6.30.2014 WHAT WE FORGOT ABOUT FORGIVENESS by leslie leyland fields

found in may 2014 christianity today, p30

ten years had passed since i had seen my father.
at the time i had no photographs of him,
just a vague memory of his face from our last visit.
when we pulled up in a rented van to the VA housing complex in sarasota, florida,
my husband saw him first.
there he is. duncan tipped his head to point.

i turned my eyes slowly.
a man was standing under the awning of the complex.
i saw his dark skin, his head, nearly bald and square and a barely visible neck.
it was him.
he was just as i remembered but bigger,
maybe 40 pounds heavier than the last time,
when i had left my young children to fly down for three days.
i had not forgotten those three days of silence.

now i stared at him, frozen.
how do i play this scene? i thought.
loving daughter greeting long lost father?
kind daughter bringing her children to meet their grandfather for the first time?
angry daughter wanting just a few words from her father?

duncan stopped the van.
i got out slowly and opened the doors for the kids, holding my breath.
they piled out one after another.
my father stood there seeming not to see them,
as if they were inconsequential to his life-which they were.
he knew nothing about them, had never even seen photographs of them.
i had never sent any because my father was barely interested in his own children,
let alone his children's children.

when the last one jumped out, suddenly i was on.
i knew what to do.
i hugged the strange man, patting him on the back with the tips of my fingers.
i did not want to get too close to him.

'Hi. how ah ya? he asked in his massachusetts accent.
he smiled a little, showing a few remaining teeth, all broken.

'good. we had a little trouble finding this place' , i said with false brightness.

it had taken us two days to get here.
we had flown from kodiak, alaska,
from the far northwest corner to the far southeast corner of the country.
it was spring break 2006.
mostly this was a trip to see him.
he was 84, so i knew this might be my children's only chance to meet him.

they didn't know anything about him and they never asked.
but over my then 28 years of marriage and 16 years of parenting,
i had learned from my husband and my children what fathers were for.
and i wanted them to know who my father was, for themselves.
someday they would care.

two hours into our visit i had run out of conversation.
i was quiet and grim.
he hadn't asked the names of my children or spoken to them.
he had barely spoken to me.
scrambling to claim a memory from the visit, i suggested we go for ice cream,
his favorite food.
we stood in line for our cones and ate them under a tree, watching the traffic.
just before we left the stand, i told duncan to take a photo.
i wanted to remember this moment.

my father sat at the picnic table with a slight smirk on his face,
looking utterly content.
i stood behind him, my lips taut, mouth clamped shut,
containing as much emptiness and anger as i could hold.
how can i still want?
how can i forgive him for all the years past, for this moment even now?
he is utterly content with his ice cream,
while his daughter sits beside him starving to death
and thinks the ice cream is pretty good today, isn't it?

i would not come back, to see him again, i decided, no matter what. d

five years later, i got a call from my sister.
'leslie, dad was t the VA hospital last week.
they thought he might have had a heart attack. i found out today.
'how did you find out?
'i talked to dad on the phone.
'you're talking to dad?
'yes. i've been calling him almost every week, she said, her voice calm and assured.
'every week? and he talks to you?
i couldn't hid my confusion.
i could believe that out of the six siblings, she was the one calling him.
it was her room he had visited at night when he was home,
when the rest of us were in bed.
we didn't know until decades later.

that was not his only offense.
he either couldn't or wouldn't keep a job,
leaving us to a childhood of shameful poverty.
when i was 13 years old and my mother was going to school so she could seek work,
my father took the bit of money we had left and drove away intending never to come back.
unfortunately, weeks later, he returned.
years later when he finally scraped together some money
he moved 2000 miles to florida to live on a dilapidated sailboat.

'why are you doing this? i asked my sister.
'i've forgiven him, leslie.
i hung up. the room was spinning.
as the way such things happen, suddenly the entire world felt abuzz with the matter of forgiveness.
the Lord's Prayer became unsettling,
'forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
how many times had i said those words and not heard them?how could i let go of his sins and crimes against us?
and what of the commandment 'honor your father and your mother'?
surely if a father or mother acts dishonorably we need not honor them.
i had built most of my life around that premise.

i did not have to look far or long to find others struggling to forgive a father, a mother, a stepfather, a foster mother, a grandparent
-all the people who were supposed to love and nurture us
and for many reasons did not.
it's an ancient story, as old as cain and abel and their fallen parentss:
SINNERS RAISING SINNERS.
the iniquity of the fathers and mothers visited upon the children to the third and fourth generations
(ex. 34.7; num 14.18)
but however universal and however inevitable it feels,
the issue is particularly compelling in our own time and place.

families are unraveling at what seems like an unprecedented rate.
nearly half of first births in the united states are now to unmarried mothers.
about 1 in US children are raised below the poverty line.
forty percent of first time marriages will fail,
leaving children in relational crisis and loss.
more than 7 million children live with a parent who has alcohol or drug problems
and one in four families are affected by mental illness.
among families with two parents, about half (44 %) are headed by two parents who work;
another one in four families (26%) are headed by a single working parent,
leaving these adults absent far more from their children than they would like.

jill hubbard, a cl9inical psychologist with new life ministries in laguna beach, california,
sees the fallout of family brokenness up close and personal.
'at least half of the people i see each week are battling some degree of unforgiveness,
especially of parents, she told me.
'they may not always realize the condition of their hearts, but you can see in their lives the replay
of the hurts they haven't dealt with.

even relatively healthy and stable homes suffer from wounds and deficiencies.
no matter how dedicated to her children, no matter how church going and God loving she is,
every parent is plagued by failures.
that's part of the reason i wrote my book-to give it to my own children. 
i know i am.

