yesterday i shared a bit of my experience recently with 'consecration'..you know 'everything for God and nothing for me'. i had to laugh. i was not long into my tale and he began interjecting his reaction. he said, almost exactly, all the things satan had said as he stood on my shoulder and whispered sweet nothings about it in my ear. it probably won't last long. my good .50 invested in gary larsen's 'far side' humor now lies in the recycling center at waste management though. amazing! i haven't been to the periodical reading room at the library where i used to voraciously devour sports info! God did it, not me..that's all i can say. but you wait. next week, satan willing i will have gone through at least 2 gallons of ice cream by then and drunk..and sucked again on the few bitter dregs of this world offers. he also waves in front of me the picture of soon laughing with my pastor friend about the 'over the top' insanity of thinking God would lead anyone to be so stupid and weird as to give up everything else but Him.
i'll look back on this little speed bump on the way to hell as a near encounter with the psychiatric hospital...but i just though ..but i just thought that the old nagging emptiness that insanely thinks to be 'filled' with anything but Him will have become a broken down shack of a refuge in an empty, meaningless world in which i have relegated God back to a part time, whenever-i-can-fit-Him-in basis rather than the source and end of all i am and do.
i know one thing, as crazy as it seems, that i'm thinking i'll never really be satisfied when He does not completely fill all...but it's insane really! ask anyone..ask a hundred, a thousand, a million, 'how would you like to live a life in which you never do what you want but only what God wants?' the more you ask, the more you will know you are crazy to even consider such an asinine thing!
i can't 'do' consecration. help me Lord. i'm soon...any moment...going to crash and burn. i can't hold on to You this way..doing everything You want and nothing else. i'm too weak. it's either 100% You and the deepest, most complete contentment i've ever known (along with being considered weird, insane, over the edge by all the human beings around me...as they start to realize what's going on )...or it is settling for deep poverty, palpable meaninglessness, wretchedly gumming the 'sweet dregs' of everyone and everything other than You...and settling, in the bargain, for the soul numbing/destroying pain of doing the stupid (characterized by, indicative of, or proceeding from mental (in this case, spiritual) dullness; foolish, senseless)-from an eternal perspective-things i wanna do.
the choice looms before me:
be dismissed as insane or
read and obey the 'how to be your own selfish pig' manual.
i'm so afraid i will choose the easy...
how incredibly much i fear and hate being laughed at and scorned by earthlings.
help me
have mercy on my poor, wretched soul, Lord Jesus
jeremiah 2.13-
'My people have committed two evils
they have forsaken Me,
the fountain of living waters,
to hew for themselves cisterns
broken cisterns
that can hold no water.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
7.26.2012 THE PRAYER OF TRANSFORMATION
i meet occasionally with a friend for prayer, but pat seems to be into them. she has given me other materials and there is no inner witness. she gave me this along with a testimony of a change that had occurred in connection with this. i usually look over what she gives and read this a few days later. the first statement spoke to me for recently it seems that the Lord is revealing to me a deep inner anger. i have been asking the Lord to reveal my sin and take this as one of many indications that He is doing so in an ongoing way. i have been puzzling over this and sort of stumbling around and groping in the darkness to try and understand this. the first statement i read i sensed that God may use this in my desire to get to the root of this, understand it and with His help come to hate and repent and forsake it. i share this with the prayer that if there is someone else who can possibly be helped by this that the Lord might direct their attention to it. may God use it to set me free from anger and any other hidden sins i do not yet recognize.
as i said above, i have problems with parts but without editing here is the prayer as written..
heavenly Father search my heart and discover the origin of this thought or feeling of ------------
go to the very root of my being and resolve this origin in order to bring every aspect of my spirit, soul and body into harmony with Your truth and my true identity in Christ.
search through every generation, every cellular (?) memory, every action and every expression of this thought/feeling of -------------------
heal me completely according to the finished work of Jesus until Your life, light, love, truth, righteousness, peace and joy empower me to completely forgive myself for every
inappropriate expression,
distorted perception, and
destructive behavior,
and forgive every person, place or circumstance that has contributed to this thought or feeling of ---------
i choose to express my love for myself and my right as a child of God by allowing every mental, emotional, spiritual and physical disease and inappropriate behavior based on this root problem recorded in my DNA to be transformed.
i choose being------
i choose feeling---------
i am-----------
it is done! it is finished; it is mine by the resurrection of Jesus!
thank You, Holy Spirit for the grace to live in the fullness of my identity as a child of God and a new creation in Christ.
i give You thanks, Jehovah my Healer, who is good and only good. you are my God, my strength, my hope and my salvation!
express your personal love and appreciation to Him!
as i said above, i have problems with parts but without editing here is the prayer as written..
heavenly Father search my heart and discover the origin of this thought or feeling of ------------
go to the very root of my being and resolve this origin in order to bring every aspect of my spirit, soul and body into harmony with Your truth and my true identity in Christ.
search through every generation, every cellular (?) memory, every action and every expression of this thought/feeling of -------------------
heal me completely according to the finished work of Jesus until Your life, light, love, truth, righteousness, peace and joy empower me to completely forgive myself for every
inappropriate expression,
distorted perception, and
destructive behavior,
and forgive every person, place or circumstance that has contributed to this thought or feeling of ---------
i choose to express my love for myself and my right as a child of God by allowing every mental, emotional, spiritual and physical disease and inappropriate behavior based on this root problem recorded in my DNA to be transformed.
