it has been another interesting week. i wonder how long i have left here. you ever wonder that? life is so intense, so packed full, so mottled with 'light' and 'dark' and everything between. yet it's just a moment. have been meditating on psalm 90 a bit lately...the part about the tenuousness, the fragility, the scope, the Determiner of our lives. i tend to think i'm so 'big' but in God's sight i am just another of the vast teeming innumerable human host He has created and interacts with. i'm infintesimally 'tiny', He infintesimally 'big'. 'Lord, Thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations. before the mountains were brought forth, or ever Thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting Thou art God. Thou turnest man to destruction and sayest, "return ye children of men". for a 1000 years in Thy sight are as yesterday when it is passed and as a watch in the night. Thou carriest them away as with a flood. they are as a sleep. in the morning they are like grass which groweth up. in the morning it flourisheth and groweth up. in the evening it is cut down and withereth. for we are consumed by thine anger and by thy wrath are we troubled. thou hast set our iniquities before Thee, our secret sins in the light of Thy countenance for all our days are passed away in Thy wrath. We spend our years as a tale that is told.' what a totally different perspective! it sounds like He is the One really calling all the shots whereas my perspective is that i am. i and the rest of humanity wonder why He allows evil. here He clearly reveals why evil happens. we are all getting just a little bit of what we deserve! we just don't like that answer so we continue to 'wonder' or actively, possibly only on a subconscious level, curse Him when anything we don't like in our lives, the lives of others, the weather (!), etc. 'goes bad'. the real wonder is that we don't really get what we deserve. the worst possible situation we ever experience here is light years better than hell which is the just desert of each one of us...WE JUST DON'T SEE IT! today, more than usual, God blessed me with simple, child-like thankfulness to Him. i experience it so little but when my heart instinctively looks up to Him with gratitude for something i count it a precious gift. oh that that gift would be lodged permanently in my heart about everything! wow...but, yea, i've been thinking i'm just a tiny, little wisp...here today...maybe gone tomorrow. blessed be His Name...God Almighty.
as usual i have so much to tell you and a nano's time to tell. let's see, yesterday i bought a ton of food out in lancaster (buying as much bulk as possible where it doesn't impact freshness) and bought a 16" blue scooter. i was unsettled on the scooter. had intended to buy the parts, prime them and put it together (the last would have taken TIME). prayed. prayed on the way out. walked in the shop and the guy i talked with explained about the metal, how it is prepped etc. and with this new, helpful perspective i decided to just get a finished scooter. no green one around so settled on a blue. i am still a bit conflicted about it all so we'll just take it as it comes bathed hopefully with a lot of prayer. the new neighbor john asked if it was possible to do some work on his car this coming week in the garage. i used that as impetus to clean up the ground level. that felt so good to see it all clean and mostly organized. hope to buy a hand cranking grain mill soon as i just got 50 lbs of wheat! just made a bid (my first) on ebay for a very nice, seemingly sturdy cast iron model called corona for $31. probably won't get it but it is kind of exciting. i pray that God may do what He knows best. possibly it's not the one for me.