after walking the stony path of forgiving my father, i am convinced we must all walk that same path.
if we are to thrive as image bearers;
if the church is to be a salve to a wounded culture;
if our country and our communities are to prosper;
if our own families and children are to break free from generational sins,
we will need to learn and practice forgiveness toward those who often have hurt us most:
our mothers and fathers.

as i urge others in this call, i'm not a lone prophet bleating a strange message in the wilderness.
forgiveness is trendy.
in the past 15 years, the topic has been ushered out of the church
and into the mainstream and primetime,
so much so that jeanne safer wrote for psychology today,
'from the political to the personal,
americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness'.
a number of academic institutions  have formed forgiveness projects and institutes,
including the international forgiveness institute at the university of wisconsin-madison
and the stanford forgiveness projects.
fueled by foundation grants and hope,
hundreds of studies in the fields of medicine, mental health and the social sciences
affirm the extraordinary power of forgiveness to
lower blood pressure, reduce stress and depression, boost the immune system
and increase feelings of compassion and optimism even for the most traumatized individuals.

beyond the west, forgiveness projects have brought healing and reparation to countries devastated by
state led and ethnically driven brutality, including sierra leone, rwanda, burundi and south africa.
these projects have at least interrupted generational cycles of vengeance, hatred and genocide.

back in the states, the message of forgiveness has taken a decidedly american tone,
becoming increasingly secularized and individualized, particularly in the past five years.
the names of authors and articles are too many to list here, but a theme emerges:
forgiveness is a choice
and it's primarily for our good.
fred luskin, director of the stanford forgiveness projects,
delineates a nine step process to 'forgiving for good', stating outright,
'forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else'.
some forgiveness outlets counsel empathy toward the offender,
but for many the impetus is personal health:
releasing bitterness toward the offender,
detaching from the offender
and regaining well being and control.

the 'therapeutic forgiveness' model has entered the public parlance as a kind
self administered miracle cure.
a new age blog running the headline, 'i forgive for myself',
typifies the reigning therapeutic understanding of forgiveness.
the author states, 'i am not forgiving for the good of the other person.
i am forgiving for the good of myself so i can be free and move forward'.
so goes the mantra: forgive and set yourself free.
dr. phil joins the chorus, urging his readers toward forgiveness to gain 'emotional closure'.
to get there, we do no more than is absolutely necessary.
he says we are to find our 'Minimal Effective Response'
-'the easiest thing you can do to resolve your pain'.

christian theologians have played a significant part in crafting the therapeutic forgiveness message.
lewis b. smedes, the late ethicist, was one of the first to pitch forgiveness as a gift to ourselves
(in the classic forgive and forget):
'to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you'.
the quote is so widely used it has taken on the force of gospel truth.
such messages have only increased since then.
joyce meyer's 2012 book on forgiveness is titled Do Yourself a Favor..Forgive.
and in january speaking on CBS This Morning about his new book on the topic,
megachurch pastor t. d. jakes assured the panel that
'forgiveness is a gift you give yourself'.
the book is pitched as 'the most important step you can take right now
toward personal healing and professional advancement.

to be sure, a fuller christian witness has remained in the public square
-the forgiveness of the shooter of five amish schoolgirls, for example
and the forgiveness offered by the mother of slain black teenager jordan davis.
but multiple articles appear online in christian outlets every month extolling the same message:
forgiveness is a choice and forgiveness is for my own happiness and peace.

all these proclamations, from both inside and outside the church, demonstrate
that we have not lost the concept of forgiveness as a moral good.
but we have narrowed the good to ourselves alone.
(unsurprisingly, the near unanimous chorus to forgive for our own sake
has spawned a minority but notable backlash
-like the author of the psychology today article above,
who rightly argues that if forgiveness is truly for our happiness,
we might feel happier withholding forgiveness.)

i do not wish to diminish the aspirations and achievement of anyone who pursues forgiveness.
but i worry that abandoning its deeper biblical foundation has gutted it of its full power and aim.
we have to return to the new testament commands to 'forgive as we've been forgiven'.
this raison d'etre rescues the whole project of forgiveness
from its worst forms of superiority and self absorption.
Jesus uses the parable of the unmerciful servant to illustrate our true condition and need
-and the full scope of the remedy.

we know the parable: that man with massive debts who is called before the king is us. (matt. 18)
we're hopeless before the holy king.
we stand there shoulder to shoulder with every other debtor,
even those who owe us money and honor and parental love, all of us complicit
in what l. gregory jones calls 'the universal disaster of sinful brokenness'.
our only hope is the king Himself and He does it.
He clears our debts entirely.
we know what it cost to clear those debts: the death of Jesus, the only one who could pay them.

believing all of this did not make my own forgiveness of my father simple or immediate, of course.
after that phone call with my sister, i made several trips to florida over the next year and a half.
i went at first with the words of micah in my ears,
'and what does the Lord require of you?
to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God' (6.8)
i went wanting to love mercy, but my father and i clashed.
he proclaimed his atheism.
i was defensive.
i remembered all the reasons i never liked him.
and in every kindness i extended to him, i mourned that he had never done the same for me.

but i began to see him more fully.
i saw his eagerness when i showed up each morning to visit.
he called on my birthday.
after his stroke, when he awoke to see me standing beside him,
he began to weep.
i placed my hand on his shoulder,
the first time i had ever touched him with compassion
and we wept together silently ,
both of us for his long, sad life and for all that had divided us.
i finally recognized his mental illness, the root of his inability to love others.
i realized i was not the only one jumped, robbed and bleeding beside the road:
he lay there too.
with every recognition, my heart both broke and healed.
between visits, i called and sent letters, presents and books.
i was loving my father. i was loving mercy.
i was laying down his selfishness and crimes, leaving them in the hands of god.

