real,
most of your hair has been loved off
and your eyes drop out,
and you get loose in the joints
and very shabby.
but those things don't matter at all,
because once you are Real you can't be ugly,
except to people who don't understand.
so what really moves us?
in light of that passage, it's whatever we love.
if i love the feeling of being full, satisfied and content,
i will love the ease that any false god like food can provide.
why am i more motivated by the soothing satisfaction of a doughnut
than i am by the thrill of working out at the gym? the answer, in part, is because doughnuts require less
risk
suffering and
loss
than a thirty minute workout.
and i love what takes away pain and suffering more than i love what is
true
good
or lovely.
i 'm called to be real.
i am real if i have been loved
and if i know love to be
better than sorrow,
stronger than death,
truer than any spin.
real is not an ideal because i'm real only after all my parts have been worn off.
real is not an ought because the role i am to play is not expected.
instead it is a gift given by me Maker even if it was at first the markings of my parents, family and culture.
therefore, it is my responsibility to first own what most deeply moves me
and then to live it out for the sake of others...
key to making such decisions is identifying our greatest pleasure...
i worked with a woman in her sixties who grew up in a back hills area of the deep south. she was born into an illiterate pentecostal pastor's family. this family suffered sexual abuse, alcoholism and violence for more than one generation. this woman's abuse was so deep she seemed destined to be swallowed in the mayhem. her story involved so much loss and shame that it brought deep pain just to hear her tell it, let alone imagine what it must have been like for her to live it...
i don't recall ever asking god for the privilege of working with traumatically abused men and women, yet that is what i do. i don't believe God hands out our callings like an army quartermaster dispenses a uniform, rations and a gun to a soldier. God invites us to follow our passions even when we are unaware that they exist.
my character was formed in the midst of family violence, tension and heartache. i came early to the calling of translation and intervention. God called me unto a family and a story of heartache, violence, and oddity. i am called to care for the angry, abused, broken people. and i know joy, the divine yes of God, in the rise of redemption from the hidden, dark shame filled waters of abuse.
what would i rather do:
amble about life with little purpose other than seeking comfort
or engage in my divine yes and no, even if doing so brings heartache?
it's a choice, just as in the matrix, between the red pill and the blue pill.
one will quiet you and let you sleep through the terror of this world,
while the other will awaken you to be a warrior fueled by the passions of redemption.
you and i are meant to know the rush and the arousal of redemption.
it matters little what problem population or place you tackle.
it only matters that something in your soul pulses with eternity
to join the cast of characters that ventures to create glory and beauty out of the ashes of the fall.
it is redemption that lures you to say yes...
redemption-freeing of the soul and the body from death to life,
loosening of injustice,
assaulting disease,
growing of crops for the hungry, (note: i think he meant teaching the hungry to grow their own food..and more.)
comforting the dying,
teaching a child to read,
delivering a warm greeting to a neighbor,
helping child tie her shoe-
is all about saying a divine yes to glory.
and for each of us there is a script written that is contoured to our deepest passions, that reflects our core character and our truest calling.
we are written to be REAL,
and there is something in every heart that knows
when we are
and when we are not.
if we are willing to study our life,
God will give us signs and clues as to our calling.
if we will read
(note: tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth about)
our story,
especially our tragedies,
then we will better understand what forms our passion.
and we'll be better prepared to be real
as we say yes and no.
what is your passion?
CHAPTER 5 - FACING THE TRAGEDY THAT SHAPES YOU (the illuminating plot twist of shame and betrayal)
'why must holy places be dark places? c.s. lewis
heartache awakens us to the whisper of a rumor,
to a hint of the truth that
we're not home.
we spend most of our life pursuing both necessity and luxury,
guided by the presumption that life can be orderly and predictable
if we just try hard enough.
and then tragedy in some form breaks through
and awakens us.
tragedy awakens passion in a way that times of calm and blessing, pleasure and joy, cannot.
the word passion comes from a latin root that means 'suffering'.
it implies intense emotion that energizes a person to move.
we are moved to act when we are in pain.
when we know joy, we may dance and sing,
but over time joy brings the heart to rest.
tragedy, on the other hand, moves the heart to act.
all passion is
founded on pain,
grown through risk,
and marked by the decisions we make in the face of tragedy.
tragedy introduces us to ourselves,
to our deepest passions,
to what it is that receives either our yes or our no.
we move on an invisible track that is grooved more by passion and desire than by any other source of motivation.
we do what we want even when we don't know what we want.
when we opt not to do the thing we think we want,
it's because a greater desire or want is at play.
when we fail to act, we of course act.
and the same is true of choice.
our failure to intentionally choose a course of action is no less a decision.
and everything that we do is fueled by passion and moved forward by an inescapable and pulsing desire that can't be satisfied on this earth..
if i study your patterns of saying yes to this and no to the other thing,
i will see the contours of your deepest passions.
and if i follow the passions of your life,
i will not only gain a greater sense of your past and your future,
but i might hear the name that God will one day call you.
our lives are filled with tragedy.
but far more amazing, we live out our stories surrounded by an angelic host and a multitude of stories that serve to put our lives in context and give meaning to our heartaches.
we must learn to read our passions in order to know the heart of God.
and it is in the midst of our tragedies, both past and present,
that we will see how the waters of suffering have cut our terrain and formed the contours of our character.
more than anything else,
tragedies shape our identity and our character.
we begin reading the tragedy of our story when we recognize it as the rule rather than the exception.
there is not a person on earth who has escaped life's pivotal, inciting incidents-
incidents that are full of sadness, injustice, failure and cruelty;
incidents that require action to change or redeem them.
if we are listening to another person's story,
we must presume that
shalom has been shattered and
that s/he is on a journey to restore balance.
but most of the time as we look at other lives or even our own,
we fail to see the pivotal tragedies that have set into motion the plot of a person's life.
there are two primary reasons for this absence of perspective.
on the one hand some people have so many shattering moments that hearing their story is like walking through a military cemetery with tens of thousands of white crosses and stars of david...
on the other hand, some people have coasted through life with very little hardship.
where are the inciting incidents that define their lives?
most people have some sad and difficult moments, but often those moments occurred long ago and don't seem connected to the life the person is living today. and when we look back, many of those moments don't seem that dramatic or pivotal, so they are easily cast aside.
a woman told me with embarrassment about her longstanding discomfort with her teeth. she seldom smiled, but she was kind and i had not noticed the absence of a side mouthed simile. her elementary school years were full of teasing and cruel remarks about her buckteeth. she is now in her sixties, sill single, and she has lived a good life. but she had not taken stock of the harm done or of what she really wanted to become in the face of such long ago hurt.
she began to take stock of her life when a friend asked her,
'why did you make every man who pursued you pay?
it was the firs question about her singleness that ever pierced this woman's heart.
she was kind to everyone-except a man who wanted to date her.