this am ran out of choir/church during the closing prayer to picket several abortionists' homes and at einstein hospital. jerry, a man i have met at warminster planned parenthood, invited me to come. he and a man named john, who sends a newsletter to people in prison for pro-life activity contra law, do this several sundays a month. between the two of them they have been prolife activists for almost 80 years. john actually started in 1970 when nyc law brought abortion mills there. he was the second person at the mill when it opened and he has been active since. i went with them to prayer vigils with signs in the front of two abortionist's homes and out in front of einstein hospital in philly which performs abortions. both have been sued, have been in jail so i learned a lot on a variety of different fronts. the 'feds' as john called them are monitoring his 15 time a year newsletter which he sent me but i haven't had time to read yet. so i guess i'm being monitored now too...maybe we all are... john advocates what he calls the use of force but doesn't have the ability to make actions conform to conviction. when i asked what he would do if he did have that ability he said he would probably destroy abortion mills. jerry, on the other hand, advocates being active at the mills. (i met him at warminster planned parenthood) i explained to john that i did not agree with using force (killing abortionists, destroying buildings but did feel that protesting as well as taking action along the lines spelled out in isaiah 1:17 was about where i was in spirit but like him did not have the courage of my conviction. i told them that my time sunday was probably a once-and-done because i do not currently feel that is what i should be spending time doing but all in all it was a very informative time. john also said as far as he knows there are only less than 20 people in prison for pro-life activities (for using some kind of force) in the united states. there is only one woman..a person who shot tiller (the famous abortionist in kansas who performs late term abortions). among the number of very interesting stories this caught my attention. this woman shot tiller purposefully through both wrists (this is the story john tells) so he couldn't perform abortions and he came to the clinic the next day with wrists bandaged up to carry on as usual (i thot of c.s. lewis character in, i believe, perelandra named weston portrayed as a demon-possessed robut who ransom finally killed with his bare hands). she received a 27 year sentence. when bush came on prolife people were hoping to set up an executive pardon... which attempt failed due to her comment when told about the possibility...'don't expect me to say i'm sorry'. so john is sending me names, info of various sorts i requested and will start sending his newsletter. hope i have time to brush my teeth.
most of the last paragraph was written tonight (tues. 12.30). have gotten nothing else done since God surprised me with two paintable days. He has enabled me to come within a day of finishing everything up on the parsonage and barn. i'm hoping tomorrow to get a bit more done before it starts turning colder. we will see what He brings.
exciting...i hope...when i sat down at the library the first thing i checked was the bid on the grain mill. i 'won'. (hope i feel this way after i receive and use it!) am cautiously pleased. it looks real sturdy and just-what-i'd-envisioned in the picture so we'll see. first time bidding on ebay so we'll see if i truly am a 'winner'. i prayed that i might have it if God willed as i bid...but God may have willed nothing but another trial to perfect my heart understanding that no one or nothing can be counted on..only Him. we'll see... He's good either way!
better send this your way. have a good week. love, dad
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
12.26.08 US SHOULD BE IN IRAQ!!!? world magazine position?
dear mr. belz,
i am a brother in Christ who enjoys your magazine very much but have been, in a growing way, upset by your position, reflected by a number of your writers, that the US should be in iraq. i share below my initial reaction noted when i read your 'profession of mush'. (by the way i have long thot that many in the church have put far too much confidence in president bush as opposed to putting all our trust in God and no trust in anyone else! ...so i was heartened by your article in that regard.)
fighting terrorism by doing what we are doing in iraq?! you've got to be kidding! look at the old testament battle scenes and their context. beyond the time of a God-ordered occupation of palestine by israel displacing the 7 nations living there then, david, a unique, God-granted picture of his Seed who will one day conquer this world literally 'in battle', is the only thoroughgoing exception to the fact that, for the most part, the kings of israel when in war with other nations were defending their own land. (do we have a better idea sashaying militarily far beyond our borders?) when you consider God's dealings with israel, a sinful nation like us and every other nation on this earth for that matter, He led them primarily to look to Him not military might for their deliverence from a hostile enemy. remember david's vivid 'what do i do, Lord' prayers when fighting the philistines, the command for the singers to sing praises to Him in the stead of the army to fight on another occasion, etc.?
we are justly hated around the world for we are doing what we would justly hate if someone violated our national, territorial sovereignty in the name of some lofty sounding idea. (who are we, the motherlode of an ongoing 40 year worldwide bloodbath now having claimed the lives of 1.5 billion innocent human beings, the world wide purveyors through our 'entertainment' and personal example of moral filth of every description...i ask, who are we that anyone should look up to us and want to emulate anything coming from us?)