but things did not end as i hoped.
my father never voiced interest in or love for me.
he did not acknowledge his wrongs.
my extension of mercy did not lead him to plead for God's mercy.
when his heart,so weakened that he fell into a come,
my sister held the phone up to his ear and i spoke words of love and forgiveness,
but he was unable to respond.
when he died two years after my return to his life, i cried for days.

some might interpret these events as proof that christian forgiveness
-the kind predicated on God's forgiveness of us-
doesn't work in the real world.
i released my father from his debts against me, but it didn't seem to change him.
then i made a cr4ucial mistake: i reentered relationship.
i loved him and served him.
in the end, i was hurt far more than if i had simply found my 'minimal effective response'
and then moved on with my life.

but that final event is not the real end of the story.
i end at an earlier time, when four of my siblings and i gathered in my father's tiny room.
we perched wherever we could, all of us turned toward him.
he was wearing a beige shirt with green stripes and the khaki shorts my sister and i had bought him.

i looked around the room that day and blinked with wonder.
it had been 16 years since we'd all been together.
now, our family was reconstituted around the very one who had split us apart so many years before.
i thought of the old testament story of joseph,
of the scene in the dining hall with all his brothers,
the reconstitution of his won family.
how unlikely, impossible even, it was.
the 10 older brothers sitting below him had ended (note: 'entered'? the life joseph
had  known known some 16 years before.
but their intent to harm had not utterly destroyed joseph's life
and neither would he let it destroy their lives.

so it was with us.
our father had wounded each of us in significant ways,
but we had decided the same thing: we would not pay back what was given to us.
we were there to bless.
we were there to honor.
we were there not to silence the past but to reclaim it together.
we were there to become forgiving people, people who could forgive one another as well.

my father was confused by our presence, but i saw him tear up with emotion one afternoon.
another time he acknowledged with stuttering words that he was not worthy of our attention.
but we were not there to measure worth:
we were there to love.
when he died months later, he did not die alone.
two of his children were by his side.

the ministers of therapeutic forgiveness have a role to play,
but their message is deficient in significant ways.
they have made forgiveness too emotional, too private and too small.
but they are right about its power and freedom.
biblical forgiveness does release us and not simply from our own anger and hurt.
biblical forgiveness releases us to bring the mercy we received from God
out into the world to others.
forgiveness does simplify:
the more forgiving we become, the less offense we take from others.
forgiveness does liberate:
it opens our hearts rather than closes them to the suffering of others.
forgiveness does empower:
it enables us to heal families and to break generational sins.

we may begin the journey of forgiveness to ease our own burdens.
but along the way we discover a chance to live out the fullness of the gospel:
loving the unlovely, forgiving seventy times seven.
in so doing, we reflect the kingdom of God among us.

i could so easily have missed it.
i could so easily have listened to those voices
rather than to the man who hung on the cross praying over his betrayers,
'Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.
i the moment of his executioners' greatest wrongdoing (and therefore their greatest need)
Jesus offered forgiveness.
we are called to do the same.
we will not mend the entire human family,
nor will we ever forgive as perfectly and completely as Jesus.
but we are called to try, out of obedience and love for the Father who forgave us.

let us begin with our own families, bringing to our ruined homes
the balm of Christ's boundless mercy.
from there, who knows where forgiveness will lead?

it was several years ago when i believe i finally forgave my father, pouring over his papers that outlined his daily activities to see time and again that the things i held against him in my heart were not true. i wept much and was graciously healed during that blessed time when God brought me to forgive my dear father...who i had abandoned through the most difficult years of his life. God has been teaching me and showing me the inner hatred and unforgiveness that i have so benignly
(or so i thought) practiced toward him, my wife susan and many others. now i see the same thing in others...many others. its always practiced with such calmness masking the hidden pus of the soul. it is frightening to see how wicked man is...unbelievable to personally have my eyes opened so i could be forgiven and receive His grace. oh Lord continue to open my eyes that i may see...that i may be healed...that i may be crucified, that You may live through a wretch-cleansed- like me.

6.20.2014 SOW ONE FOR GOD, ONE FOR THE EARTH, ONE FOR YOURSELF

this was shared with me yesterday as i came along a street in the frankford section of philadelphia.
the goal of the day was to give out as many invitations to a free blockparty to be held this sunday afternoon in the parking lot of st. mark's episcopal church.
she, a friend who were sitting out on an open second story patio and i began talking about the block party and then went to Jesus.
she is hispanic background and told the story of how God prospered her father in his native land. his plants would always thrive and bear much good fruit whereas the plants of others near by withered and died. this all came about because i had brought four five-gallon buckets full of little tomato plants to philly to see if anyone would like to plant one or two. i told her that i had decided to make this year a year of sabbath rest for my garden and not work it or plant anything. when she asked why i said that i had always wondered how in the world the israelites could live every 7th year when God told them to not plant or work their fields but let them lie fallow...and then i saw the verses where God promised to give them so much they would have enough to live through that year of no planting and no working (guess they all went on 'missions trips' or something!)...and as a result decided to do the same this year (i have been gardening for more than six years)
just to see what would happen...and that God gave me, literally, hundreds of healthy little tomato plants...and carrots growing all over the place!! not to speak of other garden plants, not so plentiful, also sending up some new plants. that's when she shared the above story.
as she shared a sensed that this was a divine appointment for me..that God was showing me a bit of a different way to go..not only with how i garden but awakening a little dim spark of a desire to truly die to myself in every way so that, being dead, God might out of one dead bring forth much fruit. O may God mercifully work to fan this little spark into a flame that would end in a heart totally given over to Him and totally dead to me...that men would know nothing about me but would end up genuinely praising God!