then she would become critical and distant, withdrawing any affection she might have shown to that point.
not only are we apt to deny the tragedies of our past, but we also are willing to make others pay because of past hurt.
we are combative toward the tragedies that shattered our shalom, or else we're blind to them or merely dismissive of them.
in order to understand our passion, though,
we must have access to the moment of shattering that set into motion
both our core paradigm for how we see life
and our core determination of how we will live it.
tragedy shapes our deepest passions
and our passions shape who we are and what we sill become.
each person living in a fallen world will encounter abandonment, betrayal and shame.
you can't avoid it and neither can i.
it's the necessary context in which we come to grips with how we will live.
it is in the midst of affliction that we become our truest or most false self.
as we do battle against the tragedy of our story,
we determine whom we will fight for and how we will wage the war of life.
it is when we are unnamed through tragedy that we are given the ground to search and dig
until we find the jewel of our identity.
betrayal can name you Worthless rather than Trusting.
it can brand you Friendless when your true name is much closer to faithful.
we lose ourselves and our identity in moments of unnaming,
but we must return to those places to find ourselves and
even more so, to find God.
this concept is hard to grasp because it's the opposite of what we assume to be true.
we think we'll be happy if we can escape the past,
but it is truer that without our past we are vacant beings with bland names and cookie cutter stories.
as we enter the places where we lost our name,
we are most likely to hear the whisper of our new name-
the name God will give us.
each human story involves moments of being unnamed through abandonment, betrayal and shame.
the bible talks about those experiences as
being an orphan (abandoned)
a stranger (betrayed) and
a widow (shamed).
and God reveals Himself to be the person who perfectly meets the needs of each one.
our heavenly
Father is the only one who can rightly name us.
interestingly, in the ancient near east, a father gave his sons and daughters their names.
he created meaning in his children by the name he gave each one.
the mother nurtured and grew the fruit of that meaning.
this custom did not give the father inordinate power;
neither did it diminish the role to the mother.
however, a father stood first in the circle of meaning.
he might not complete the process,
because it required the fecundity of his wife to bring a child to maturity.
but the father began the process.
and when he was absent,
the momentum of meaning in the child's life was
at best slowed or at worst accelerated off course at tragic speeds.
in fact, in the ancient near east, if a boy's father died,
he lost his place, his name, and his inheritance.
he became an orphan-
a boy without protection, without provision and without an identity.
an orphan in the time of the old and new testaments lived a dangerous and lonely existence.
in a culture based on patrimony,
to no longer have a name was tantamount to being a foreigner who had no rights or privileges.
orphans had to scratch out a living in a hard, unsympathetic world.
it is not that different today.
a child who has lost his or her father due to death or divorce,
lives in the tension, if not the torture, between being named and being unnamed.
where was once a father, and he loved me.
he tossed me in the air.
i could feel the stubble on his chin
and smell the old spice as i sat on his lap.
i could feel the beat of his heart as i leaned against his chest.
i once felt safe.
but now i don't
a father can be lost through means other than divorce or death.
some fathers fall into their comfortable chairs
and their flickering televisions blind them to life and to their children.
others are snatched away by the allure of the road
and the effort to pad their wallets.
others never speak-or never listen.
others have shamed us through neglect or abuse.
...granted, few people have glorious fathers. but even a child raise by a good father will likely be harmed by someones else-
a pastor, a teacher, a coach, a mentor.
those 'authority figures' are to mold their proteges' hearts and bodies for glory.
but instead they often orphan us by their abuse, arrogance or dismissal.
it only takes one moment of abandonment to stain the cloth of glory.
and we all know some form of abandonment.
there are many ways of becoming an orphan,
but they all lead to the same end;
a swirl of desire to touch our absent father's face and hear him speak our name.
the desire is more than most of us can bear,
and we turn against that ache by killing all our desire to feel safe in our father's presence.
....God wants us to start asking important questions,
and He uses our fleeting and unquenchable desire to connect with our father
to raise the questions we all need to face.
God wants us to ask the questions of meaning;
'who am i?
what am i made to be and to do?
what is worth dying for?
as we ask, we begin a new journey,
because we give up the superficial answers that seemed to have worked for decades.
asking about meaning shakes the false foundation of how we get by from one day to the next.
the culture that surrounds us offers answers that are meant to satisfy;
you are a consumer who desperately needs a new PDA.
you are a christian father who needs to have a date night with your daughter once a week.
you are a conservative or liberal who votes certain platform issues no matter who the candidate might be.
you faithfully attend church and work in committees and give your time and money to good causes.
those answers move you from today to tomorrow.
but how to they accomplish that?
and why do you accept the answers?
who knows?
you do so because you do so..
we flinch at the idea of asking those tough questions
because we know that if we ask, the answers will change us.
we will be exposed as orphans.
we will be set adrift from the authoritarian culture that serves as a surrogate father.
we will never again be able to rest in the culture's arms,
satisfied that it can serve as the father we never had but always desired.
and being adrift, we are unnamed.
i thought i knew who i was, but now i have no idea.
like abraham, we leave our comfortable ur-
but only if we are willing to follow the madness of faith.
(note: oh Lord help me to cut every other string...totally and hang from Your word alone!)
as we are unnamed by the absence of our father,
we find faith demanding us to begin our journey to touch the face of God.
and it is on that journey that we begin to see
that we have turned to others for self definition, safety and companionship in order
to banish the loneliness of life.
many of our wounds have to do with our friends and our siblings.
friendships bring a harvest of conviviality and joy;
they also can send us into exile.
the psalmist laments the agony of a lost friendship.
'it is not an enemy who taunts me-
i could bear that.
it is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me-
i could have hidden form them.
instead, is is you-my equal,
my companion and close friend.
what good fellowship we enjoyed
as we walked together to the house of God psalm 55.12-4
friendships that go bad sicken the heart.
the psalmist can't walk to the temple without being reminded of the conversations and joy he once knew with his friend.
worship will never be the same again.
the path they shared is now stained with the blood of betrayal.
his friend now wants him destroyed, if not dead.
his heart feels the tremors of terror
and he wants to fly away with the wings of a dove.
the loss of a friendship sends the heart into exile.
it makes us aliens and strangers, wandering in a foreign land.
the restaurants where we used to meet for coffee,
the books we used to read and discuss,
are now part of a country that will never be home again.
the history of associations and connections is severed,
and the stories we shared will now be told to no one...
..betrayal opens our eyes to our core loneliness.
we are alone and no matter how well we may be known by others,
there is no certainty that those we sacrifice for today will love us tomorrow.
friendships are fraught with pain and the potential for betrayal.
when we feel alone, we begin to ask if there is any relationship that can survive sin.
-am i a true friend?