democracy! what a joke!! first of all we ourselves are right at the door of totalitarianism. second, a democratic system of government is right next to anarchy on the continuum of governmental types, very far from a governmental type that reflects God. it is hardly to be lauded, let alone spread to others. if we survive as a nation we will be God-moved back to the right along the continuum to a republic, the rule of law reflective of the God of the Bible's law rather than the rule of man who is devoid of God's law by birth.
the uptick of worldwide persecution of our brothers and sisters in Christ is the direct result of our prideful buccaneering in iraq, etc, etc ad nauseum. where have we been to genuinely help people groups who have been mercilessly slaughtered by those stronger than them in the balkans, etc, etc. down to this very moment? instead of being diametrically opposed to the creedo 'might makes right' we have become the epitome, the example in real life of this creedo before the watching world. we do not know how to blush and actually wonder how anyone could refer to us as 'the great satan'! we are!! satan is all about destruction and lies and so are we.
we are the greatest sinners as a nation in the history of the world to this point. hitler's germany, stalin's russia, mao's china, cambodia's pol pot will rise up, surely and justly, in the judgment before the great white throne and condemn us. on the abortion issue alone we should have been leveled without a living being left long ago...except for the unbelievable mercy of God...He is staying His hand from that final act for His Name's sake alone.
Bush has not only obliquely brought on worldwide persecution of the church but has made himself the template for the dictatorship to come here. we as the church should be involved in everything and be a voice everywhere but unless that is matched with repentance (read that word -radical change of lifestyle) from our ongoing greed (wanting and determining WE WILL HAVE more than simple nourishment and covering) and multitude of other shameless sins, we and our words will be trodden under foot of men.
i am a brother in Christ who enjoys your magazine very much but have been, in a growing way, upset by your position, reflected by a number of your writers, that the US should be in iraq. i share below my initial reaction noted when i read your 'profession of mush'. (by the way i have long thot that many in the church have put far too much confidence in president bush as opposed to putting all our trust in God and no trust in anyone else! ...so i was heartened by your article in that regard.)
fighting terrorism by doing what we are doing in iraq?! you've got to be kidding! look at the old testament battle scenes and their context. beyond the time of a God-ordered occupation of palestine by israel displacing the 7 nations living there then, david, a unique, God-granted picture of his Seed who will one day conquer this world literally 'in battle', is the only thoroughgoing exception to the fact that, for the most part, the kings of israel when in war with other nations were defending their own land. (do we have a better idea sashaying militarily far beyond our borders?) when you consider God's dealings with israel, a sinful nation like us and every other nation on this earth for that matter, He led them primarily to look to Him not military might for their deliverence from a hostile enemy. remember david's vivid 'what do i do, Lord' prayers when fighting the philistines, the command for the singers to sing praises to Him in the stead of the army to fight on another occasion, etc.?
we are justly hated around the world for we are doing what we would justly hate if someone violated our national, territorial sovereignty in the name of some lofty sounding idea. (who are we, the motherlode of an ongoing 40 year worldwide bloodbath now having claimed the lives of 1.5 billion innocent human beings, the world wide purveyors through our 'entertainment' and personal example of moral filth of every description...i ask, who are we that anyone should look up to us and want to emulate anything coming from us?)
democracy! what a joke!! first of all we ourselves are right at the door of totalitarianism. second, a democratic system of government is right next to anarchy on the continuum of governmental types, very far from a governmental type that reflects God. it is hardly to be lauded, let alone spread to others. if we survive as a nation we will be God-moved back to the right along the continuum to a republic, the rule of law reflective of the God of the Bible's law rather than the rule of man who is devoid of God's law by birth.
the uptick of worldwide persecution of our brothers and sisters in Christ is the direct result of our prideful buccaneering in iraq, etc, etc ad nauseum. where have we been to genuinely help people groups who have been mercilessly slaughtered by those stronger than them in the balkans, etc, etc. down to this very moment? instead of being diametrically opposed to the creedo 'might makes right' we have become the epitome, the example in real life of this creedo before the watching world. we do not know how to blush and actually wonder how anyone could refer to us as 'the great satan'! we are!! satan is all about destruction and lies and so are we.
we are the greatest sinners as a nation in the history of the world to this point. hitler's germany, stalin's russia, mao's china, cambodia's pol pot will rise up, surely and justly, in the judgment before the great white throne and condemn us. on the abortion issue alone we should have been leveled without a living being left long ago...except for the unbelievable mercy of God...He is staying His hand from that final act for His Name's sake alone.