5.15.2014 COMMENTARY ON GALATIANS by Martin Luther

Luther's declaration (incomplete here..)

after he had publicly expounded this epistle, he took in hand to interpret the same again, in form as is here set forth;
the cause he declareth in the following words:
'i have taken in hand, in the name of the Lord, yet once again to expound this epistle of st. paul to the galatians;
not because i desire to teach new things or such as ye have not known before,
since that, by the grace of Christ, paul is now thoroughly known unto you,
but for that we have to fear lest satan take from us this doctrine of faith
and bring into the church again the doctrine of works and men's traditions.
wherefore it is very necessary that this doctrine be kept in continual practice and public exercise,
both of hearing and reading.

and although it be never so well known, yet the devil,
who rageth continually, seeki9ng to devour us, is not dead.
likewise our flesh and old man is yet alive.
besides this, all kinds of temptations do vex and oppress us on every side;
so that this doctrine can never be taught, urged and repeated enough.
if this doctrine be lost, then is also the doctrine of truth, life and salvation, also lost and gone.
if this doctrine flourish, then all good things flourish;
religion, the true service of God,l the glory of God,
the right knowledge of all things which are necessary for a christian man to know.
because, therefore, we would be occupied and not idle we will begin now where we made an end,
according to the saying of the song of sirach:
'when a man hath done what he can, he must begin again'.

the argument of the epistle of st. paul to the galatians.

it behoveth us first of all to see what matter st. paul here treateth of.
the argument is this: he goeth about to establish the doctrine of faith, grace, forgiveness of sins
or christian righteousness and all other kinds of righteousness.
for there are divers sorts of righteousness.
there is a civil or political righteousness,
which Kings, princes of this world, magistrates and lawyers deal withal.
there is also a ceremonial righteousness, which the traditions of men do teach.
this righteousness parents and schoolmasters may teach without danger,
because they do not attribute to it any power to satisfy for sin, to please god or to deserve grace,
but they teach such ceremonies as are only necessary for the correction of manners
and certain customs concerning this life.
besides these, there is another righteousness called the righteousness of the law
or the ten commandments which moses teacheth.
this we do also teach but after the doctrine of faith.

above all these there is yet another righteousness, to wit the righteousness of faith
or christian righteousness, the which we must diligently discern from the others aforesaid,
for they are quite contrary to this righteousness,
both because they flow out of the laws of Kings and rulers,
the traditions of the pope and the commandments of god
and also because they consist in our works
and may be wrought by us either by our natural strength, (as the papi8sts term it)
or else by the gift of God.
for these kinds of righteousness are also the gift of God, like all other good things are,
which we do enjoy.

but the most excellent righteousness of faith,
which God through Christ without any works imputeth to us,
is neither political nor ceremonial nor the righteousness of God's law, nor consisteth of works,
but is clean contrary to these.
that is to say it is a mere passive righteousness, as the others are active.
for in the righteousness of faith we work nothing
we render nothing unto God,.
but we only receive and suffer another to word in us,
that is to say God.
therefore it seemeth good unto us to call this righteousness of faith, the passive righteousness.
this is a righteousness hidden in a mystery which the world doth not know, yea,
christians themselves do not thoroughly understand i
and can hardly take hold of it in their temptations.
therefore it must be diligently taught and continually practiced.
and whoso doth not understand or apprehend this righteousnes
in afflictions and terrors of conscience,
must needs be overthrown.
for there is no comfort of conscience so firm and sure as this passive righteousness is.

for the troubled conscience, in view of god's judgment, hath no remedy against
desperation and eternal death,
unless it take hold of the forgiveness of sins by grace freely offered in Christ Jesus,
which is this passive faith or christian righteousness,
which if it can apprehend, then it may be at rest and can boldly say:
i seek not active or working righteousness, for if i had it i could not trust in it
neither dare i set it against the judgment of God.
then i abandon myself from all active righteousness, both of my own and of God's law
and embrace only that passive righteousness
which is the righteousness of grace, mercy and forgiveness of sins.
briefly i rest only upon that righteousness which is the righteousness of Christ and of the Holy Ghost.
the greatest knowledge and the highest wisdom of christians is
not to know the law,
to be ignorant of works and of the whole active righteousness,
especially when the conscience wrestleth with God.
like as on the contrary amongst those who are not of god's people,
the greatest wisdom is to know and to urge the law and the active righteousness.
but it is a strange thing and unknown to the world 
to teach christians to be ignorant of the law
and to live before God as if there were no law.
notwithstanding except thou be ignorant of the law and be assuredly persuaded in thine heart,
that there is now no law nor wrath of God
but only grace and mercy for Christ's sake thou canst not be saved,
for by the law cometh the knowledge of sin.
contrariwise works and the keeping of the law is so strictly required in the world
as if there were no promise or grace.

here then is required a wise and faithful disposer of the word of God
who can so moderate the law that it may be kept within its bounds.
he that teacheth that men are justified before God by the observation of the law
passeth the bounds of the law
and confoundeth these two kinds of righteousness, active and passive,
and is an ill logician, for he doth not rightly divide.
contrariwise he that setteth forth the law and works to the old man
and the promise and forgiveness of sins and God's mercy to the new man,
divideth the word well.
for the flesh, or the old man, must be coupled with the law and works;
the spirit or the new man must be joined with the promise of god and His mercy.
wherefore when i see a man oppressed with the law
terrified with sin
and thirsting for comfort,
it is time that i removed out of his sight the law and active righteousness
and that i should set before him, by the gospel, the christian or passive righteousness,
which, excluding moses and his law, offereth the promise made in Christ,
Who came for the afflicted and sinners.
here the man is raised up again and conceiveth the good hope,
neither is he any more under the law, but under grace.
how not under the law?
according to the new man to whom the law doth not appertain.
for the law hath its bounds unto Christ, as paul saith,
'for Christ is the end of the law' rom. 10.4,
who being come, moses ceaseth with his law, circumcision, the sacrifices, the sabbaths,
yea and all the prophets.