-do i know what it is to care and abide?...
our story is a face to face encounter with all of life's betrayals....
such losses set us on a journey, and
we awaken to being unnamed most profoundly when we suffer the loss of our lover.
the drama of our life begins with our father and mother:
they give us our name and set the parameters of our life's meaning.
the drama is furthered through relationships with friends:
they bring us care, conviviality and protection.
but the most intimate and powerful drama has to do with our lover. our spouse.
(and if we have never been married,
a great portion of our drama relates to the issues of why we have not been pursued and chosen.
we struggle with the heartache and desire related to being a man with a woman or a woman with a man.
one can be widowed in two different ways: death or distance.
death takes our lover to a separate realm and leaves us bereft.
we cannot follow, contact, or enjoy even a moment of pleasure again
with the person we love most.
we are trapped in our memories of joy and our dreams of return...
another form of widowhood is being married to a distant, untrustworthy spouse.
there are many who sleep each night with a living corpse
who will rise the next morning,
brush his or her teeth,
expect breakfast,
and complain about the day ahead.
it is onerous to imagine waking up next to a person whom you don't love
and whom you know doesn't love you.
this is living-death widowhood.
sadly, many marriages die while both spouses are still breathing.
in most cases, in order to survive such emptiness,
many give up their own drama,
turn themselves over to watching other people's lives
(television, sports, church, romance novels)...
(note: exactly what i did...)
and slip away into a vicarious fantasy life.
also, there are single men and women who exist in perpetual widowhood.
they grieve what has never been
and often surrender their present to dread of the future.
the (erratically or serially) promiscuous single
gives his or her body to temporary partners
who are committed only to their own pleasure.
the result is that the most intimate gift one can offer
is given to someone who is guaranteed to rip off the paper and plunder the gift
with no commitment to the present or future.
sex without the prior expression of loyalty and commitment
loses all meaning because it lacks memory of the past or promise of a future.
it is nothing more than a random, chaotic act.
in that sense, all promiscuity is a form of violence.
it may well be mutually agreed upon and highly pleasurable for both participants,
but it lacks trust.
therefore it is torn from commitment and promise.
and there are many singles who live with not only the loss or absence of a partner
but also the memory of past violence
and the anticipation of once again being misused.
it is widowhood,
but without the benefit of a shared past or the anticipated reunion following death.
even the nonpromiscuous single experiences widowhood.
she is single to some degree because she has not been chosen.
in our couple based world, it is agonizing to attend parties, sit at church, or go shopping...
you realize as you climb the stairs to your apartment that no one will turn the light on for you or make sure the house is clear of intruders. ...
all widowhood steals the pleasure of intimacy in the present.
it robs us of the connectedness to another soul
whose naming of us gives us the most intimate sense of being we can find on earth.
there are names my wife calls me in the course of a day that no one else on earth calls me.
and there is a name..that my wife uses and that no one else will ever hear...
when she sings those syllables, i know to listen more deeply and intently
because what follows will be a word from the one who has most called me to my name
and who has the sweetest hints as to what my name will one day be....
in the presence of love, we are rightly named...
when we are named orphan, stranger or widow,
we begin the journey of finding our true name.
will we defy the tragedy of becoming and orphan, a stranger, and a widow
by saying yes to the passions that God has put in us?
to turn away from , rather than embrace and learn from, tragedy is a double loss.
we lose not only in the original harm,
but we add to that harm by closing our heart.
whatever has broken our heart is meant to arouse our anger.
it is from anger that we gain the ability to shout, No!
we are to say no to the harm that befell us
so that it does not add to the cycle of violence that harms others.
if we face our tragedies with an open heart,
we will become more tender toward ourselves and others.
tenderness give us the freedom to speak yes to those who ache and who need the kind touch
of our care.
tragedy prepares us to become who we are meant to be.
I FIND MY NAME AND STORY WHEN I STRUGGLE WITH TRAGEDY.
I WAS UNNAMED BY TRAGEDY,
AND EITHER I WILL LOSE MY NAME COMPLETELY BECAUSE OF IT
OR I WILL FIND MY TRUEST NAME AS I MEET IT FACE TO FACE...
tragedy asks:
'are you willing to do battle with what has broken your heart?
and it calls out:
'will you let God transform you in the midst of your struggle?
both questions set the course for the kind of character and calling
God has written for our life.
CHAPTER 4 - LISTENING TO WHAT MOVES YOU
we read and write our stories for the sake of others and for God's glory.
our stories are not our own.
our stories are not to be read and written merely for our own benefit.
my story is your story and all our stories are for God.
therefore, i am to read, write, edit, tell and celebrate your story as much as my own.
that is the multiplication of story...
61.1 a yes or a no reflects what we value most and determines the end toward which we will move.
all decisions are guided by our projection of ourselves into the future, called our IDEAL SELF.
we each see ourselves as being a certain kind of person with a specific set of values, beliefs and dreams.
in practice, however, we often are not what we want to be but instead end up choosing what others expect us to be.
this is called our OUGHT SELF.
avoid it.
none of us will ever reach the ideal, but we can escape the ought in order to become what's called the
REAL SELF.
the real self is the one that lives honestly and ably in the middle between the ideal and the ought....
passion is what makes us feel most alive. for one person it is reading flannery o'connor, and for another it is watching one's stock portfolio grow. it is not wrong to love literature or to want to make money on investments or to have a passion for both. our ideal image of ourself is inextricably tied to our deepest passion. we will not know our true self unless we can name the passions that are tied to our ideal self...
-what we do is what we really value.
-what we value enough to do tells others what we really believe.
-what we really believe shapes what we will become...
..we always choose what we value most, even when our choice does us harm.
we won't change our behavior until we first recognize what we value most deeply
and then honestly face how our passions reinforce what we really believe.
we can change our beliefs,
but doing so won't alter our behavior until our beliefs transform our values.
we can change what we do, but the changes won't last if our values and convictions are not transformed.
each of us can begin the process of transformation by wrestling with there questions:
-what moves me most deeply?
-what do i most enjoy doing?
-where do i find the greatest pleasure and joy?
what is it about this activity, idea, or person that brings me such a sense of life?..
our ideals often get suffocated by the expectations of others...
the word character originally referred to a stylus or a tool that makes a groove in a piece of wood.
a character came to mean whatever is marked or cut by a stylus,
the pattern that an artist has carved into the raw material.
likewise, initially we are marked by the most dominant and influential people in our life.
however, their marking can't fully form us without our participation.
in fact, we adopt others' expectations of us by making them our own.
ultimately, though, our role is cut by God.
our parents may have a huge hand in shaping our character as we either conform to or defy their desire.
however, God orchestrates all of the influences in our life to blend a symphony of themes that
reflects His purposes...
so we live out a role, or we live according to a set of expectations of who we are and how we will engage with others. the role we play is both given and found. i had the role of being the translator or the messenger between my mother and father. my father was a profoundly uncommunicative man. he would often say to me.