Bush has not only obliquely brought on worldwide persecution of the church but has made himself the template for the dictatorship to come here. we as the church should be involved in everything and be a voice everywhere but unless that is matched with repentance (read that word -radical change of lifestyle) from our ongoing greed (wanting and determining WE WILL HAVE more than simple nourishment and covering) and multitude of other shameless sins, we and our words will be trodden under foot of men.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
12.20.08 MAY YOU LIVE FOREVER!
you may have noticed that the letter i sent to you yesterday came from spaineblog.blogspot.com. i hope to send all to you from that site because i have noticed that a number of recent things i have written have disappeared from my email 'all mail' and 'all sent mail' sections. i may be doing something wrong to cause that, i don't know. but just to be sure i will send from here and maybe what i write will remain. we will see. only the word of God and my soul will last anyway so maybe i should just let everything blow away. Lord, it right now occurs that this is a good time to petition You that You would help me let go of everything that pertains to me. if there is anything in me that pertains to You that will never be destroyed. i am sensing a desire to be remembered apart from You. Lord, forgive this and change me. may i be brought to the point where all attempt to be remembered die. replace this with one simple, central desire - to do what You want, period. anyway got good news that mario is going to resurrect an old computer at church and put it in the library for anyone to make use of...it this comes about it will be joy.
work has petered out and is breathing its last today when i complete a little rust-proofing a salt spreader at church. only thing on the horizon to the end of the year is any salting and shoveling we may need done at church. the new man, full time, takes over jan. 1. i'm struggling a bit as God tries to move me toward obeying matt. 6:33 (seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things (food and clothing) shall be added unto you). the struggling is for the most part sublimated. i think back to when God put me into painting on my own two years ago. most days i was paralyzed, or near so, with fear...maybe terror would be a better description. i'm experiencing a bit a paralysis in not working a set amount of time daily on the house (my weakest area by far) but at least God has enabled me not to retreat deeply into 'roots' which nourish the self life such as reading or gluttony. oh i pray that God would move me into deep, persevering, resisting prayer as i most likely will have strong temptations in these areas in the days to come. one night He woke me up at 3 am peacefully (!) not in stark terror as i experienced two years ago...He is good! and He gave me about an hour and a half window to petition, to entreat, to supplicate before Him in some of the many spiritually weak spots. He is good! He works so gently, so considerately, so mercifully...He is good. oh i pray that He will fill my heart till i am forgotten and He is all. wow, what a long way to get to that point! but He's patient. oh Lord, don't let me presume on Your patience. oh make me quick to do what You want. make me like daniel, who when You spoke to him in a vision (i only hear You in the Word), You came to him and said, 'o daniel, a man greatly beloved, understand the words that i speak to you..for from the first day (daniel has been seeking to understand what God was saying for 21 days doing without pleasant things, mourning) that thou didst set thine heart to understand and to chasten thyself before Me and i am come'. make me seek You like daniel. make me seek You that You would produce matthew 6:33 in me etc, etc, etc!!!! Make me to eat for strength and not for drunkenness to please my pallet or soothe my bruised and weary soul. make me to, like Jesus, to do what You give me to do and not turn aside to the drug of reading or doing anything i like before i do what You want...so anyway that's where i am this week about work, no work and my response. may God do a good work in me and grant faith. Lord i believe, help Thou my unbelief.