this is our divinity whereby we teach how to put a difference between these two kinds of righteousness, active and passive,
to the end that manners and faith, works and grace, policy and religion,
should not be confounded or take the one for the other.
both are necessary, but must be kept within their bounds.
christian righteousness appertaineth to the new man
and the righteousness of the law appertaineth to the old man, which is born of flesh and blood.
upon this old man, as upon an ass,  there must be laid a burden that may press him down
and he must not enjoy the freedom of the spirit of grace,
except he first put upon him the new man, by faith in Christ
(which notwithstanding is not fully done in this life),
then may he enjoy the kingdom and inestimable gift of grace.

this i say, to the end that no man should think we reject or forbid good works,
as the papists do slander us,
neither understanding what themselves say
or what we teach.
they know nothing but the righteousness of the law
and yet they will judge of that doctrine which is far above the law,
of which it is impossible that the carnal man should be the judge.
therefore they must needs be offended for they can see no higher than the law.
whatsoever, then, is above the law is to them a great offence.
but we imagine as it were, two worlds, the on heavenly, the other earthly.
in these we place these two kinds of righteousness, being separate the one far from the other.
the righteousness of the law is earthly
and hath to do with earthly things.
but as the earth bringeth not forth fruit except it be watered first from above,
even so by the righteousness of the law,
in doing many things we do nothing
and in fulfilling the law we fulfil it not,
except first we are made righteous by the christian righteousness
which appertaineth nothing to the righteousness of the law
of to the earthly and active righteousness. 
but this righteousness is heavenly which we have not of ourselves but receive it from heaven.
we work not for it, but by grace it is wrought in us and is apprehended by faith.
whereby we mount up above all laws and all works.
so that like as we have borne the image of the earthly adam,
so we shall bear the image of the heavenly adam,
which is the new man in a new world,
where is no law, no sin, no remorse or sting of conscience, no death,
but perfect joy, righteousness, grace, peace, salvation and glory.

why, do we then nothing/
do we work nothing for the obtaining of this righteousness?
i answer, nothing at all.
for this is perfect righteousness,
to do nothing,
to hear nothing,
to know nothing of the law or or works,
but to know and believe this only,
that Christ is gone to the Father and is not now seen,
that He sitteth in heaven at the right hand of His Father,
not as judge, but made unto us of God,
wisdom, righteousness, holiness and redemption.
briefly, that He is our high priest intreating for us and reigning over us and in us by grace.
in this heavenly righteousness sin can have no place, for there is no law
and where no law is there can be no transgression (rom. 4.15).
seeing then that sin hath here no place there can be no anguish of conscience, no fear, no heaviness.
therefore st. john saith (I john 5.18):
he that is born of God cannot sin.

but if there is any fear or grief of conscience,
it is a token that this righteousness is withdrawn, that grace is hidden
and that Christ is darkened and out of sight.
but where Christ is truly seen, there must be full and perfect joy in the Lord,
with peace of conscience which thus thinketh:
although i am a sinner by the law and under condemnation of the law,
yet i despair not, yet i die not,
because Christ liveth, who is both my righteousness and my everlasting life.
in that righteousness and life i have no sin, no fear, no sting of death....

6.9.2014 CALLED TO BE UNCOOL by n.d. wilson

found in christianity today, may 2014, p32

cows like to turn their backs to the wind.
at least, all the cows i know do.
slowly, awkwardly, eventually,
all that beef will run parallel to the breeze.

people aren't too different.
we align ourselves safely into herds,
comforted by the hot breath of others breaking on the backs of our necks and ears.
then we huff and we puff and blow at the fools
turned turned in the wrong direction.

is there anything more compelling to us than the heavy synchronized breathing of a mob, especially when combined with cocked eyebrows of disdain and curled lips of disgust?
this is the zeitgeist (the spirit of the time; the general characteristics of the age)

(note: love not the world neither the things that are in the world.
if any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. I john 2.15
how can ye believe, which receive hour one of another
and seek not the honor that cometh from God only? john 5.44)

inside the church and out
and it will judge you until you conform and commune.
this is cool shaming
and it will make you squirm and itch to
turn your back to the win,
to stand with all the other cows.

the trendsetters and vision casters in a herd start the movement,
motivated by profit or power or personal gain,
as well as genuine striving for holiness and righteousness.
they target their breath, their words, their media, (means of communication; note: dress, talk, interests, facebook, etc.)
and their coolness accordingly.

but for the rest of us, the single greatest factor in our decision making is
simple COMPLIANCE. (acquiecing, conforming, yielding)
we turn with the crowd because we want the awkwardness to stop.
we want them all to stop looking at us like that.
we want to feel the wind of opinion at our backs.

how did otherwise intelligent people go along with
the third reich, the invasion of poland, the extermination of jews?(note: to to speak of openly slaughtered babies)
we may assume they were evil, brainwashed or a bit of both
and in part we're right.
but when was the last time you hedged on an opinion
because of the hot breathing of those around you?
when did you last choose your words based more on the politics

(politic-1. shrewd or prudent in practical matters; tactful; diplomatic
2.contrived in a shrewd and practical way; expedient-1. tending to promote some proposed or desired object; fit or suitable for the purpose; proper under the circumstances. 2. conducive to advantage or interest
as opposed to right.)
of a situation than on truth?