'go calm your mom down. she's upset with something i've done and she needs to talk.
it was my job to provide her with 'perspective' after she described the quarrel they'd just had.
here was the problem:
the perspective i offered might get dad off the hook, but it would make my mom feel guilty and unloved.
on the other hand, if i chose to side with my mom, then i had to convince my dad of the legitimacy of her hurt
it was a no win world , so i found solace in books and, even more, in the staggering power and glory of words. i words i found a yes. in fact it was a divine yes that brought comfort and offered the hope of transformation. in the midst of words, i found my deepest sense of pleasure and passion. where we find our passion-and the things that stoke that passion-will eventually become part of our character...
our role in our family of origin was given to us more than it was chosen by us. but we honed and perfected it as a means to save our families and in turn preserve ourselves. the role we are given is often predictable and well defined, but we seldom act it out in a mechanical fashion. instead we customize the role to our way of being.
so which is it that really moves us-the ideal self or the ought self? the answer is..we live in a state of constant compromise between the two. we sacrifice what is ideal for what is required and vice versa. most of the time it is nearly impossible to discern which self most deeply moves us...
..regarding the real self...
if you want to find wisdom about life, it's often best to read some of the great writing found in children's stories. exactly what does it mean to be real?
margery williams tells us in the velveteen rabbit;
'what is REAL? asked the rabbit one day.
'does it mean having that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?
real isn't how you are made, said the skin horse.
it's a thing that happens to you. when a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.
does it hurt?
sometimes. for he was always truthful.
when you are Real, you don't mind being hurt.
does it happen all at once, like being wound up or bit by bit?
it doesn't happen all at once.
YOU BECOME. (my caps)
it takes a long time.
that's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily,
or who have sharp edges,
or who have to be carefully dept.
generally,
by the time you are Real,
most of your hair has been loved off
and your eyes drop out,
and you get loose in the joints
and very shabby.
but those things don't matter at all,
because once you are Real you can't be ugly,
except to people who don't understand.
so what really moves us?
in light of that passage, it's whatever we love.
if i love the feeling of being full, satisfied and content,
i will love the ease that any false god like food can provide.
why am i more motivated by the soothing satisfaction of a doughnut
than i am by the thrill of working out at the gym? the answer, in part, is because doughnuts require less
risk
suffering and
loss
than a thirty minute workout.
and i love what takes away pain and suffering more than i love what is
true
good
or lovely.
i 'm called to be real.
i am real if i have been loved
and if i know love to be
better than sorrow,
stronger than death,
truer than any spin.
real is not an ideal because i'm real only after all my parts have been worn off.
real is not an ought because the role i am to play is not expected.
instead it is a gift given by me Maker even if it was at first the markings of my parents, family and culture.
therefore, it is my responsibility to first own what most deeply moves me
and then to live it out for the sake of others...
key to making such decisions is identifying our greatest pleasure...
i worked with a woman in her sixties who grew up in a back hills area of the deep south. she was born into an illiterate pentecostal pastor's family. this family suffered sexual abuse, alcoholism and violence for more than one generation. this woman's abuse was so deep she seemed destined to be swallowed in the mayhem. her story involved so much loss and shame that it brought deep pain just to hear her tell it, let alone imagine what it must have been like for her to live it...
i don't recall ever asking god for the privilege of working with traumatically abused men and women, yet that is what i do. i don't believe God hands out our callings like an army quartermaster dispenses a uniform, rations and a gun to a soldier. God invites us to follow our passions even when we are unaware that they exist.
my character was formed in the midst of family violence, tension and heartache. i came early to the calling of translation and intervention. God called me unto a family and a story of heartache, violence, and oddity. i am called to care for the angry, abused, broken people. and i know joy, the divine yes of God, in the rise of redemption from the hidden, dark shame filled waters of abuse.
what would i rather do:
amble about life with little purpose other than seeking comfort
or engage in my divine yes and no, even if doing so brings heartache?
it's a choice, just as in the matrix, between the red pill and the blue pill.
one will quiet you and let you sleep through the terror of this world,
while the other will awaken you to be a warrior fueled by the passions of redemption.
you and i are meant to know the rush and the arousal of redemption.
it matters little what problem population or place you tackle.
it only matters that something in your soul pulses with eternity
to join the cast of characters that ventures to create glory and beauty out of the ashes of the fall.
it is redemption that lures you to say yes...
redemption-freeing of the soul and the body from death to life,
loosening of injustice,
assaulting disease,
growing of crops for the hungry, (note: i think he meant teaching the hungry to grow their own food..and more.)
comforting the dying,
teaching a child to read,
delivering a warm greeting to a neighbor,
helping child tie her shoe-
is all about saying a divine yes to glory.
and for each of us there is a script written that is contoured to our deepest passions, that reflects our core character and our truest calling.
we are written to be REAL,
and there is something in every heart that knows
when we are
and when we are not.
if we are willing to study our life,
God will give us signs and clues as to our calling.
if we will read
(note: tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth about)
our story,
especially our tragedies,
then we will better understand what forms our passion.
and we'll be better prepared to be real
as we say yes and no.
what is your passion?
CHAPTER 5 - FACING THE TRAGEDY THAT SHAPES YOU (the illuminating plot twist of shame and betrayal)
'why must holy places be dark places? c.s. lewis
heartache awakens us to the whisper of a rumor,
to a hint of the truth that
we're not home.
we spend most of our life pursuing both necessity and luxury,
guided by the presumption that life can be orderly and predictable
if we just try hard enough.
and then tragedy in some form breaks through
and awakens us.
tragedy awakens passion in a way that times of calm and blessing, pleasure and joy, cannot.
the word passion comes from a latin root that means 'suffering'.
it implies intense emotion that energizes a person to move.
we are moved to act when we are in pain.
when we know joy, we may dance and sing,
but over time joy brings the heart to rest.
tragedy, on the other hand, moves the heart to act.
all passion is
founded on pain,
grown through risk,
and marked by the decisions we make in the face of tragedy.
tragedy introduces us to ourselves,
to our deepest passions,
to what it is that receives either our yes or our no.
we move on an invisible track that is grooved more by passion and desire than by any other source of motivation.
we do what we want even when we don't know what we want.
when we opt not to do the thing we think we want,
it's because a greater desire or want is at play.
when we fail to act, we of course act.
and the same is true of choice.
our failure to intentionally choose a course of action is no less a decision.
and everything that we do is fueled by passion and moved forward by an inescapable and pulsing desire that can't be satisfied on this earth..
if i study your patterns of saying yes to this and no to the other thing,
i will see the contours of your deepest passions.
and if i follow the passions of your life,
i will not only gain a greater sense of your past and your future,
but i might hear the name that God will one day call you.
our lives are filled with tragedy.
but far more amazing, we live out our stories surrounded by an angelic host and a multitude of stories that serve to put our lives in context and give meaning to our heartaches.