i choose being------
i choose feeling---------
i am-----------
it is done! it is finished; it is mine by the resurrection of Jesus!
thank You, Holy Spirit for the grace to live in the fullness of my identity as a child of God and a new creation in Christ.
i give You thanks, Jehovah my Healer, who is good and only good. you are my God, my strength, my hope and my salvation!
express your personal love and appreciation to Him!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
7.25.2012 PSALM 109: TO BE SUNG BY THE PERSECUTED CHURCH
the heading 'for the choir director' means that this is to be sung at the temple of God...and when there is no temple...when the temple is destroyed or non-existent in any place on earth... IT IS TO BE SUNG OR CHANTED, by any disciple of christ individually or as a church (2 or more disciples gathered), TO THE LIVING GOD who in the person of Jesus Christ lives within by His Spirit.
it is to be sung by disciples, wherever they may be on earth, when they are under active attack....as Jesus says, 'on account of Me'. it is one of what people who study the bible call an imprecatory (to invoke or call down evil or curse, as upon a person) psalm. several others i have found recently are psalms 74 and 79. i believe there are others. they are for the time until the end of what is called the church age when Jesus comes back for all His then living and previously living disciples and takes them out of this world in the same manner He left His disciples after His resurrection in jerusalem. this is called the rapture and is told of in I thessalonians 4.13-8. then after a short period of great tribulation for the whole earth. Christ Jesus and all His disciples will come and He will reign on earth for 1000 years and the disciples with him. one thing that the disciples will do during this time..before all time will end.. is mentioned is in psalm 149.5f..
'let the saints be joyful in glory
let them sing aloud upon their beds
to EXECUTE VENGEANCE UPON the heathen and
PUNISHMENTS upon the people
to bind their kings with chains and
their nobles with fetters of iron
to EXECUTE UPON THEM THE JUDGMENT WRITTEN
this honor have all the saints.
the disciples' use of the imprecatory psalms, during this time before Jesus comes back..IT MAY BE TODAY!.. is to partake of the same spirit that will animate what is written above in psalm 149 in that next period of time to come. now it is a mournful beseeching...suffering through until..if necessary..released by death into the presence of Jesus...but always assured that judgment is coming. then it will take the form of actively bringing upon those who deserve it, the judgment of God. now is the time for patient suffering. some day, possibly soon, will be the time to carry out God's judgment on those who are the cause of the christian disciples' suffering and many times martyrdom. we take heart and hopefully no matter what happens before Jesus returns for us, we pray for God to give us the grace to
BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS
blessed are you when men
cast insults at you and
persecute you and
say all kinds of evil against you..falsely
on account of Me (keep loving your enemies..no matter what they do!) (matthew 5.11)
BE GIVEN THE GRACE TO BE WHO HE WANTS US TO BE
REJOICE and
BE GLAD
FOR YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN IS GREAT
for so they persecuted the PROPHETS (keep speaking His words..no matter what!) who were before you.
(matthew 5.12)
PSALM 109
HOLD NOT THY PEACE, o God of my praise. for
the mouth of the wicked and
the mouth of the deceitful
are opened against me
they have spoken against me
with a lying tongue
they compassed me about also with words of hatred, and
fought against me WITHOUT A CAUSE
FOR MY LOVE they are my adversaries, but
i give myself unto prayer.
and they have rewarded me evil for good
and hatred FOR MY LOVE
(imprecation)
set Thou a wicked man over him, and
let satan stand at his right hand
when he shall be judged, let him be condemned, and
let his prayer become sin
let his days be few, and
let another take his office
let his children be fatherless,
and his wife a widow
let his children be continually vagabonds and beg
let them seek their bread also out of their desolate places
let the extortioner catch all that he hath, and
let strangers spoil his labour
let there be none to extend mercy unto him
neither let there be any to favor his fatherless children
let his posterity be cut off, and
in the generation following let their name be blotted out
let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the Lord, and
let not the sin of his mother be blotted out
let them be before the Lord continually
that He may cut off the memory of them from the earth
....because that
he remembered not to show mercy, but
persecuted the poor and needy man,
that he might even slay the broken in heart....
as he loved cursing, so let it come unto him
as he delighted not in blessing, so let it come into his bowels like water, and like oil into his bones
let it be unto him as the garment which covereth him, and for a girdle wherewith he is girded continually
LET THIS BE THE REWARD OF MINE ADVERSARIES FROM THE LORD,
and of them that speak evil against my soul
but DO Thou for me, O God the Lord, for Thy Name's sake (EXPRESS YOUR TRUST IN HIM!)
because Thy mercy is good
DELIVER Thou me, for
(NOW POUR OUT YOUR HEART AND TELL YOUR LOVER all about it!)
i am poor and needy and
my heart is wounded within me
i am gone like the shadow when it declineth
i am tossed up and down as the locust
my knees are weak through fasting, and
my flesh faileth of fatness
i became also a reproach unto them
when they looked upon me they shaked their heads.
