on friday at WAPP as i was about to leave someone complained that my signs were obstructing their vision to see if cars were coming along the road and the policeman on duty asked that they be moved. i went up to his car, which happened to be at the same place as the person who had complained, got down to where my head was the same height as his head, turned and looked over the top of the line of signs and could clearly see the traffic coming down the road toward us. he had asked that we move the signs and at that point i said that i could see clearly and asked if he could see clearly. he would not give a direct answer but asked again that we move the signs. at that point another of the prolife people came over and entered the conversation and said we should move the signs. my question was, WHY? i said to the policeman that there should be cause and said that if vision was indeed obstructed i would be the first to move the signs. i asked where the police station was and at that point he offered to call the sargent, which he did. the sargent upon arriving and refusing to shake hands with me as we met, assessed the situation and agreed that vision was not obstructed but asked that the signs be repositioned stating that if there was an accident because of the signs the motorist could sue me. i said that this was a violation of free speech rights. he said he was concerned for public safety..the same argument used to deny free speech rights in dearborn, michigan. as we were talking a number of other prolife people arrived and i could see that no one could see any traffic now..and thot..that will be the next complaint and any one there will have to line up against the hedge and not be able to move from that spot. we are currently restricted to an 8' swath of lawn that runs along the front of planned parenthood. all i could think was that it would only take one complaint in this area to restrict us all to a 2' swath AND I SAW RED. as in my vision several years ago of people who butchered people in my neighborhood during the night standing on their blood-soaked porch in the morning having coffee and donuts with the local police officers, so it is becoming at WAPP. the police park near to and regularly talk and joke with the people who escort the women into the abortuary. looking at the whole situation a common sense solution to the whole would be to tell the complaintant to do what they do in any other situation in which their vision is not clear: 1) come to a stop at the painted line, 2)it they cannot see clearly from that point slowly move up. still short of being out onto the road until they can see clearly and 3) proceed when the way is clear.
i am like a tinder-box on the issue of abortion. it doesn't take much to bring to the surface great, unfathomable wrath. here are people we pay to be our servants in the area of making sure that what is right is done and that what is wrong is corrected who are acting more and more like petty tyrants and oppressors..who talk about protecting the safety of people who have been judged competent enough to make commonsense decisions while driving so as to stay safe and keep others safe as well while 'protecting' people to, in broad daylight, rip apart the bodies of human beings by the millions.
at times like these i quickly spiral either down into deep depression or up into a towering rage shown in part in my next journal entry: 'the whole insanity of what we are doing..the fountain is once again tapped and spews forth. how can i continue to be complicit in this evil i should not be at all at the level of disputing about the positions of signs (we are, by degrees, being harassed and restricted to where free speech rights are totally taken away for those who merely protest abortion). i should be a number of notches higher..at the level of keeping people away from where they are murdering defenseless, innocent human beings..that would be the appropriate response..and i shouldn't be doing this in 2009. i should have done it in 1973 or whenever i first heard what was happening. on the moral barometer that feels like the proper response: one sees/hears of something of this horrific nature and MOVES TO STOP IT..TO KEEP IT FROM HAPPENING OR DIE IN THE ATTEMPT. that response feels about right. but depraved man responds only to the level where: 1. she feels personally threatened 2. someone she cares about is threatened (family, friends, people close by being murdered?) or 3. to not respond or APPEAR not to respond would cause others to think badly of her. (jumping on or even just APPEARING to jump on politically correct bandwagons..but this is not on society's or even 'christianity's' evil bandwagon, but it is politically correct to mouth lies about abortion while not dealing with the substantial evil that is being done by it every day) some salve their conscience by asserting that they do not believe in abortion but that is a WOMAN'S choice that no one has the right to deny her..some by saying they're prolife..some by wearing buttons/teeshirts or putting bumper stickers on their car..some by writing letters to the editor..some by working at pregnancy centers..some by praying/counseling/protesting at places where human beings are being massacred. though a few have been redeemed all are suffering from temporal or terminal depravity. when it comes right down to it the bottom line for each of us in every area is IF IT DOESN'T ADVERSELY AFFECT ME THEN IT DOESN'T MATTER.
the true, pure, moral response would seem to be INDIFFERENT (this doesn't affect me at all/i don't even know this person) AND AGGRESSIVE (but i must help them to protect them and stop this from happening to them AND I WILL/I AM going to even if i suffer the loss of my possessions, my freedom and my life). i recall my horrified, I-NEED-TO-STOP-THIS response as a small child viewing my first boobtube murder and my current response to one now. that contrast pictures very clearly to me WHAT SHOULD BE and WHAT IS my response to abortion...and i loathe myself for who i have become. oh the unending misery and pain of being who i am and of living complicit, comfortable and all the rest of the barf that composes 'the good life in this wicked, wicked, wicked world. it is intolerable......or should be..but somehow i can still tolerate living while being dead. this should drive me to INDIFFERENT AGGRESSION but evidently it is worse than intolerable...it is something i can somehow live with. oh what agony, what misery, WHAT SHAAAAAAME at my absolute moral numbness and in action...and living in a world full of others, evidently...., such as i..............................................................................................................(hopefully, somehow this is not true and i am a certifiable nutcase but i keep thinking of the emporer's new clothes and tend to think that whole societies can operate on an insane level..and then, drawing on a piece of thot from Him in ecclessiastes where He says insanity is in their hearts..
NOW.......................................................................................................................................................shake your moral self off and go on 'living'.
this am went to the iglesia on railroad ave. in souderton. i was scared walking into a spanish speaking church, not knowing what kind of experience it would be and what kind of reception i would meet with. church started at 10 am according to the sign out front but when i walked in at 9:58 the whole group was singing with tamborines, drums and guitar. i sat in the back row and a big guy in front turned around and handed me a hymnal..his wife whispered in english 'number 16'. the next i actually understood (at number 120), found and 'sang' in a low voice struggling with some of the pronunciations. singing went on for about half an hour. then all the children left..the few teenagers left..the women gathered and i was ushered into a small room crowded with adult men. what a time a intimate fellowship even in different languages...maybe there is an enclave i may have here where i experience a little bit of heavenly fellowship. we shall see. have a good week. love, dad
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