we must learn to read our passions in order to know the heart of God.
and it is in the midst of our tragedies, both past and present,
that we will see how the waters of suffering have cut our terrain and formed the contours of our character.
more than anything else,
tragedies shape our identity and our character.
we begin reading the tragedy of our story when we recognize it as the rule rather than the exception.
there is not a person on earth who has escaped life's pivotal, inciting incidents-
incidents that are full of sadness, injustice, failure and cruelty;
incidents that require action to change or redeem them.
if we are listening to another person's story,
we must presume that
shalom has been shattered and
that s/he is on a journey to restore balance.
but most of the time as we look at other lives or even our own,
we fail to see the pivotal tragedies that have set into motion the plot of a person's life.
there are two primary reasons for this absence of perspective.
on the one hand some people have so many shattering moments that hearing their story is like walking through a military cemetery with tens of thousands of white crosses and stars of david...
on the other hand, some people have coasted through life with very little hardship.
where are the inciting incidents that define their lives?
most people have some sad and difficult moments, but often those moments occurred long ago and don't seem connected to the life the person is living today. and when we look back, many of those moments don't seem that dramatic or pivotal, so they are easily cast aside.
a woman told me with embarrassment about her longstanding discomfort with her teeth. she seldom smiled, but she was kind and i had not noticed the absence of a side mouthed simile. her elementary school years were full of teasing and cruel remarks about her buckteeth. she is now in her sixties, sill single, and she has lived a good life. but she had not taken stock of the harm done or of what she really wanted to become in the face of such long ago hurt.
she began to take stock of her life when a friend asked her,
'why did you make every man who pursued you pay?
it was the firs question about her singleness that ever pierced this woman's heart.
she was kind to everyone-except a man who wanted to date her.
then she would become critical and distant, withdrawing any affection she might have shown to that point.
not only are we apt to deny the tragedies of our past, but we also are willing to make others pay because of past hurt.
we are combative toward the tragedies that shattered our shalom, or else we're blind to them or merely dismissive of them.
in order to understand our passion, though,
we must have access to the moment of shattering that set into motion
both our core paradigm for how we see life
and our core determination of how we will live it.
tragedy shapes our deepest passions
and our passions shape who we are and what we sill become.
each person living in a fallen world will encounter abandonment, betrayal and shame.
you can't avoid it and neither can i.
it's the necessary context in which we come to grips with how we will live.
it is in the midst of affliction that we become our truest or most false self.
as we do battle against the tragedy of our story,
we determine whom we will fight for and how we will wage the war of life.
it is when we are unnamed through tragedy that we are given the ground to search and dig
until we find the jewel of our identity.
betrayal can name you Worthless rather than Trusting.
it can brand you Friendless when your true name is much closer to faithful.
we lose ourselves and our identity in moments of unnaming,
but we must return to those places to find ourselves and
even more so, to find God.
this concept is hard to grasp because it's the opposite of what we assume to be true.
we think we'll be happy if we can escape the past,
but it is truer that without our past we are vacant beings with bland names and cookie cutter stories.
as we enter the places where we lost our name,
we are most likely to hear the whisper of our new name-
the name God will give us.
each human story involves moments of being unnamed through abandonment, betrayal and shame.
the bible talks about those experiences as
being an orphan (abandoned)
a stranger (betrayed) and
a widow (shamed).
and God reveals Himself to be the person who perfectly meets the needs of each one.
our heavenly
Father is the only one who can rightly name us.
interestingly, in the ancient near east, a father gave his sons and daughters their names.
he created meaning in his children by the name he gave each one.
the mother nurtured and grew the fruit of that meaning.
this custom did not give the father inordinate power;
neither did it diminish the role to the mother.
however, a father stood first in the circle of meaning.
he might not complete the process,
because it required the fecundity of his wife to bring a child to maturity.
but the father began the process.
and when he was absent,
the momentum of meaning in the child's life was
at best slowed or at worst accelerated off course at tragic speeds.
in fact, in the ancient near east, if a boy's father died,
he lost his place, his name, and his inheritance.
he became an orphan-
a boy without protection, without provision and without an identity.
an orphan in the time of the old and new testaments lived a dangerous and lonely existence.
in a culture based on patrimony,
to no longer have a name was tantamount to being a foreigner who had no rights or privileges.
orphans had to scratch out a living in a hard, unsympathetic world.
it is not that different today.
a child who has lost his or her father due to death or divorce,
lives in the tension, if not the torture, between being named and being unnamed.
where was once a father, and he loved me.
he tossed me in the air.
i could feel the stubble on his chin
and smell the old spice as i sat on his lap.
i could feel the beat of his heart as i leaned against his chest.
i once felt safe.
but now i don't
a father can be lost through means other than divorce or death.
some fathers fall into their comfortable chairs
and their flickering televisions blind them to life and to their children.
others are snatched away by the allure of the road
and the effort to pad their wallets.
others never speak-or never listen.
others have shamed us through neglect or abuse.
...granted, few people have glorious fathers. but even a child raise by a good father will likely be harmed by someones else-
a pastor, a teacher, a coach, a mentor.
those 'authority figures' are to mold their proteges' hearts and bodies for glory.
but instead they often orphan us by their abuse, arrogance or dismissal.
it only takes one moment of abandonment to stain the cloth of glory.
and we all know some form of abandonment.
there are many ways of becoming an orphan,
but they all lead to the same end;
a swirl of desire to touch our absent father's face and hear him speak our name.
the desire is more than most of us can bear,
and we turn against that ache by killing all our desire to feel safe in our father's presence.
....God wants us to start asking important questions,
and He uses our fleeting and unquenchable desire to connect with our father
to raise the questions we all need to face.
God wants us to ask the questions of meaning;
'who am i?
what am i made to be and to do?
what is worth dying for?
as we ask, we begin a new journey,
because we give up the superficial answers that seemed to have worked for decades.
asking about meaning shakes the false foundation of how we get by from one day to the next.
the culture that surrounds us offers answers that are meant to satisfy;
you are a consumer who desperately needs a new PDA.
you are a christian father who needs to have a date night with your daughter once a week.
you are a conservative or liberal who votes certain platform issues no matter who the candidate might be.
you faithfully attend church and work in committees and give your time and money to good causes.
those answers move you from today to tomorrow.
but how to they accomplish that?
and why do you accept the answers?
who knows?
you do so because you do so..
we flinch at the idea of asking those tough questions
because we know that if we ask, the answers will change us.
we will be exposed as orphans.
we will be set adrift from the authoritarian culture that serves as a surrogate father.
we will never again be able to rest in the culture's arms,
satisfied that it can serve as the father we never had but always desired.
and being adrift, we are unnamed.
i thought i knew who i was, but now i have no idea.
like abraham, we leave our comfortable ur-
but only if we are willing to follow the madness of faith.