HELP me, O Lord my God
O SAVE me according to Thy mercy
that they may know that this is Thy hand (OH HOW I WANT YOUR GLORY my dear savior!)
THAT THOU, LORD, HAST DONE IT
LET THEM CURSE, but
BLESS THOU
when they arise, LET THEM BE ASHAMED, but
LET THY SERVANT REJOICE
LET mine adversaries BE CLOTHED WITH SHAME, and
LET THEM COVER THEMSELVES WITH THEIR OWN CONFUSION, as with a mantle
I WILL GREATLY PRAISE THE LORD with my mouth
YEA, I WILL PRAISE HIM AMONG THE MULTITUDE
for He shall stand at the right hand of the poor
to save him from those that condemn his soul. (BEGIN AND END IN FAITH!
it is to be sung by disciples, wherever they may be on earth, when they are under active attack....as Jesus says, 'on account of Me'. it is one of what people who study the bible call an imprecatory (to invoke or call down evil or curse, as upon a person) psalm. several others i have found recently are psalms 74 and 79. i believe there are others. they are for the time until the end of what is called the church age when Jesus comes back for all His then living and previously living disciples and takes them out of this world in the same manner He left His disciples after His resurrection in jerusalem. this is called the rapture and is told of in I thessalonians 4.13-8. then after a short period of great tribulation for the whole earth. Christ Jesus and all His disciples will come and He will reign on earth for 1000 years and the disciples with him. one thing that the disciples will do during this time..before all time will end.. is mentioned is in psalm 149.5f..
'let the saints be joyful in glory
let them sing aloud upon their beds
to EXECUTE VENGEANCE UPON the heathen and
PUNISHMENTS upon the people
to bind their kings with chains and
their nobles with fetters of iron
to EXECUTE UPON THEM THE JUDGMENT WRITTEN
this honor have all the saints.
the disciples' use of the imprecatory psalms, during this time before Jesus comes back..IT MAY BE TODAY!.. is to partake of the same spirit that will animate what is written above in psalm 149 in that next period of time to come. now it is a mournful beseeching...suffering through until..if necessary..released by death into the presence of Jesus...but always assured that judgment is coming. then it will take the form of actively bringing upon those who deserve it, the judgment of God. now is the time for patient suffering. some day, possibly soon, will be the time to carry out God's judgment on those who are the cause of the christian disciples' suffering and many times martyrdom. we take heart and hopefully no matter what happens before Jesus returns for us, we pray for God to give us the grace to
BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS
blessed are you when men
cast insults at you and
persecute you and
say all kinds of evil against you..falsely
on account of Me (keep loving your enemies..no matter what they do!) (matthew 5.11)
BE GIVEN THE GRACE TO BE WHO HE WANTS US TO BE
REJOICE and
BE GLAD
FOR YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN IS GREAT
for so they persecuted the PROPHETS (keep speaking His words..no matter what!) who were before you.
(matthew 5.12)
PSALM 109
HOLD NOT THY PEACE, o God of my praise. for
the mouth of the wicked and
the mouth of the deceitful
are opened against me
they have spoken against me
with a lying tongue
they compassed me about also with words of hatred, and
fought against me WITHOUT A CAUSE
FOR MY LOVE they are my adversaries, but
i give myself unto prayer.
and they have rewarded me evil for good
and hatred FOR MY LOVE
(imprecation)
set Thou a wicked man over him, and
let satan stand at his right hand
when he shall be judged, let him be condemned, and
let his prayer become sin
let his days be few, and
let another take his office
let his children be fatherless,
and his wife a widow
let his children be continually vagabonds and beg
let them seek their bread also out of their desolate places
let the extortioner catch all that he hath, and
let strangers spoil his labour
let there be none to extend mercy unto him
neither let there be any to favor his fatherless children
let his posterity be cut off, and
in the generation following let their name be blotted out
let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the Lord, and
let not the sin of his mother be blotted out
let them be before the Lord continually
that He may cut off the memory of them from the earth
....because that
he remembered not to show mercy, but
persecuted the poor and needy man,
that he might even slay the broken in heart....
as he loved cursing, so let it come unto him
as he delighted not in blessing, so let it come into his bowels like water, and like oil into his bones
let it be unto him as the garment which covereth him, and for a girdle wherewith he is girded continually
LET THIS BE THE REWARD OF MINE ADVERSARIES FROM THE LORD,
and of them that speak evil against my soul
but DO Thou for me, O God the Lord, for Thy Name's sake (EXPRESS YOUR TRUST IN HIM!)
because Thy mercy is good
DELIVER Thou me, for
(NOW POUR OUT YOUR HEART AND TELL YOUR LOVER all about it!)
i am poor and needy and
my heart is wounded within me
i am gone like the shadow when it declineth
i am tossed up and down as the locust
my knees are weak through fasting, and
my flesh faileth of fatness
i became also a reproach unto them
when they looked upon me they shaked their heads.
HELP me, O Lord my God
O SAVE me according to Thy mercy
that they may know that this is Thy hand (OH HOW I WANT YOUR GLORY my dear savior!)