the power of the zeitgeist helped propel the agonies of race based slavery
and the zeitgeist threw it away in a bloodbath.
the zeitgeist gave us institutional racism and when enough shame had been applied,
the zeitgeist (at least officially)
struck it down.
the zeitgeist set the medes and the persians praying to darius
and threw daniel in the lions den. (daniel 6)
the zeitgeist can kick up the fervor of ungodly war
and it can hang its head in cowardice when a true challenge comes.

the zeitgeist is a fickle master, because the zeitgeist is us.

it's no wonder that one of the first tasks of any prophet was to make himself shameful.
john the baptist wore camel hair and ate insects.
isaiah had to walk around naked for years.
ezekiel had to cook his food over dung.
elijah ate only food carried by ravens-nasty carrion birds.
the first thing God told hosea to do was to marry a whore.

prophets must be fearless,
immune to the pressures of kings and crowds,
aligned only with the breath of God.

we are in need of prophets now.
christians are scattered,
but the world's wind is (note: and the 'church's wind...
both saying, 'conform outwardly and you are 'O.K. ie. 'nice'))
is heavy and unified.

truth and ultimate glory may be in the hands of our Maker,
but the keys of earthly shame are in the hands of the mod.
prop0hets must be immune to (note: better yet drop out of) floggings on facebook and twitter.
they must be fearless before friends and tenure committees and stadiums filled with the priests of Baal.
the cool shaming can have no sting.
the world is busy applying pressure on 'social issues'
and christians are busy caving left and right,
trying to accept fresh cultural dogma simply so that they might be accepted.

many of us would rather be in compliance with the crowd of NOW
than successfully image the loves and hates of our Father.
but his breath rolls the north sea and props up mountains. 
His words ripen fields of grain and infants still hidden in wombs' warmth.
may we run parallel to His breeze alone.

all of our positions-especially in controversy
-should flow from honest exegesis, not from the local coffee shop.
and WE ALL COULD BENEFIT FROM some SHAME.
when hot pressure comes we need to be immune.
if God wants it, we should be ready to
wear camel hair while cooking locusts and raven scraps
over a dung fire in the lion's den
after our marriage to a whore.

shame is easy to find.
all we have to do is STOP HIDING.
we already have seriously uncool friends.
moses. paul. Christ Himself.
enjoy them.
(note: BE)like them.
in public.
offend the zeitgeist.
become immune.

when we turn we must turn for Truth, never for the mob
-not when it's running to the revival tents
and not when it's running to the guillotines.

note: whosoever therefor shall confess me before men,
him will I confess also before My Father which is in heaven.
but whosoever shall deny Me  before men,
him will i deny before My Father which is in heaven. matthew 10.32-3

6.8.2014 WHY I GAVE UP ALCOHOL-d.l.mayfield

found in christianity tody may, 2015,  p35f

i am thirty, i am an evangelical christian and i don't drink.
not because i have a problem with alcohol abuse,
although i enjoy a good sobriety story as much as the next person.
my narrative is a bit more jarring, coming across to fellow liberated evangelicals
as a throwback to our not-too-distant conservative past.
in a culture that encourages us to celebrate the good things of life
-instagramming an artfully arranged salad,
tweeting about pinot noir,
posting facebook albums full of vacations
-choosing not to drink carries a stigma of pietism,
a whiff of refusing to party with Jesus.
a faith built on meaningless acts of righteousness,
of disdaining the world and its evil values.

in the pastor's home i grew up in, alcohol was a non issue:
not a drop in our house, only grape juice in the communion cups.
save for my mother's relatives-who served as a warning,
since most of them abused substances at some point
-nobody i knew drank alcohol.
i believed we were teetotalers, just like all other christians.
then, when i was 17, i discovered a stash of wine coolers in a broken dryer in our garage.
as it turns out, my parents liked to indulge now and then,
but had kept it a secret from my siblings and me.
i suddenly had to mentally rearrange everything i believed about alcohol.
wasn't it inherently evil?
didn't it lead to only bad things
-sour breath, ruined relationships, cars full of teenagers careening out of control on the way to prom?

after i found them out, my parents began keeping a bottle of wine in the cupboard
and some coconut rum on top of the fridge.
and i began to see that having an occasional drink was a grown up way of enjoying yourself.
it became a signpost of the wider cultural appreciation our family
was developing as we eschewed our fundamentalist past.
when i was of age, my older sister bought me my first drink:
a white russian, a la the big lebowski.
'welcome to the club, she told me and we clinked glasses.
it was the perfect amount of naughty, the perfect amount of sweet.

since then, i have weaved in and out of various christian circles,
from conservative pentecostal churches (no drinking)
to baptist seminaries (wine and craft beer okay)
to ecumenical mission organizations (endlessly varied.)
all along i have been an occasional drinker, a social imbiber,
free to live my life in a way that glorifies god.
i have enjoyed the camaraderie that bars can create the solidarity
of good christian kids enjoying a beer together
and the way it finally felt like we were starting to fit in, loosen up.

in the past few years, though, my beliefs have changed-or been changed
my husband and i joined a christian order among the poor, inspired by the likes of shane claiborne,
who seek the face of Christ among the most marginalized of society.
our first shock when we moved into our low income apartment in a midwestern inner city
was the amount of substance abuse that surrounded us.
i hear the sounds every day:
patsy cline blaring next door, the off key singing,
the shouting matches, the cackling, the doors banging,
the bodies crashing to the floor in a stupor.
i would go to get my mail and find a man blocking the stairs,
passed out and unresponsive at 11 in the morning.