this is the perfect time to really overcome the mountain of 54. ignoring 54 is a deep-seated sin in me. God has been moving me away from the buzz of continually being around people (the church or anyone else) to 54 -to clean it up and fix it up and to be a presence for good and for relationship with the neighbors round about. yes, so much of all my 'spiritual' activity is selfish! so God wants me to do in reference to the church in particular not what makes me feel good but what He specifically tells me to do. He wants me to fall into 54 and die so that He can bring much of His good fruit. oh HELP me follow You, Lord. so, yea, we'll see what happens at 54. may i not take a careless, whatever attitude toward what He wants.
this week end (27th) dv its lancaster for an unpainted, not-put-together scooter and a ton of food. i'm trying to buy everything i usually buy in bulk to get the 10% discount so a bunch of $ will be going out that day. i'm still thinking that before priming the metal i would like to get it modified so that i can easily fold it and carry it inside wherever my destinations will be. Lord, grant wisdom...show me the way, what to do. i need to really seek God's guidance in this but by His grace it should be a great blessing to push the scooter along the road with an organic orange in my pocket.
have been continuing to study the most common hebrew word for 'humble' that also means afflicted or in pain. as you know this is right down my ascetic alley but...hey..it's there. what do i say. got a chance to share a bit with a sister this week who is being afflicted (humbled) and trust the Lord uses this to give her grace to humble herself under His mighty hand that He may exalt her in due time. well almost out of time. have a good week. love, dad
work has petered out and is breathing its last today when i complete a little rust-proofing a salt spreader at church. only thing on the horizon to the end of the year is any salting and shoveling we may need done at church. the new man, full time, takes over jan. 1. i'm struggling a bit as God tries to move me toward obeying matt. 6:33 (seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things (food and clothing) shall be added unto you). the struggling is for the most part sublimated. i think back to when God put me into painting on my own two years ago. most days i was paralyzed, or near so, with fear...maybe terror would be a better description. i'm experiencing a bit a paralysis in not working a set amount of time daily on the house (my weakest area by far) but at least God has enabled me not to retreat deeply into 'roots' which nourish the self life such as reading or gluttony. oh i pray that God would move me into deep, persevering, resisting prayer as i most likely will have strong temptations in these areas in the days to come. one night He woke me up at 3 am peacefully (!) not in stark terror as i experienced two years ago...He is good! and He gave me about an hour and a half window to petition, to entreat, to supplicate before Him in some of the many spiritually weak spots. He is good! He works so gently, so considerately, so mercifully...He is good. oh i pray that He will fill my heart till i am forgotten and He is all. wow, what a long way to get to that point! but He's patient. oh Lord, don't let me presume on Your patience. oh make me quick to do what You want. make me like daniel, who when You spoke to him in a vision (i only hear You in the Word), You came to him and said, 'o daniel, a man greatly beloved, understand the words that i speak to you..for from the first day (daniel has been seeking to understand what God was saying for 21 days doing without pleasant things, mourning) that thou didst set thine heart to understand and to chasten thyself before Me and i am come'. make me seek You like daniel. make me seek You that You would produce matthew 6:33 in me etc, etc, etc!!!! Make me to eat for strength and not for drunkenness to please my pallet or soothe my bruised and weary soul. make me to, like Jesus, to do what You give me to do and not turn aside to the drug of reading or doing anything i like before i do what You want...so anyway that's where i am this week about work, no work and my response. may God do a good work in me and grant faith. Lord i believe, help Thou my unbelief.
this is the perfect time to really overcome the mountain of 54. ignoring 54 is a deep-seated sin in me. God has been moving me away from the buzz of continually being around people (the church or anyone else) to 54 -to clean it up and fix it up and to be a presence for good and for relationship with the neighbors round about. yes, so much of all my 'spiritual' activity is selfish! so God wants me to do in reference to the church in particular not what makes me feel good but what He specifically tells me to do. He wants me to fall into 54 and die so that He can bring much of His good fruit. oh HELP me follow You, Lord. so, yea, we'll see what happens at 54. may i not take a careless, whatever attitude toward what He wants.