THAT THOU, LORD, HAST DONE IT
LET THEM CURSE, but
BLESS THOU
when they arise, LET THEM BE ASHAMED, but
LET THY SERVANT REJOICE
LET mine adversaries BE CLOTHED WITH SHAME, and
LET THEM COVER THEMSELVES WITH THEIR OWN CONFUSION, as with a mantle
I WILL GREATLY PRAISE THE LORD with my mouth
YEA, I WILL PRAISE HIM AMONG THE MULTITUDE
for He shall stand at the right hand of the poor
to save him from those that condemn his soul. (BEGIN AND END IN FAITH!
Monday, July 23, 2012
7.24.2012 MODESTY WHY?
today more and more women are discovering the principle of modesty as they read God's word. they are appalled by modern society's lack of it, or their own conscience is troubled as God convicts them.
modesty was defined in noah webster's original 1828 dictionary as
'not forward or bod;
not boastful
not loose or lewd
not excessive or extreme
moderate
decent
in females it is used synonymously with chastity or purity of manners'.
webster reflected biblical principles that early american homes, churches and schools were established on.
the world book dictionary defines it as
'freedom from vanity
the quality of being shy or bashful
the quality of being decent or chaste
not calling attention to one's body'.
why do we need modesty?
1. God said so.
'in like manner also, that WOMEN ADORN THEMSELVES in modest apparel,
with shamefacedness and sobriety
not with broided hair, or gold or pearls or costly array
but (which becometh women professing godliness)
WTIH GOOD WORDS.' (I timothy 2.9-10)
'likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior, manner of living) of the wives; while they behold your CHASTE CONVERSATION COUPLED WITH FEAR. (I peter 3.1,2)
..3. we are not to cause others to stumble.
'but i say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.' (matthew 5.28)
if looking has such an effect on a man, then women do men a great disservice by dressing immodestly.
'he that loveth his bother abideth in the light and THERE IS NONE OCCASION OF STUMBLING in him.' (I john 2.10)
'let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a STUMBLING BLOCK or an OCCASION TO FALL in his brother's way.' (romans 14.13)
4. weights and sins impede our progress in God's kingdom. (note: deliberately causing another person to covet may be a thrill but this very thing makes it harder to be the person God intended them to be for His glory.)
'wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every WEIGHT and the SIN which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us'. (hebrews 12.1)
modesty involves clothing, but is also an attitude, as the definitions showed. WE NEED MODESTY IN BOTH CLOTHING AND ATTITUDE. women who desire God's modesty will reflect it in their dress and actions. how serious it is to impede our progress in holiness or cause someone else to sin because we take our way instead of God's.)
5. God will judge immodesty.
'moreover the Lord saith, because the daughters of zion are
haughty and
walk with stretched forth necks and
wanton eyes,
walking and mincing as they go, and
making a tinkling with their feet:
therefore the Lord will
smite with as scab, the crown of the heads of the daughters of zion, and the Lord will
discover their secret parts...
and it shall come to pass, that
instead of sweet smell...there shall be stink
instead of a girdle...a rent
instead of well set hair ...baldness
instead of a stomacher...a girding of sackcloth
and
burning instead of beauty.' (isaiah 3.16,17,24)
how about you? are you forward, bold, flirtatious, or boastful?
do you dress in a lewd or tempting, form-fitting manner, or with costly array?
or as you dressing...and acting...to please God?
'who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies'. (proverbs 31.10)
rod and staff publishers, inc. crockett, ky 41413 telephone 606.522.4348
modesty was defined in noah webster's original 1828 dictionary as
'not forward or bod;
not boastful
not loose or lewd
not excessive or extreme
moderate
decent
in females it is used synonymously with chastity or purity of manners'.
webster reflected biblical principles that early american homes, churches and schools were established on.
the world book dictionary defines it as
'freedom from vanity
the quality of being shy or bashful
the quality of being decent or chaste
not calling attention to one's body'.
why do we need modesty?
1. God said so.
'in like manner also, that WOMEN ADORN THEMSELVES in modest apparel,
with shamefacedness and sobriety
not with broided hair, or gold or pearls or costly array
but (which becometh women professing godliness)
WTIH GOOD WORDS.' (I timothy 2.9-10)
'likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior, manner of living) of the wives; while they behold your CHASTE CONVERSATION COUPLED WITH FEAR. (I peter 3.1,2)
..3. we are not to cause others to stumble.
'but i say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.' (matthew 5.28)
if looking has such an effect on a man, then women do men a great disservice by dressing immodestly.
'he that loveth his bother abideth in the light and THERE IS NONE OCCASION OF STUMBLING in him.' (I john 2.10)
'let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a STUMBLING BLOCK or an OCCASION TO FALL in his brother's way.' (romans 14.13)
4. weights and sins impede our progress in God's kingdom. (note: deliberately causing another person to covet may be a thrill but this very thing makes it harder to be the person God intended them to be for His glory.)
'wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every WEIGHT and the SIN which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us'. (hebrews 12.1)
modesty involves clothing, but is also an attitude, as the definitions showed. WE NEED MODESTY IN BOTH CLOTHING AND ATTITUDE. women who desire God's modesty will reflect it in their dress and actions. how serious it is to impede our progress in holiness or cause someone else to sin because we take our way instead of God's.)