(note: oh Lord help me to cut every other string...totally and hang from Your word alone!)
as we are unnamed by the absence of our father,
we find faith demanding us to begin our journey to touch the face of God.
and it is on that journey that we begin to see
that we have turned to others for self definition, safety and companionship in order
to banish the loneliness of life.
many of our wounds have to do with our friends and our siblings.
friendships bring a harvest of conviviality and joy;
they also can send us into exile.
the psalmist laments the agony of a lost friendship.
'it is not an enemy who taunts me-
i could bear that.
it is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me-
i could have hidden form them.
instead, is is you-my equal,
my companion and close friend.
what good fellowship we enjoyed
as we walked together to the house of God psalm 55.12-4
friendships that go bad sicken the heart.
the psalmist can't walk to the temple without being reminded of the conversations and joy he once knew with his friend.
worship will never be the same again.
the path they shared is now stained with the blood of betrayal.
his friend now wants him destroyed, if not dead.
his heart feels the tremors of terror
and he wants to fly away with the wings of a dove.
the loss of a friendship sends the heart into exile.
it makes us aliens and strangers, wandering in a foreign land.
the restaurants where we used to meet for coffee,
the books we used to read and discuss,
are now part of a country that will never be home again.
the history of associations and connections is severed,
and the stories we shared will now be told to no one...
..betrayal opens our eyes to our core loneliness.
we are alone and no matter how well we may be known by others,
there is no certainty that those we sacrifice for today will love us tomorrow.
friendships are fraught with pain and the potential for betrayal.
when we feel alone, we begin to ask if there is any relationship that can survive sin.
-am i a true friend?
-do i know what it is to care and abide?...
our story is a face to face encounter with all of life's betrayals....
such losses set us on a journey, and
we awaken to being unnamed most profoundly when we suffer the loss of our lover.
the drama of our life begins with our father and mother:
they give us our name and set the parameters of our life's meaning.
the drama is furthered through relationships with friends:
they bring us care, conviviality and protection.
but the most intimate and powerful drama has to do with our lover. our spouse.
(and if we have never been married,
a great portion of our drama relates to the issues of why we have not been pursued and chosen.
we struggle with the heartache and desire related to being a man with a woman or a woman with a man.
one can be widowed in two different ways: death or distance.
death takes our lover to a separate realm and leaves us bereft.
we cannot follow, contact, or enjoy even a moment of pleasure again
with the person we love most.
we are trapped in our memories of joy and our dreams of return...
another form of widowhood is being married to a distant, untrustworthy spouse.
there are many who sleep each night with a living corpse
who will rise the next morning,
brush his or her teeth,
expect breakfast,
and complain about the day ahead.
it is onerous to imagine waking up next to a person whom you don't love
and whom you know doesn't love you.
this is living-death widowhood.
sadly, many marriages die while both spouses are still breathing.
in most cases, in order to survive such emptiness,
many give up their own drama,
turn themselves over to watching other people's lives
(television, sports, church, romance novels)...
(note: exactly what i did...)
and slip away into a vicarious fantasy life.
also, there are single men and women who exist in perpetual widowhood.
they grieve what has never been
and often surrender their present to dread of the future.
the (erratically or serially) promiscuous single
gives his or her body to temporary partners
who are committed only to their own pleasure.
the result is that the most intimate gift one can offer
is given to someone who is guaranteed to rip off the paper and plunder the gift
with no commitment to the present or future.
sex without the prior expression of loyalty and commitment
loses all meaning because it lacks memory of the past or promise of a future.
it is nothing more than a random, chaotic act.
in that sense, all promiscuity is a form of violence.
it may well be mutually agreed upon and highly pleasurable for both participants,
but it lacks trust.
therefore it is torn from commitment and promise.
and there are many singles who live with not only the loss or absence of a partner
but also the memory of past violence
and the anticipation of once again being misused.
it is widowhood,
but without the benefit of a shared past or the anticipated reunion following death.
even the nonpromiscuous single experiences widowhood.
she is single to some degree because she has not been chosen.
in our couple based world, it is agonizing to attend parties, sit at church, or go shopping...
you realize as you climb the stairs to your apartment that no one will turn the light on for you or make sure the house is clear of intruders. ...
all widowhood steals the pleasure of intimacy in the present.
it robs us of the connectedness to another soul
whose naming of us gives us the most intimate sense of being we can find on earth.
there are names my wife calls me in the course of a day that no one else on earth calls me.
and there is a name..that my wife uses and that no one else will ever hear...
when she sings those syllables, i know to listen more deeply and intently
because what follows will be a word from the one who has most called me to my name
and who has the sweetest hints as to what my name will one day be....
in the presence of love, we are rightly named...
when we are named orphan, stranger or widow,
we begin the journey of finding our true name.
will we defy the tragedy of becoming and orphan, a stranger, and a widow
by saying yes to the passions that God has put in us?
to turn away from , rather than embrace and learn from, tragedy is a double loss.
we lose not only in the original harm,
but we add to that harm by closing our heart.
whatever has broken our heart is meant to arouse our anger.
it is from anger that we gain the ability to shout, No!
we are to say no to the harm that befell us
so that it does not add to the cycle of violence that harms others.
if we face our tragedies with an open heart,
we will become more tender toward ourselves and others.
tenderness give us the freedom to speak yes to those who ache and who need the kind touch
of our care.
tragedy prepares us to become who we are meant to be.
I FIND MY NAME AND STORY WHEN I STRUGGLE WITH TRAGEDY.
I WAS UNNAMED BY TRAGEDY,
AND EITHER I WILL LOSE MY NAME COMPLETELY BECAUSE OF IT
OR I WILL FIND MY TRUEST NAME AS I MEET IT FACE TO FACE...
tragedy asks:
'are you willing to do battle with what has broken your heart?
and it calls out:
'will you let God transform you in the midst of your struggle?
both questions set the course for the kind of character and calling
God has written for our life.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
12.1.2012 PSALM 119.82 MINE EYES FAIL FOR THY WORD
the following taken from spurgeon's 'treasury of david'
psalm 119.82 -
my soul fainteth for Thy salvation:
but i hope in Thy word.
his eyes gave out with eagerly gazing for the kind appearance of the Lord, while his heat in weariness cried out for speedy comfort. to read the word till the eyes can no longer see is but a small thing compared with watching for the fulfilment of the promise till the inner eyes of expectancy begin to grow dim with hope deferred. we may not set times to God, for this is to limit the Holy One of Israel; yet we may urge our suit with importunity, and make fervent enquiry as to why the promise tarries. david sought no comfort except that which comes from god; his question is,
'when wilt THOU comfort me?
if help does not come from heaven it will never come at all;
all the good man's hopes look that way,
he has not a glance to dart in any other direction.