this week end (27th) dv its lancaster for an unpainted, not-put-together scooter and a ton of food. i'm trying to buy everything i usually buy in bulk to get the 10% discount so a bunch of $ will be going out that day. i'm still thinking that before priming the metal i would like to get it modified so that i can easily fold it and carry it inside wherever my destinations will be. Lord, grant wisdom...show me the way, what to do. i need to really seek God's guidance in this but by His grace it should be a great blessing to push the scooter along the road with an organic orange in my pocket.
have been continuing to study the most common hebrew word for 'humble' that also means afflicted or in pain. as you know this is right down my ascetic alley but...hey..it's there. what do i say. got a chance to share a bit with a sister this week who is being afflicted (humbled) and trust the Lord uses this to give her grace to humble herself under His mighty hand that He may exalt her in due time. well almost out of time. have a good week. love, dad
Thursday, December 18, 2008
12.18.08 FREEDOM OF SPEECH? (souderton independent)
During the last few months I have written a letter to the editor of the Souderton Independent just about every week. A few letters have not been published. When a letter was not published I called and talked with the editor. She mentioned various reasons but most often stated that there was no room. The paper prints very few letters usually. The most I have seen might fill up one page but that was rare. Mostly it is one to three letters and there are weeks when no letters are printed. My response has been to say that opinion letters should be the centerpiece of any public newspaper and that no letter should be rejected unless libelous. Several weeks ago i sent a letter responding to the headline article presenting the viewpoint that the school board is driving teachers from the district. I was sent an email stating that Mike Morsch, general editor of Montgomery Newspapers had flagged it and that I could call him for the reason. Mr. Morsch stated that my articles needed to be 1. less preachy 2. shorter (300 words) 3. local.
In our discussion Morsch shared with me that the newspaper is not to be a bully pulpit for one voice. My response was that whether there is one voice or 1000 of all stripes of opinion each one should be published. It is very important that all voices be heard and that if, for a week or a while, there is only one voice that is fine. Others are free to respond as they will or not. The newspaper should not decide how many opinions or what type should be published. It is providing an extremely important civic duty in providing an indiscriminate public forum for free speech, discussion and debate. In not doing so it becomes a special interest and loses all importance.
Morsch's comment about making my writing less preachy seems to be on the special interest side of things as opposed to free speech. His encouragement of brevity is well taken but I don't feel needs to be a hard and fast rule. Same for the issue of local but again I do think that issues of state, national and world import certainly impact us locally and worthy of local discussion. I would think that a rule of 'first place given local' could be improved by the addition of 'any issue of vital public importance'.
I think the Souderton Independent should have two full pages dedicated to nothing but letters to the editor by ordinary citizens and pray that we don't lose it as an organ of free speech.
In our discussion Morsch shared with me that the newspaper is not to be a bully pulpit for one voice. My response was that whether there is one voice or 1000 of all stripes of opinion each one should be published. It is very important that all voices be heard and that if, for a week or a while, there is only one voice that is fine. Others are free to respond as they will or not. The newspaper should not decide how many opinions or what type should be published. It is providing an extremely important civic duty in providing an indiscriminate public forum for free speech, discussion and debate. In not doing so it becomes a special interest and loses all importance.
Morsch's comment about making my writing less preachy seems to be on the special interest side of things as opposed to free speech. His encouragement of brevity is well taken but I don't feel needs to be a hard and fast rule. Same for the issue of local but again I do think that issues of state, national and world import certainly impact us locally and worthy of local discussion. I would think that a rule of 'first place given local' could be improved by the addition of 'any issue of vital public importance'.
I think the Souderton Independent should have two full pages dedicated to nothing but letters to the editor by ordinary citizens and pray that we don't lose it as an organ of free speech.
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