5. God will judge immodesty.
'moreover the Lord saith, because the daughters of zion are
haughty and
walk with stretched forth necks and
wanton eyes,
walking and mincing as they go, and
making a tinkling with their feet:
therefore the Lord will
smite with as scab, the crown of the heads of the daughters of zion, and the Lord will
discover their secret parts...
and it shall come to pass, that
instead of sweet smell...there shall be stink
instead of a girdle...a rent
instead of well set hair ...baldness
instead of a stomacher...a girding of sackcloth
and
burning instead of beauty.' (isaiah 3.16,17,24)
how about you? are you forward, bold, flirtatious, or boastful?
do you dress in a lewd or tempting, form-fitting manner, or with costly array?
or as you dressing...and acting...to please God?
'who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies'. (proverbs 31.10)
rod and staff publishers, inc. crockett, ky 41413 telephone 606.522.4348
7.23.2012 READY TO HIT THE FINANCIAL BRICK WALL?
world, 5.19.12, p12...when the u.s. senate on a procedural vote, killed the so-called buffet rule last month, even some liberal lawmakers and pundits said it was more about politics than economics. the rule would have imposed a 30% tax on all income for people making more than 2 million a year and would have generated about 5 billion a year in additional tax revenue, or about 0.2% of total tax revenue.
the bottom line: a tax increase, even a dramatic one, will not solve the debt problem, and a tax increase brings with it the probability of sending much needed capital to other countries. the following chart looks at the federal budget and then eliminates 8 zeros, bringing the problem into sharper focus.
u.s. federal budget in numbers we can all understand:
u.s annual tax revenue $2,340,000,000,000
federal annual spending budget $3,590,000,000,000
new annual debt from overspending this year $1,250,000,000,000
national debt $15,400,000,000,000
last year's budget $38,500,000,000
now remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget:
annual family income $23,400
$ the family spends annually $35,900
new debt added to credit cards $12,500
outstanding balance on credit cards $154,000
total cuts to the family budget $385
our country is so concerned about the upcoming presidential election. the predominance of attention to the so called 'power position' tells me one thing. the people that currently live here feel that they are not able to take care of themselves. most all are already bonifide slaves with the titles of 'free' and 'brave' stenciled on their foreheads like an advertisement promising what it has no power to produce.
if we were all responsible...or at least enough of us to form the majority necessary, we would have long ago begun to systematically impeach government officials at every level who budgeted a nickel more than what a reasonable tax rate would support. the trouble is there are not enough of us.
oh that i would be responsible enough to be content with just enough (food and simple covering from the weather) to live...and that you would be too..
the bottom line: a tax increase, even a dramatic one, will not solve the debt problem, and a tax increase brings with it the probability of sending much needed capital to other countries. the following chart looks at the federal budget and then eliminates 8 zeros, bringing the problem into sharper focus.
u.s. federal budget in numbers we can all understand:
u.s annual tax revenue $2,340,000,000,000
federal annual spending budget $3,590,000,000,000
new annual debt from overspending this year $1,250,000,000,000
national debt $15,400,000,000,000
last year's budget $38,500,000,000
now remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget:
annual family income $23,400
$ the family spends annually $35,900
new debt added to credit cards $12,500
outstanding balance on credit cards $154,000
total cuts to the family budget $385
our country is so concerned about the upcoming presidential election. the predominance of attention to the so called 'power position' tells me one thing. the people that currently live here feel that they are not able to take care of themselves. most all are already bonifide slaves with the titles of 'free' and 'brave' stenciled on their foreheads like an advertisement promising what it has no power to produce.
if we were all responsible...or at least enough of us to form the majority necessary, we would have long ago begun to systematically impeach government officials at every level who budgeted a nickel more than what a reasonable tax rate would support. the trouble is there are not enough of us.
oh that i would be responsible enough to be content with just enough (food and simple covering from the weather) to live...and that you would be too..
Sunday, July 22, 2012
7.22.2012 IS TOTAL CONSECRATION POSSIBLE?!
1.CONSECRATE-set apart or dedicate to the service of a deity (note: in the case of Jesus i would amend webster's definition to, either, set oneself apart..or be set apart by God to be His continual slave)
2.DEDICATE-devote wholly or earnestly
3A.DEVOTE-
to GIVE UP TO or
APPROPRIATE TO or
CONCENTRATE ON A particular pursuit, occupation, PURPOSE, cause, etc.