this experience of waiting and fainting is well known by full grown saints,
and it teaches them many precious lessons which they would never learn by any other means.
among the choice results is this one-
that the body rises into sympathy with the soul,
both heart and flesh cry out for the living God,
and even the eyes find a tongue,
'saying, when wilt Thou comfort me?
it must be an intense longing which is not satisfied to express itself by the lips,
but speaks with the eyes,
by those eyes failing through intense watching.
eyes can speak right eloquently;
they use both mutes and liquids and can sometimes say more than tongues.
david says in another place,
'the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping' psalm 6.8
specially are our eyes eloquent when they begin to fail with weariness and woe.
a humble eye lifted up to heaven in silent prayer may flash such flame as shall melt the bolts which bar the entrance of vocal prayer,
and so heaven shall be taken by storm with the artillery of tears.
blessed are the eyes that are strained in looking after God.
the eyes of the Lord will see to it that such eyes do not actually fail.
how much better to watch for the Lord with aching eyes
than to have them sparking at the glitter of vanity. spurgeon
'for thy word' the children of god make more of a promise than others do;
and that upon a double account-
partly, because they value the blessing promised;
partly, because they are satisfied with the assurance given by god's word;
so that, whereas others pass by these things with a careless eye,
their souls are lifted up to the constant and earnest expectation of the blessing promised.
it is said of the hireling,
that he must have his wages before the sun go down,
because he is poor
and hath set his heart upon it. deuteronomy 24.15
or, as it is in the hebrew,
lifted up his soul to it,
meaning thereby both his desire and hope.
he esteemeth his wages,
for it is the solace of his labours,
and the maintenance of his life
and he assuredly expectedth it,
upon the promise and covenant of him who setteth him awork.
so it is with the children of god;
they esteem the blessings promised,
and God's word giveth them good assurance that they do not wait upon Him in vain. thomas manton
'saying, when' the same spirit of faith which teaches a man to cry earnestly,
teaches him to wait patiently;
for as it assures him that mercy is in thee Lord's hand,
so it assures him, it will come forth in the Lord's time. john mason, 1688
'when wilt Thou comfort me? it is a customable manner of God's working with His children,
to delay the answer to their prayers
and to suspend the performance of his promises;
not because he is unwilling to give,
but because He will have them better prepared to receive.
tardius dando quod pettimus instantia nobis orationis indicit (written by chrysostom, one of the church fathers
-meaning he is slow to give that which we seek,
that we should not seek slowly,
but may be awakened to instancy and fervency in prayer,
which he knows to be the service most acceptable unto Him
and most profitable unto ourselves. william cowper
let us complain not of God
but to God.
complainst of God give vent to murmuring;
but complaints to God, to faith hope and patience. thomas manton
the prophet, to prevent it from being supposed that he was too effeminate and faint hearted,
intimates that his fainting was not without sufficient plainness,
that he was for a long time, as it were, cast off and forsaken. john calvin
the people of God are sometimes very disconsolate and need comforting,
through the prevalence of sin,
the power of satan's temptations,
the hidings of God's face,
and a variety of afflictions,
when they apply to god for comfort,
who only can comfort them,
and who has set times to do it;
but they are apt to think it long and enquire,
as david her,
when it will be. john gill
a poor woman had been long time questioning herself,
and doubting of her salvation;
when at last the Lord made it good unto her soul THAT CHRIST WAS HER OWN
(note: ! :)! oh happy day! )
then her minister said unto her,
the Lord will not always give His children a cordial,
but He hath it ready for them when they are fainting. thomas hooker
comfort is necessary because a great part of our temptations lies in troubles
as well as allurements.
sense of pain may discompose us
as well as pleasure entice us.
the world is a persecuting
as well as a tempting world.
the flesh troubleth
as well as enticeth.
the devil is a disquieting
as well as an ensnaring devil.
but yet comfort,
though necessary
is not so necessary
as holiness.
therefore, though comfort is not to be despise,
yet sincere love to God is to be preferred,
and, though it be not dispensed
so certainly, so constantly, and in so high a degree, in this world,
we must be contented.
the Spirit's comforting work is oftener interrupted than the work of holiness;
yet so much as is necessary to enable us to serve God in this world,
we shall assuredly receive. thomas manton
psalm 119.82 -
my soul fainteth for Thy salvation:
but i hope in Thy word.
his eyes gave out with eagerly gazing for the kind appearance of the Lord, while his heat in weariness cried out for speedy comfort. to read the word till the eyes can no longer see is but a small thing compared with watching for the fulfilment of the promise till the inner eyes of expectancy begin to grow dim with hope deferred. we may not set times to God, for this is to limit the Holy One of Israel; yet we may urge our suit with importunity, and make fervent enquiry as to why the promise tarries. david sought no comfort except that which comes from god; his question is,
'when wilt THOU comfort me?
if help does not come from heaven it will never come at all;
all the good man's hopes look that way,
he has not a glance to dart in any other direction.
this experience of waiting and fainting is well known by full grown saints,
and it teaches them many precious lessons which they would never learn by any other means.
among the choice results is this one-
that the body rises into sympathy with the soul,
both heart and flesh cry out for the living God,
and even the eyes find a tongue,
'saying, when wilt Thou comfort me?
it must be an intense longing which is not satisfied to express itself by the lips,
but speaks with the eyes,
by those eyes failing through intense watching.
eyes can speak right eloquently;
they use both mutes and liquids and can sometimes say more than tongues.
david says in another place,
'the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping' psalm 6.8
specially are our eyes eloquent when they begin to fail with weariness and woe.
a humble eye lifted up to heaven in silent prayer may flash such flame as shall melt the bolts which bar the entrance of vocal prayer,
and so heaven shall be taken by storm with the artillery of tears.
blessed are the eyes that are strained in looking after God.
the eyes of the Lord will see to it that such eyes do not actually fail.
how much better to watch for the Lord with aching eyes
than to have them sparking at the glitter of vanity. spurgeon
'for thy word' the children of god make more of a promise than others do;
and that upon a double account-
partly, because they value the blessing promised;
partly, because they are satisfied with the assurance given by god's word;
so that, whereas others pass by these things with a careless eye,
their souls are lifted up to the constant and earnest expectation of the blessing promised.
it is said of the hireling,
that he must have his wages before the sun go down,
because he is poor
and hath set his heart upon it. deuteronomy 24.15
or, as it is in the hebrew,
lifted up his soul to it,
meaning thereby both his desire and hope.
he esteemeth his wages,
for it is the solace of his labours,
and the maintenance of his life
and he assuredly expectedth it,
upon the promise and covenant of him who setteth him awork.