we have neighbors who eat raw chicken when they are drunk and get terribly sick;
others who suffer from alcohol-related psychosis and bang symphonies
on the trees outside our window at all hours of the night.
people knock on our door with candy for my daughter,
waving and talking to her even though she is asleep in the other room.
people break windows or almost fall out of them.
empty vodka growlers line the living room of one;
another almost sets our building on fire
when he forgets about the chicken fried steak smoked to smithereens on his stove. 
there are people in our building who die because of alcohol
-cirrhosis of the liver, asphyxiation from their vomit,
slow sinking suicides every where we turn.

and suddenly, alcohol is no longer fun.
instead it is a substance that changes my friends and neighbors,
making them unpredictable and unsafe;
it leaves me feeling helpless and afraid and vulnerable.
it makes me question my faith in god, struggling to find hope for those who are addicted.
there are other neighbors here too,
people who are in various stages of recovery and they help me.
they drink their coffee black and smoke in the parking lots.
they shake their heads and tell me they don't touch the stuff anymore.
they find that every sober day is a gift.

after a year of living among them, i gradually just...stopped.
i dreaded going to the liquor store,
imagining the faces i would see there.
i saw my neighbors get off the bus with a 12-pack in each hand and i was less likely to get a beer the next time i was out.
eventually, i realized i could abstain from alcohol entirely,
that it could even be a spiritual discipline for me
-a way to pray and identify with my literal neighbors, who could not stop.

the apostle paul writes in romans 1.17 that
'the kingdom of god is not a matter of eating and drinking,
but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit',
meaning that refusing any created good doesn't secure a right standing before God
-and enjoying a created good doesn't hinder it either.
and yet i was starting to take very seriously what paul wrote a few short verses later:
'it is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble' v21 ESV
in my neighborhood, it was becoming clear: righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit
were tied to breaking the chains of my neighbors' addictions.
since so many were caught in the cycle of stumbling and picking themselves up again,
it became good for me to not drink, as a way to stand with the brothers and sisters i was learning to love.

as surprising as my gradual new found abstention was,
it began to seem like a concrete way to identify with the victims of alcohol
i was seeing every day.
as it turns out, i was walking a path well worn by christians of previous centuries
(particularly the past two)
who
also wanted to stand against alcohol's deleterious and systemic effects.
temperance movements, often founded and organized by women,
were a direct reaction to the perceived social evils of alcohol  in the 1800s and 1900s.
as historian ruth bordin writes in her biography of the Woman's Christian Temperance Union,
the 19th century saw the heaviest period of drinking in american history
(partially because both water and milk were relatively unsafe for consumption).
bordin notes that in the year 1900, americans spent five times as much on alcoholic drinks
than they did on public education...

women especially discerned the connections between alcohol abuse and the people who most suffered from it:
namely, other women and children.
as bordin writes in woman and temperance,
'the nineteenth century drunkard's reputation as a wife beater, child abuser,
and sodden, irresponsible nonprovider was not undeserved'.
one prominent temperance advocate was carry nation,
a spitfire who believed she had divine orders to smash up bars with an axe (literally).
nation, whose first husband died of alcoholism the year after their daughter was born,
called herself 'a bulldog running along at the feet of Jesus, barking at what he doesn't like'.
between 1900 and 1920, she was arrested 30 times for vandalizing saloons.

at this point in american history, women had little to no rights in regards o property and possession.
the men of the families could legally drink their own wages and those of their wives as well.
women, especially christian women, started to organize and lobby against alcohol,
starting from within heir homes and gradually moving into the political sphere.
temperance became associated with a host of other women's rights,
most notably suffrage- women's right to vote and run for office.
so too did the temperance movement stem from the belief that alcohol
disproportionately affected the poor and marginalized,
usually in concentrated, urban areas.
many times the women involved in the temperance movement
would gather inside saloons, singling hymns, prostrating themselves on the floor
and praying, begging the owners to close their doors.

the larger church culture, too, fueled by the spiritual revivals of he 18th and 19th centuries,
bean to denounce alcohol altogether.
protestant preachers such as lyman beecher and later billy sunday
emphasized personal salvation and moral piety in preparation for the Second Coming.
nearly all of the largest protestant denominations began to denounce alcohol
hand in hand with what they saw as the other evils of the age: slavery, prostitution and gambling.
as early as 1820, denominations such as the methodists, baptists and congregationalists
began to require abstention for membership, causing a shift in mainstream teetotalism.

while the effects of the temperance movement were not all positive (eg Prohibition),
christians' willingness to advocate for social and civic change
on behalf of suffering friends and neighbors is a powerful model for us today.
just as we currently have no problem denouncing slavery, prostitution
and to a lesser extent, gambling
-all for the ways they harm persons and communities
-we'd be wise to reconsider the valid and pressing reasons why so many christians before us
gave up alcohol completely.

if temperance has a historical context based in social justice,
why do i find myself feeling so alone in drinking my sparking water with cranberry juice?
it seems as though the church -and our wider culture-has swung back on the pendulum
in regards to alcohol.
young people and women in particular seem to be embracing alcohol as a sign of liberation
(as well as a way to cope with increasing pressures at work and home).
as journalist gabrielle glaser writes in
'her best kept secret: why women drink-and how they can regain control',
recent studies on drinking in America point to a broader cultural shift
where all people are encouraged to celebrate rather than hide their drinking,
to view it as a meaningful rite of passage.
for many christians, that rite of passage
includes eschewing the perceived fundamentalism of  our past.

i see this evidenced in my own life.
my peers, most of them traveling along upwardly mobile career paths,
constantly reference alcohol, especially on social media.
posting pictures of a frothy, dark Guinness.
tweeting about needing a glass of wine after a long day with a toddler.
hosting a birthday party in a hipster whiskey bar.
churches are hosting small groups like 'Think and Drinks',
talking theology over craft beer.
and with every picture, tweet and event that centers on alcohol, i wonder:
ISN'T ANYONE FRIENDS WITH ALCOHOLICS?