3B.EARNESTly-
SERIOUS in intention, purpose or effort;
sincerely ZEALOUS;
showing DEPTH AND SINCERITY OF FEELING;
seriously IMPORTANT;
FULL seriousness
4A. APPROPRIATE-set apart for some specific purpose or use
4B. CONCENTRATE-
-bring to a common CENTER or point of union
-direct toward one POINT
-FOCUS;
-put into a SINGLE place
-INTENSIFY
-make/become denser, stronger or PUREr
-BRING ALL efforts, faculties, activities TO BEAR ON ONE THING
-come to a COMMON center
4C. PURPOSE
-the REASON FOR which something (in this case someone) exists ( EXISTENCE)
-INTENDED or DESIRED RESULT, END, AIM, GOAL
-DETERMINATION, RESOLUTION
4D. SERIOUS- characterized by DEEP THOUGHT
4E. ZEALous-FERVOR for a person, cause or object;
-EAGER DESIRE OR ENDEAVOR
-ENTHUSIASTIC DILIGENCE
-ARDOR
4F. DEPTH- INTENSITY
4G. SINCERity-
-FREE OF DECEIT, HYPOCRISY OR FALSENESS;
-GENUINE, REAL
-UNMIXED, UNADULTERATED
4H. FEELing-
-BE(COME) CONSCIOUS OF
-BE EMOTIONALLY AFFECTED BY
-EXPERIENCE THE EFFECTS OF
-HAVE A PARTICULAR SENSATION/ IMPRESSION OF
-HAVE A GENUINE/THOROUGH CONVICTION OF
-THINK,
-BELIEVE
-HAVE A SENSATION OF BEING
4I. IMPORTant-
-BE OF CONSEQUENCE, MATTER
4J. FULL
-COMPLETE
-ENTIRE
-MAXIMUM
SERIOUS-
showing DEEP THOUGHT;
of GRAVE or SOMBER manner
NOT TRIFLING
requiring.. APPLICATION
after going through this little exercise i come up with something like: everything for God and nothing for me.
this all arose because in 2011 i felt that God was calling me to something along this line...and i consciously pulled back. in fact i went on an unparalleled binge of ice cream eating, tv sports watching, reading and , in general, avoiding things i felt i ought to do...even to the point of barely taking care of absolutely basic life responsibilities. so i guess that was my answer. no.
but i keep praying..am in deep misery and concern over how God has been bringing into my consciousness a growing awareness of my sin and its horrendous nature..and this has nothing to do what i just mentioned above..and have recently been sensing that some of the strangleholds mentioned above are relaxing a bit. then in the last week i let go watching any of the summer olympics..and this was really a bit painful, the reading of the sports page and sports illustrated. i have stopped listening to sports radio, even kyw. on saturday i got gallery 3 by gary larsen at a book sale for .50 and started whiffing through it with great pleasure and gusto..but...it's kind of hard to put into words...but i sensed that this enjoyment..along with so many others..was crowding God out. putting Him in a ramshackle old, broken down room with no light and heat..that by tiny increments i was being taken over. or to put it another way i was giving myself over to things-ALL GOOD AND FINE AND ALL THAT STUFF- that were choking , literally choking the Life of God out of me. honestly.
normal people would say this is all nuts..and i kind of agree. as far as mySELF goes, i totally and firmly am in agreement that this is all nut. i will probably experience a spiritual tsunami of a negative reaction any minute now..much greater than what i experienced last year. i'm just waiting for the inevitable to happen. this giving all, meaning ALL, meaning everything E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E F-R-E-A-K-I-N' T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to God..it's just beyond possibility.
i've never known anyone that i perceived was living like that, did you?! i once read a book by amy carmichal (sp?) i think called 'god's missionary'. in it she told of her struggle as a young missionary. all the other older missionaries on the field made time in their lives for parties, amusements etc. but amy didn't feel comfortable doing these things. she even came to the point where she didn't feel comfortable reading books that did not specifically bring her closer to God. i've never forgotten that little book. i don't think God wants me to.
2.DEDICATE-devote wholly or earnestly
3A.DEVOTE-
to GIVE UP TO or
APPROPRIATE TO or
CONCENTRATE ON A particular pursuit, occupation, PURPOSE, cause, etc.
3B.EARNESTly-
SERIOUS in intention, purpose or effort;
sincerely ZEALOUS;
showing DEPTH AND SINCERITY OF FEELING;
seriously IMPORTANT;
FULL seriousness
4A. APPROPRIATE-set apart for some specific purpose or use
4B. CONCENTRATE-
-bring to a common CENTER or point of union
-direct toward one POINT
-FOCUS;
-put into a SINGLE place
-INTENSIFY
-make/become denser, stronger or PUREr
-BRING ALL efforts, faculties, activities TO BEAR ON ONE THING
-come to a COMMON center
4C. PURPOSE
-the REASON FOR which something (in this case someone) exists ( EXISTENCE)
-INTENDED or DESIRED RESULT, END, AIM, GOAL
-DETERMINATION, RESOLUTION
4D. SERIOUS- characterized by DEEP THOUGHT
4E. ZEALous-FERVOR for a person, cause or object;
-EAGER DESIRE OR ENDEAVOR
-ENTHUSIASTIC DILIGENCE
-ARDOR
4F. DEPTH- INTENSITY
4G. SINCERity-
-FREE OF DECEIT, HYPOCRISY OR FALSENESS;
-GENUINE, REAL
-UNMIXED, UNADULTERATED
4H. FEELing-
-BE(COME) CONSCIOUS OF
-BE EMOTIONALLY AFFECTED BY
-EXPERIENCE THE EFFECTS OF
-HAVE A PARTICULAR SENSATION/ IMPRESSION OF
-HAVE A GENUINE/THOROUGH CONVICTION OF
-THINK,
-BELIEVE
-HAVE A SENSATION OF BEING
4I. IMPORTant-
-BE OF CONSEQUENCE, MATTER
4J. FULL
-COMPLETE
-ENTIRE
-MAXIMUM
SERIOUS-
showing DEEP THOUGHT;
of GRAVE or SOMBER manner
NOT TRIFLING
requiring.. APPLICATION
after going through this little exercise i come up with something like: everything for God and nothing for me.