so it is with the children of god;
they esteem the blessings promised,
and God's word giveth them good assurance that they do not wait upon Him in vain. thomas manton
'saying, when' the same spirit of faith which teaches a man to cry earnestly,
teaches him to wait patiently;
for as it assures him that mercy is in thee Lord's hand,
so it assures him, it will come forth in the Lord's time. john mason, 1688
'when wilt Thou comfort me? it is a customable manner of God's working with His children,
to delay the answer to their prayers
and to suspend the performance of his promises;
not because he is unwilling to give,
but because He will have them better prepared to receive.
tardius dando quod pettimus instantia nobis orationis indicit (written by chrysostom, one of the church fathers
-meaning he is slow to give that which we seek,
that we should not seek slowly,
but may be awakened to instancy and fervency in prayer,
which he knows to be the service most acceptable unto Him
and most profitable unto ourselves. william cowper
let us complain not of God
but to God.
complainst of God give vent to murmuring;
but complaints to God, to faith hope and patience. thomas manton
the prophet, to prevent it from being supposed that he was too effeminate and faint hearted,
intimates that his fainting was not without sufficient plainness,
that he was for a long time, as it were, cast off and forsaken. john calvin
the people of God are sometimes very disconsolate and need comforting,
through the prevalence of sin,
the power of satan's temptations,
the hidings of God's face,
and a variety of afflictions,
when they apply to god for comfort,
who only can comfort them,
and who has set times to do it;
but they are apt to think it long and enquire,
as david her,
when it will be. john gill
a poor woman had been long time questioning herself,
and doubting of her salvation;
when at last the Lord made it good unto her soul THAT CHRIST WAS HER OWN
(note: ! :)! oh happy day! )
then her minister said unto her,
the Lord will not always give His children a cordial,
but He hath it ready for them when they are fainting. thomas hooker
comfort is necessary because a great part of our temptations lies in troubles
as well as allurements.
sense of pain may discompose us
as well as pleasure entice us.
the world is a persecuting
as well as a tempting world.
the flesh troubleth
as well as enticeth.
the devil is a disquieting
as well as an ensnaring devil.
but yet comfort,
though necessary
is not so necessary
as holiness.
therefore, though comfort is not to be despise,
yet sincere love to God is to be preferred,
and, though it be not dispensed
so certainly, so constantly, and in so high a degree, in this world,
we must be contented.
the Spirit's comforting work is oftener interrupted than the work of holiness;
yet so much as is necessary to enable us to serve God in this world,
we shall assuredly receive. thomas manton
12.1.2012 CONSECRATION V
i had a hell (satan was beating me about the head furiously most every minute. his goal: QUIT) of a battle yesterday completing the appointed 40 hours of responsibilities. this centered around my, apparently, vain attempt to make wool skin. but God gave perseverance through much prayer while working to 'stay at it' even though the 'babe was stillborn'.
this a.m. He strengthened my beaten up, flagging faith and if not giving me wings like eagles or the ability to run, He graciously put in my heart to keep going..starting the next round monday morning. as His Spirit hovered the following came from the heart onto the prayer journal page.
'thank You Lord for helping me submit to You and keep flailing away vainly, mentally and physically, at the unknown task of making a usable wool skin to warm my frozen body. (Lord, You are far better than warmth.) Lord, in this, so far seeming vain project...having no wisdom nor ability thereto..i still commit myself and it completely to You dear Lord. do as You will with us...for THIS is what i want to want the most in this world...knead this into my being by Your grace!...to desire ONLY You!..wool skin or no.
i need You not wool skin.
You are far better to me than
all the earthly warmth to my frozen body it could lavish.
i desire You,
-to be Your lover (that is Your obedient slave)
-to be addicted to Your obedient worship in my life,
-to be completely satisfied with Your presence in my heart
-experienced or off my limited radar-
-Your help and sustenance or (apparent) lack thereof
- in the face of
unending earthly misery,
pain
and the utter rejection of little me
by all means and all men,
near and far,
closest kin to deadliest enemy
and all the devils of a thousand hells..
-over the smallest good thing without You.
i want to desire You and Your will whatever that may be.
(that is i want to OBEY YOU, my Lord CONSTANTLY, IN EVERYTHING)
in Jesus, i thank You, amen.
help my dead carcass of a soul seek You at all times, in every errant moment..
seeking first Your kingdom and righteousness.
Lord, are You changing my inner homeostasis.
(a relatively stable state of equilibrium
or a tendency toward such a state
between different, independent groups
ie. in this case the holy trinity has its foot constantly on the neck of my self in spite of the world system that ignores God and satan and all the demons of hell tormenting and tantalizing -
all in one setting.)
Lord God come in and sup with me and keep the evil three out in the cold.
change the homeostasis from glory to glory, even by the Spirit, the Lord,
from a constant lament,
'ay me! who is there?'
(was the psalmist right when he said, 'no man cares for my soul')
to the continual, overflowing joy!,
'Ahhhhhh, You are here!'
this a.m. He strengthened my beaten up, flagging faith and if not giving me wings like eagles or the ability to run, He graciously put in my heart to keep going..starting the next round monday morning. as His Spirit hovered the following came from the heart onto the prayer journal page.
'thank You Lord for helping me submit to You and keep flailing away vainly, mentally and physically, at the unknown task of making a usable wool skin to warm my frozen body. (Lord, You are far better than warmth.) Lord, in this, so far seeming vain project...having no wisdom nor ability thereto..i still commit myself and it completely to You dear Lord. do as You will with us...for THIS is what i want to want the most in this world...knead this into my being by Your grace!...to desire ONLY You!..wool skin or no.
i need You not wool skin.
You are far better to me than
all the earthly warmth to my frozen body it could lavish.
i desire You,
-to be Your lover (that is Your obedient slave)
-to be addicted to Your obedient worship in my life,
-to be completely satisfied with Your presence in my heart
-experienced or off my limited radar-
-Your help and sustenance or (apparent) lack thereof
- in the face of
unending earthly misery,
pain
and the utter rejection of little me
by all means and all men,
near and far,
closest kin to deadliest enemy
and all the devils of a thousand hells..
-over the smallest good thing without You.
i want to desire You and Your will whatever that may be.
(that is i want to OBEY YOU, my Lord CONSTANTLY, IN EVERYTHING)
in Jesus, i thank You, amen.
help my dead carcass of a soul seek You at all times, in every errant moment..
seeking first Your kingdom and righteousness.
Lord, are You changing my inner homeostasis.
(a relatively stable state of equilibrium
or a tendency toward such a state
between different, independent groups
ie. in this case the holy trinity has its foot constantly on the neck of my self in spite of the world system that ignores God and satan and all the demons of hell tormenting and tantalizing -
all in one setting.)
Lord God come in and sup with me and keep the evil three out in the cold.
change the homeostasis from glory to glory, even by the Spirit, the Lord,
from a constant lament,
'ay me! who is there?'
(was the psalmist right when he said, 'no man cares for my soul')
to the continual, overflowing joy!,
'Ahhhhhh, You are here!'
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