perhaps my peers are unaware of any neighbors, friends or brothers and sisters
who struggle in this way.
but the reality is they likely do know someone who struggles with alcoholism.
the new york times reports that about 1 in 6 americans has a drinking problem
(defined as excessive drinking or alcoholism).
about 80 percent of college age people drink and half of them binge drink on a regular basis.

there are other, less visible, problems.
health risks stemming from alcohol use
-cirrhosis and other live diseases, for example
-dispro0portionately affect minorities in the united states.
alcohol is a driving factor in assault and sexual assault cases reported by people ages 18 to 24.
one in ten children in america grows up with a parent who abuses alcohol.
and 70% of children in the foster care system are affected by some type of prenatal alcohol exposure.

i absorb these statistics and i also see them played out in front of me.
alcohol stars to become an integral part of the brokenness i witness every day:
violence, mental health issues, sickness and premature death.
i see how it becomes a form of oppression in marginalized communities.
i see how easy it is for someone like me to proclaim christian liberty
and freely drink in moderation, in celebration.
and i see how that reality is not the reality of many of my brothers and sister, friends and neighbors.
'do not get drunk with wine, the scriptures say.
for many, the disease with which they are afflicted makes them unable to drink
WITHOUT getting drunk.
so what is a christian supposed to do?

the church down through the centuries has engaged in drinking alcohol
-the early church assumes wine for communion, wedding and medicinal purposes.
but it also cautioned against drunkenness and understood that some christians would need to
abstain from wine (and meat) as a matter of conscience.

today romans 14 is often held up as an example of engaging in cautious christian liberty.
all things are sanctioned by God.
but if your choices actively cause someone to sin,
it's your duty to think first of them.
neighborly love, we call it.
paul is quick to caution believers not to judge one another
-either those who seem too 'permissive' or those who don't want to
or simply can't engage in the good gifts of the Lord.

christians also tend to apply I corinthinans 8, wher paul writes concerning eating meat offered to idols,
to the alcohol question.
ever the pragmatist, paul writes,
'food will not commend us to God.
we are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off it we do' v8, ESV

he then acknowledges that some believers won't eat meat offered to idols
and that for others it may even prove to be a roadblock
in experiencing the transforming work of Christ.
in these cases, paul makes it clear that there is no wiggle room:
'therefore, if food makes my brother stumble,
i will never eat meat,
lest i make my brother stumble' v13 ESV

perhaps no substance fits the definition of 'causing some to stumble but not others'
quite like alcohol does.
as our contemporary understanding of alcohol abuse grows,
so too should our understanding of christian liberty.
we know that some just can't drink in a responsible way
that doesn't end up harming themselves and others.
this, at the least, should give pause to those of us who do not struggle in the same way
and lead us to pray for empathy.
if we are in relationship with people for whom alcohol
is a gateway to addictive and destructive behaviors,
the christian obligation to love compels us to think before we drink
-or to not drink at all.

but perhaps there is another way for the modern reader to interpret this passage.
in the first letter to the corinthians,
paul is assuming that his recipients are doing life with people from an array of backgrounds:
those who are fine with eating meat offered to idols
and those who are extremely uncomfortable with it.
he is addressing a first century world in which believers and pagan meat sellers
interact in a civic society,
a world where christian beliefs directly inform how followers of Christ eat, dress and drink.
paul is telling the early churches how to conduct themselves in a world
where people are coming from very different places.
and, as always, paul asks then to land in the place of love,
to think of their neighbor's needs before their own.

the problem arises when our neighbors and peers are people who are just like us.
churches in a consumerist, western landscape can easily cater to
specific demographics, ethnicities and theologies.
social media allow us to curate our friends and acquaintances and influencers based on how similar they are to us.
we gravitate toward people who look like us, think like us and drink like us.
and when we think about enjoying alcohol as christians, this might be the real sin.

if you wear a 'i heart bacon' t shirt,
i will have to assume you don't have many muslim or jewish friends.
likewise, if you are posting about how 'mommy needs her wine',
i will assume you don't know anyone struggling with alcoholism.
at best, the progressive christian social media world
appears tone-deaf to many realities at the margins of society.
at its worst, it speaks to a relational divide that is much more problematic
than the question of whether or not christians should drink alcohol.

i didn't give up alcohol because i wanted to flee the evils of the world.
i gave up alcohol as a way of engaging the evils of the world.
substance abuse and addictions affect every corner of our society.
hey keep people from relationships with God and one another.
have we swung so far on the swing of christian liberty
that we have lost sight of the greater purposes of looking out for the least of these,
which includes many who struggle with alcohol abuse?
christian liberty is an important theological concept-
it helps us remember and celebrate the grace and love of a very good God.
but only in a context of diverse relationships do liberty and license make sense.
casting wide our nets to include people
of different ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds and cultures
will naturally cause us to consider how our actions affect those not like us.

i have been changed by my neighborhood.
i think carefully about ow i portray my life and my liberties on social media,
conscious that my reality is not the reality of everyone.
when we throw parties, they are now delightfully awkward,
people staring into sober cups.
when we take communion with our friends and neighbors,
we use grape flavored kool aid as a symbol of Christ's blood, shed for us.
my clothes, food, language and -yes-drink
have been altered as i try to align my liberty in Christ
with the realities of my admittedly unique context.

i am not calling on everyone to become teetotalers.
but i am asking us to consider temperance as a valid and thoughtful option
-as it has been for many christians throughout the centuries.
as my mentor, a 20 year veteran of working and living among the poor,
often says, 'we are free not to drink'
because o our relatinships with those who struggle.

we are free indeed-when love naturally tempers our actions.