this all arose because in 2011 i felt that God was calling me to something along this line...and i consciously pulled back. in fact i went on an unparalleled binge of ice cream eating, tv sports watching, reading and , in general, avoiding things i felt i ought to do...even to the point of barely taking care of absolutely basic life responsibilities. so i guess that was my answer. no.
but i keep praying..am in deep misery and concern over how God has been bringing into my consciousness a growing awareness of my sin and its horrendous nature..and this has nothing to do what i just mentioned above..and have recently been sensing that some of the strangleholds mentioned above are relaxing a bit. then in the last week i let go watching any of the summer olympics..and this was really a bit painful, the reading of the sports page and sports illustrated. i have stopped listening to sports radio, even kyw. on saturday i got gallery 3 by gary larsen at a book sale for .50 and started whiffing through it with great pleasure and gusto..but...it's kind of hard to put into words...but i sensed that this enjoyment..along with so many others..was crowding God out. putting Him in a ramshackle old, broken down room with no light and heat..that by tiny increments i was being taken over. or to put it another way i was giving myself over to things-ALL GOOD AND FINE AND ALL THAT STUFF- that were choking , literally choking the Life of God out of me. honestly.
normal people would say this is all nuts..and i kind of agree. as far as mySELF goes, i totally and firmly am in agreement that this is all nut. i will probably experience a spiritual tsunami of a negative reaction any minute now..much greater than what i experienced last year. i'm just waiting for the inevitable to happen. this giving all, meaning ALL, meaning everything E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E F-R-E-A-K-I-N' T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to God..it's just beyond possibility.
i've never known anyone that i perceived was living like that, did you?! i once read a book by amy carmichal (sp?) i think called 'god's missionary'. in it she told of her struggle as a young missionary. all the other older missionaries on the field made time in their lives for parties, amusements etc. but amy didn't feel comfortable doing these things. she even came to the point where she didn't feel comfortable reading books that did not specifically bring her closer to God. i've never forgotten that little book. i don't think God wants me to.
Friday, July 20, 2012
7.21.2012 SEXUAL ABUSE (DAN ALLENDER)
world, 6.30.12, p59..
..at a 21 hour Abuse Helpers conference at largo community church in mitchellville, md...'this jewish-background psychologist, narrating wild tales with his hands, challenges victims to explore their own stories. he explains how human beings, designed to enjoy sex, often experience pleasure in the midst of abuse. for many in the room, he is the first to address this ambivalence and shame and to insist that in the shame and in the particulars of individual stories, victims can find the face of .
the audience is full of churchgoers. he lays out numbers: if you have 10 people in your bible study, 5 women and 5 men, at least 3 women and 2 men have been sexually abused and feel the lingering effects of shame.
in The wounded heart: Hope for adult victims of childhood sexual abuse, al writes that MANY PEOPLE WOULD ONLY CONSIDER THEIR PAST EXPERIENCE ABUSIVE IF IT HAD BEEN MORE SEVERE OR HAPPENED TO SOMEONE ELSE. he lays out an expansive def of SEXUAL ABUSE: ANY CONTACT OR INTERACTION (VISUAL, VERBAL, OR PSYCHOLOGICAL) BETWEEN A CHILD/ADOLESCENT IS BEING USED FOR THE SEXUAL STIMULATION OF THE PERPETRATOR OR ANY OTHER PERSON'.
al has critics. some think he refers too infrequently to Christ as the route to redemption and the way to glimpse the face of God. some object to al's emphasis on personal story and recovered memories. others suspect that he sticks too closely to psychological categories rather than rooting his counsel directly in the bible.
al responds to the sharpest criticism-that he is a wolf in sheep's clothing, leading people away from the gospel with gospel language: 'if that's true...then may i be anathema'.
after stepping down as president of mars hill graduate school in seattle (now the seattle school of theology and psychology), al wrote the book Leading with a limp. now he meets clients in his office in seattle, where he sits in a tawny chair in front of a brick wall, hears stories of abuse, and INVITES PEOPLE not to methods but TO A WRESTLING MATCH WITH GOD.
attendees at al events do not ask normal questions in the restrooms between sessions. they do not smile and inquire, 'what brings you here?' they ask questions like, 'when you read The wounded heart, did you throw it against the wall?' they respond, 'yes' or 'i wanted to throw it at my therapist' or 'are you kidding? that book threw me against the wall'.
sexual abuse victims see themselves in the book, first published in 1990. they underline: black lines march through almost the entire second-hand copy of one owned by a tenacious blue eyed woman who flew to the maryland conference from bemidji, minn. names scrawled into the margins, identifying other victim, came from the guy who had the book before her. everyone knows that if you have a copy of The wounded heart, you will always give it away to someone else who needs it.
al himself was sexually molested by a scoutmaster when he was 11 and abused by a camp counselor 4 months later. al grew up with a father , deeply kind but avoidant, who would go days without saying a full sentence. when with his mother, al never knew if he would be dancing on tables or fleeing people she'd offended. left in a bizarre role as an only child, stronger than his father and acting as his mother's confidante, al had a deep sense of the world's disorder.
the family of his best friend, tremper longman, took him in at the age of 13, providing a sense of stability and an idea of what family could be. both families helped make him a therapist, public speaker, and storyteller.
in al's pre-conversion career-he describes it a 'pharmaceutical sales'-he carried a 9 mm. his addictions 'spanned many chemical means'. he smoked the last of his weed on the steps of his seminary before going in to register for classes.
he has devoted his life following his christian conversion to the task of learning-and telling-his own story. HE BELIEVES therapists can take clients no further into their stories than they have gone themselves, and THAT SEXUAL ABUSE IN GENERAL, NOT IN PARTICULAR, SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT MORE OPENLY, AS SHOULD ANYTHING THAT VIOLATES HUMAN DIGNITY. (note: amen)
his wife, becky, gives him the most joy, followed closely by his 3 children and three grandchildren. flyfishing helps knit the family together. for al, as an only child, COMING TOGETHER AS FAMILY IS AS SWEET AS IT GETS.'
..at a 21 hour Abuse Helpers conference at largo community church in mitchellville, md...'this jewish-background psychologist, narrating wild tales with his hands, challenges victims to explore their own stories. he explains how human beings, designed to enjoy sex, often experience pleasure in the midst of abuse. for many in the room, he is the first to address this ambivalence and shame and to insist that in the shame and in the particulars of individual stories, victims can find the face of .
the audience is full of churchgoers. he lays out numbers: if you have 10 people in your bible study, 5 women and 5 men, at least 3 women and 2 men have been sexually abused and feel the lingering effects of shame.
in The wounded heart: Hope for adult victims of childhood sexual abuse, al writes that MANY PEOPLE WOULD ONLY CONSIDER THEIR PAST EXPERIENCE ABUSIVE IF IT HAD BEEN MORE SEVERE OR HAPPENED TO SOMEONE ELSE. he lays out an expansive def of SEXUAL ABUSE: ANY CONTACT OR INTERACTION (VISUAL, VERBAL, OR PSYCHOLOGICAL) BETWEEN A CHILD/ADOLESCENT IS BEING USED FOR THE SEXUAL STIMULATION OF THE PERPETRATOR OR ANY OTHER PERSON'.
al has critics. some think he refers too infrequently to Christ as the route to redemption and the way to glimpse the face of God. some object to al's emphasis on personal story and recovered memories. others suspect that he sticks too closely to psychological categories rather than rooting his counsel directly in the bible.
al responds to the sharpest criticism-that he is a wolf in sheep's clothing, leading people away from the gospel with gospel language: 'if that's true...then may i be anathema'.
after stepping down as president of mars hill graduate school in seattle (now the seattle school of theology and psychology), al wrote the book Leading with a limp. now he meets clients in his office in seattle, where he sits in a tawny chair in front of a brick wall, hears stories of abuse, and INVITES PEOPLE not to methods but TO A WRESTLING MATCH WITH GOD.
attendees at al events do not ask normal questions in the restrooms between sessions. they do not smile and inquire, 'what brings you here?' they ask questions like, 'when you read The wounded heart, did you throw it against the wall?' they respond, 'yes' or 'i wanted to throw it at my therapist' or 'are you kidding? that book threw me against the wall'.
sexual abuse victims see themselves in the book, first published in 1990. they underline: black lines march through almost the entire second-hand copy of one owned by a tenacious blue eyed woman who flew to the maryland conference from bemidji, minn. names scrawled into the margins, identifying other victim, came from the guy who had the book before her. everyone knows that if you have a copy of The wounded heart, you will always give it away to someone else who needs it.
al himself was sexually molested by a scoutmaster when he was 11 and abused by a camp counselor 4 months later. al grew up with a father , deeply kind but avoidant, who would go days without saying a full sentence. when with his mother, al never knew if he would be dancing on tables or fleeing people she'd offended. left in a bizarre role as an only child, stronger than his father and acting as his mother's confidante, al had a deep sense of the world's disorder.
the family of his best friend, tremper longman, took him in at the age of 13, providing a sense of stability and an idea of what family could be. both families helped make him a therapist, public speaker, and storyteller.
in al's pre-conversion career-he describes it a 'pharmaceutical sales'-he carried a 9 mm. his addictions 'spanned many chemical means'. he smoked the last of his weed on the steps of his seminary before going in to register for classes.
he has devoted his life following his christian conversion to the task of learning-and telling-his own story. HE BELIEVES therapists can take clients no further into their stories than they have gone themselves, and THAT SEXUAL ABUSE IN GENERAL, NOT IN PARTICULAR, SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT MORE OPENLY, AS SHOULD ANYTHING THAT VIOLATES HUMAN DIGNITY. (note: amen)
his wife, becky, gives him the most joy, followed closely by his 3 children and three grandchildren. flyfishing helps knit the family together. for al, as an only child, COMING TOGETHER AS FAMILY IS AS SWEET AS IT GETS.'
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